Is this a big thing to ask? Kinda a vent - ProTeacher Community




Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      BusyBoard

Is this a big thing to ask? Kinda a vent

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
cruxian's Avatar
cruxian cruxian is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

cruxian
 
cruxian's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member
Is this a big thing to ask? Kinda a vent
Old 05-16-2019, 02:03 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

I was kinda shocked today when a coworker asked me something. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
I have taught at my current school for 12 years. Next year, I am moving to teach 6th grade science. My teammate is moving to teach 6th grade language arts. During lunch, she looked at me and said, "Hey, since you're moving to sixth grade science next year, if you have any books and book sets that you'd be willing to loan me, I'd appreciate it."
I feel like this is a big thing to ask. While we've been teaching the same number of years, I've spent more years teaching in the upper elementary years and more years teaching language arts. I've had more opportunities to develop a classroom library appropriate for the age but I've also worked harder at it. I've accumulated Scholastic Dollars and used them wisely. Sometimes I read up on children's literature so that I know which books I like to use. When I stop at a used book store to get some anime for my daughter, I'll scan some of the other books and see if there's one that I'd like to pick up. (Yes, I realize teachers should have unlimited budgets to buy books for their classroom libraries. And yes, I respect those of you who choose not to spend their money on this. I don't spend a huge amount of money on this but I do and I don't regret it.)
I'm totally okay with her not spending her own money on books, if she chooses not to. I'm not giving her mine though since I'm not sure if I'll need it again (and I likely will). If I gave her books, I could not possibly expect them back. She's very disorganized, doesn't take care of books, and every time I'd walk into her room, I'd start organizing her library (which literally consists of books shoved into bookcases without any organization).


cruxian is offline   Reply With Quote

GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
GreyhoundGirl GreyhoundGirl is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,444
Senior Member

GreyhoundGirl
 
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,444
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 02:09 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

That was a huge ask and no way would I give her books I paid for with my own money, especially since she’s so disorganized and doesn’t take care of things.
GreyhoundGirl is online now   Reply With Quote
MissAgnes MissAgnes is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,087
Senior Member

MissAgnes
 
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,087
Senior Member
I don't see it as a big deal.
Old 05-16-2019, 02:13 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

All you have to say is no. I always say it doesn't hurt to ask.
MissAgnes is offline   Reply With Quote
cruxian's Avatar
cruxian cruxian is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

cruxian
 
cruxian's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 02:28 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

Miss Agnes, you're right it doesn't hurt to ask and I'm not giving them to her. It reminds me of students who, if they see me eating my lunch, ask if they can have some. It doesn't hurt to ask but it comes across as pushy. I actually have a rule in the classroom that if you ask to have something, I won't give it to you----even if I was literally about to hand it to you. I see it as falling under the "you don't get to ask for a gift" category. In general, being asked for something like this makes me significantly less likely to offer it.
TBH, I might feel somewhat differently if I saw her putting some effort into it. It just doesn't seem like a priority to her.....either organizing them or looking into which ones she wants.
cruxian is offline   Reply With Quote
KatieViolet's Avatar
KatieViolet KatieViolet is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,884
Senior Member

KatieViolet
 
KatieViolet's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,884
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 02:31 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

I am like you and have an extensive classroom library, built much the same way. I would not give a carte blanche offer to loan anything she might possibly use, and would be very hesitant to do so. I would, however, consider loaning copies of a specific book for a specific time, with the expectation of returning them when done. For example, I have several class sets of novels, and have loaned them out one set at a time to my colleagues. I show them how I’ve numbered them to keep track of them and kindly but firmly tell them when I need the set back.

But it sounds like she’s not as diligent about caring for books is I’d like someone to be with my books! So maybe I wouldn’t offer at all!


KatieViolet is offline   Reply With Quote
MissAgnes MissAgnes is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,087
Senior Member

MissAgnes
 
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 1,087
Senior Member
I see your point.
Old 05-16-2019, 02:45 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

I guess it's just different with my teammates. I just borrowed a class set of books from my teammate. I used them, and gave them back. I've loaned things to her, and to other teachers. I've never felt like it was pushy for them to ask, nor pushy for me to ask.

