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GatsbysDream GatsbysDream is offline
 
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Disrespectful to a tee.
Old 05-05-2017, 01:03 AM
 
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I posted this under "New Teacher" but after considering the topic, I think the post is better-suited here.

This is my fifth year teaching and my first year in this school. I teach ninth grade on all levels in an urban setting.

I get along with 94% of my students well, however, there is one with whom things have gone downhill since the beginning of the second semester. Today he really pushed my buttons as I was giving work back. The rest of my class was on - task, working in pairs on their assignment. I NEVER hand back work without giving an assignment first. He was in my "space" and got a little too close. When I reminded him of my "personal bubble" he said "Well don't come into my personal bubble..." as if I didn't hear him. I then reminded him that I'm the teacher and he needs to understand that I need to check his work. His response? "Don't be up in my bubble checkin' on MY work" (thinking I didn't hear him)

He is rude and takes any chance he can to undermine my authority despite the consequences. He says "no" when the class is given directions. He refuses to follow rules. When students follow rules I always thank them and I'm respectful. I ignore him most of the time when he displays his negative behavior, but lately it's been ridiculous. He was angry that I called his parents over his grade in my class as school protocol dictates for progress reports. He took the time to seek me out after school hours when he was supposed to be at weight training to tell me not to call his parents. He was then rude to both myself and the secretary saying he was talking to "me, not her" and we both told him he needed to go where he was supposed to be. I spoke with our disciplinarian and he advised me to write him up, which I did this morning.

The positive in this situation is that all but one of his classmates ignore him. They're teammates, and play on the same b-ball teams together inside and outside of school. When this kid isn't in class, the other student is so-so.

I'm worried this kid is going to make me lose my job that I love doing each day. I have great classroom management; the kids know what to do and my procedures. This kid's modus operandi seems to be to ruin me.

Administrators have had sit-downs with him and myself to fix the situation, which I was completely into doing to remedy the situation. I earnestly apologized if I had done anything to offend him and he just wanted to air every grievance he had with me, which included "why can't you just chill and be cool like the other teachers?" "Why can't you just let us do what we wanna do?" and it was clear the admin was on my side, reminding him that he is the student and it's my classroom. Oh, and his favorite? "Why is it when teachers do something wrong they don't get in trouble, but when we do, we get into trouble?"

I've dealt with rough kids before, but he takes the cake. I'm at my wit's end with this child. Any advice? I've called home. I've spoken with guidance. I've discussed him with the disciplinarian. I've asked for advice from other teachers (not much was given, and they seem to think he is a PITA as well)

There's definitely a personality clash, but I don't know how to fix this.


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Fenwick Fenwick is offline
 
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Old 05-05-2017, 06:19 PM
 
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What management system have you been using (besides referrals and calling parents)?
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Old 05-06-2017, 02:57 AM
 
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If this was one of those teacher hero movies, the conclusion would be that he's reacting to the fact that you're the only teacher who hasn't given up on him (by ignoring his wish for you to "just chill and be cool" and let them "do what we wanna" and actually expecting something from him) and he really wants to trust you, but his previous experience with adults makes him afraid to do that...

And that may be true (or he may just be a jerk) - you've just got to go with your gut on this one:

If you do think you're close to reaching him, concentrate on building an appropriate relationship through showing an interest in his reality. (Teens often don't believe we understand their lives...and sometimes they're right, especially in cases of vastly different economic levels.) You said he's on a team, so I guess I'd start with showing an interest in that. - Take all of this with a grain of salt, though, as it's so much easier for me with little kids, and I imagine things can be easily misinterpreted in high school!

If you don't feel like this is a case of "kids won't care until they're sure you do" (and it isn't always!) just concentrate on not letting him take too much away from the more motivated students in the class. It's almost the end of the year!
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Why Would You Get Fired?
Old 05-07-2017, 07:14 AM
 
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I don't understand why you would get fired because of this kid? I find every year out of over 100 or so students, maybe two or so really end up disliking me. Yep, they might not like me holding them accountable or not giving up on them. Sometimes they come back years later and we laugh about it. Sometimes they commit a crime or drop out of school. You do your best and then move on.