Just a different environment.
MissAgnes is offline   Reply With Quote
cruxian's Avatar
cruxian cruxian is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

cruxian
 
cruxian's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 03:48 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

MissAgnes, oh I misunderstood! In that case, I think it would not hurt to ask at all. I wish I had teammates like that. In that case, I totally would. Come to think of it, I do have one colleague who is like that---she'll come and borrow a set for a high group (she's fourth grade, I"m fifth) and it's back on the shelves in no time. I'm sorry as I'm sure I sounded crabby.
KatieViolet, I'm wondering if there's something I can do like that. I should weed out my books anyway as I have some left over from the "I just need books" phase of teaching that I could likely pass on without worrying about needing them back.
cruxian is offline   Reply With Quote
Keltikmom's Avatar
Keltikmom Keltikmom is online now
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 8,234
Senior Member

Keltikmom
 
Keltikmom's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 8,234
Senior Member
Books
Old 05-16-2019, 04:51 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

Oh, I know that feeling. Because I bought books all,the time, and used Scholastic points, and our district gave us a ton of money to buy books for a few years and because I inherited two teachers’ classrooms, I had probably 1,000 books, very possibly more. Rarely lent them out.

Just before I retired, I invited my replacement to visit my room. She was overjoyed with the books. When I went back to visit in September , at least a third of my books were gone. The P told 2 teachers who were notoriously bad about ordering appropriate levelled books to raid my room.

It ticked me off a lot.

So, I would tell her that there’s a chance you might go back to teaching language arts again and prefer to keep your books. And, FWIW, I probably would have asked, too, just on the off chance you said yes.
Keltikmom is online now   Reply With Quote
Ima Teacher's Avatar
Ima Teacher Ima Teacher is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 27,355
Senior Member

Ima Teacher
 
Ima Teacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 27,355
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 06:20 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

My passive-aggressive tendencies make me very unlikely to give someone something they ask me to give them. One of my coworkers asked me for a book set that I’d gotten with a grant. She seemed a little miffed when I wouldn’t let her have them. If she had asked to borrow them, maybe, but she wanted to have them permanently.
Ima Teacher is online now   Reply With Quote
Haley23 Haley23 is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,965
Senior Member

Haley23
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,965
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 06:35 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

I honestly may have asked the same thing if we were teammates. I would assume that you wouldn't be able to use the materials in a Science position and they'd just be collecting dust- especially since she asked you to loan them, not give them permanently (so you could have them back if you go back to ELA). Of course it's your stuff and you're certainly within your rights to say no, but I don't think it was rude of her to ask. I could see it coming off as rude if it were a random teacher you didn't know very well. In the buildings I've worked in teams are very close.

If it were me, I'd probably look through and keep out my favorites and let her have the rest. I'd write my name on it if I were wanting to get it back at some point, and make it clear to her that if you go back to that type of position you will be asking for the materials back. If she's just not very trustworthy and you're afraid she won't treat them well or won't give them back, I'd just say no.


Haley23 is online now   Reply With Quote
kahluablast's Avatar
kahluablast kahluablast is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,362
Senior Member

kahluablast
 
kahluablast's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 18,362
Senior Member

Old 05-16-2019, 06:41 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

I don't think it is rude, either. I wish someone were available to borrow my library. I really don't want to decide what to keep and what not to keep. I also don't want to store it, and don't want to bring it home. I also don't want to need it later and not have it anymore.
kahluablast is online now   Reply With Quote
TheElphaba's Avatar
TheElphaba TheElphaba is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 43
Junior Member

TheElphaba
 
TheElphaba's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 43
Junior Member
Neither a borrower nor a lender be
Old 05-16-2019, 07:32 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

I personally don't mind if people ask for a loan of something as long as they know that I CAN say "no".

I have loaned many things in the past and I am still waiting for the return of items

Feel free to say "no" as they are your books.

As we all know some people are trustworthy & responsible where as others are not.

If they get upset with your answer of "no" that is there problem.
TheElphaba is offline   Reply With Quote
anna's Avatar
anna anna is online now
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 12,037
Senior Member

anna
 
anna's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 12,037
Senior Member

Old 05-17-2019, 06:20 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

I don't blame her for asking at all. I worked in a school where teachers traded without too many worries. It depends on who is doing the asking and I get your hesitation at helping her out. Don't feel guilty. It's your stuff and you may need it at some point. It's a shame teachers don't have what they need and we have to go begging at times. I have been literally giving my kinder classroom things away and chose two beginning teachers who wanted my stuff
. I made a deal with them: pack up everything,take what you want and cart the rest to the Goodwill. That offer includes a huge classroom library in colored bins
anna is online now   Reply With Quote
cruxian's Avatar
cruxian cruxian is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

cruxian
 
cruxian's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

Old 05-17-2019, 06:29 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #14

Thanks for the perspective everyone!!
I've read through your responses and reflected on them and what I think and will do.
FWIW, it'd be different if we were in a school where we had previously traded books back and forth. We don't.
I've decided it would also have been different if she was newer to teaching, I was closer to retirement, or if I perceived she put much effort into organizing/collecting/adding to her own classroom library.
Truly, whatever I "lend" her, I will not get back both due to her disorganization and general wear and tear.
I think that there are some books that I might not want to lug home at the end of the year and possibly. some that I have at home that I wasn't using in my classroom that I can give to her.
cruxian is offline   Reply With Quote
UVAgrl928 UVAgrl928 is online now
 
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 557
Senior Member

UVAgrl928
 
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 557
Senior Member

Old 05-17-2019, 07:19 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #15

I have a TON of resources- I spent thousands of dollars in my early years of teaching. The last time I moved schools, the first thing my team asked me when I accepted a job was “what are you doing with your stuff?” Seriously, the FIRST thing! No congrats or anything. I had contemplated leaving them stuff, but after that I intentionally made sure anything I left that I left with other grade levels. And I was staying in the same grade, so ...

This time I am letting go of certain things, since as you know I’m going to a new school and becoming a specialist. However, my classroom library I’m packing up in large tubs cause you just never know. Anything I’m giving away, I’m giving to people going to the same school with me- with the understanding that if I ever need it I will be coming to them.

I’m someone that ALWAYS offers resources- but I’m with you- I think it was kinda rude. I wouldn’t ask someone for their stuff they’ve bought with personal funds unless it was a close friend. I guess I’ll step off my soapbox now lol.
UVAgrl928 is online now   Reply With Quote
teachnkids's Avatar
teachnkids teachnkids is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 24,298
Senior Member

teachnkids
 
teachnkids's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 24,298
Senior Member

Old 05-17-2019, 07:49 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #16

I think it's totally different to loan a colleague that's in your building a set of books to use vs "loaning" a teacher all your books when you won't be in the same building.
teachnkids is offline   Reply With Quote
Sam5's Avatar
Sam5 Sam5 is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,074
Senior Member

Sam5
 
Sam5's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,074
Senior Member

Old 05-18-2019, 04:53 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #17

If it is a teacher you work with and have a positive relationship it is not out of line, and you can always tell her no.

When I retired, I swear the vultures were circling around my room trying to get all my stuff. I even had a teacher who had been mean and nasty to me for the last 4 years of my teaching career. She had the nerve to ask for my "stuff" when I retired. I don't think so! I had spent a small fortune of my own money or wrote grants to that acquire that stuff. Fortunately, I knew the person who was taking my position. I had her go through my room and mark anything she wanted. Then I set the rest out on a table in the lounge for people to take. What was left I either donated or pitched.
Sam5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Lilbitkm Lilbitkm is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,761
Senior Member

Lilbitkm
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,761
Senior Member

Old 05-18-2019, 06:34 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #18

I wouldn’t think anything of asking my teacher friends what they were doing with their stuff. Actually one of my friends is moving from 3rd grad to 6th grade and we asked her....

The huge difference though.... we all offered to BUY her books/materials not to loan them to us.
Lilbitkm is online now   Reply With Quote
cruxian's Avatar
cruxian cruxian is offline
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

cruxian
 
cruxian's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,788
Senior Member

Old 05-18-2019, 09:24 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #19

Y'all are right. If she'd offered to buy them from me, I'd have felt differently. "
I've decided that I'd have felt differently if (a) she organized her books and took better care of them or (b) if I'd seen her attempting to build her own collection at all or (c) if I felt like she'd take good care of them.
cruxian is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
BusyBoard
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:29 PM.

Copyright © 2019 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net