I think the "Why can't you let us do what we want to do?" is a huge compliment to you. You are teaching and holding the students to high expectations. When I am covering a class and the students are eating, drinking, wandering along, and in and out, I think, "This is terrible. No one is learning anything. The kids just waste their time in here." You are doing your job and this kid doesn't like it.

Keep up the good work. I wouldn't waster too much time worrying about this kid. You've pulled out all the stops. Keep calling home and referring him until he gets with the program. No more warnings, he is playing the system and it will catch up with him.
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GatsbysDream GatsbysDream is offline
 
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Old 05-07-2017, 12:38 PM
 
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I have honestly tried all year to form a rapport with this young man.

I thought I was making some headway at the end of the last quarter, but I realized on Thursday none was made.

I went to a ton of games and I try to show an interest in his life and ask how he's doing, but I don't get much of a response.


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GatsbysDream GatsbysDream is offline
 
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Old 05-07-2017, 12:40 PM
 
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I would hate to think that administration thought I couldn't "handle" the kid.
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Ninetwo Ninetwo is offline
 
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Let him fail. Natural consequence.
Old 05-18-2017, 04:26 PM
 
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He obviously does not want to learn. Does he disrupt the class with a lot of talking and noise? If not ignor him. Let him fail. Teach the kids that want to learn. Why waist your energy and time you could spend with the other good students on this slug? When it is time for report cards put in the comment section why he is failing. Make sure to make notes on all the disrespectful things he says and does, with dates. I always tell my naughty students, "It is fine if you don't want to learn, but don't ruin it for those that do. Either participate, sit there quietly, or go out in the hall. You make the choice" Then walk away. If they argue, "Just keep repeating, "What did I say?" (Love and Logic) Stay calm and act sympathetic. "I know it's a bummer, but what did I say?"
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You are doing a magnificent job with the othe
Old 08-12-2017, 07:51 AM
 
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There will always be kids who do not want to do work and have a personality conflict with us. It is most unfortunate, and I too have spent sleepless nights mentally beating myself up because I am not super teacher who can reach all kids. But, this is my 38th year of teaching now: I know that I can only do my best. This student has major problems obviously. You have gone over and above the call of duty, and I admire you for this. I am sure that you have followed my first two protocols: talk to his other teachers and coach & find out how they deal with him. His coach is able to get him to participate, so they must be getting along, or he would have been kicked off the team. My second line of defense is the school counselor. I arrange a meeting with the student, myself, and the counselor. I think you have already done this, based on your words about having administration work with you and the student. I would ask the counselor to put the "new plan" in writing as a checklist which you fill out for the student daily, and then on Friday, send it to the counselor so that he can "counsel" the student on his improved or unimproved behavior and step up consequences for the next week if there is no improvement.
Ultimately, I use prayer. I pray for the kid. Sometimes nothing happens with the kid, but my attitude seems to soften somewhat.
Could his schedule be changed? That is a last resort, but if that is the only pupil you lose, isn't it worth it, for your peace of mind, and a good night's sleep? Good luck! I will put you on my prayer list because I have definitely been there and done that. Whether you realize it or not, you are a great teacher!
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My student hates me
Old 09-23-2017, 07:38 PM
 
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I read this book last year (cannot remember title, sorry), but he sounds like a kid that needs attention.

For these kids, the book suggests to give him responsibility. John, can you pass out the work. John, can you take this to the office for me. Assign him tasks and then praise, praise, praise. Continue getting to know him. Maybe at home he is physically punished when you call. Some parents beat their kids for bad grades. Maybe ask him to come to the class during lunch and then just talk to him like a person not a student. Get to know him and let him know you (to an extent). Maybe next year make him your T.A. if things work out. Thats my suggestion.
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