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Iím gonna need bail money.
Old 09-20-2018, 06:17 PM
  #1

Iím totally gonna need bail money to go get my 72 year old terminally ill mother out of jail when she shoots the guy who has been creeping around her house.

Sheís seen him three times hanging out at her house. She has suspected more times just based on things she has noticed at the house. She contacted the police last weekend. He showed up again today. This time he rang the doorbell, then tried to open the door. She saw it was him and called 911. While waiting for the police, she watches him go to her mailbox, take out her mail, sort through it, and open stuff!

She opens the door, yells at him to put her mail back in the box and leave her alone. And adds that sheís called the police. And then tells him if he tries to come in her house again, sheís shooting him.

Police arrive and tell him to leave. And tell Mom to put her gun away. I offered to come stay with her, but she refused. She says as long as she is physically able to stay by herself, sheís doing it.

Hopefully everyone behaves themselves.


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Old 09-20-2018, 06:22 PM
  #2

Your mom is one fiesty lady. Good for her. He's trespassing. She totally has a right to shoot him. And if the police didn't arrest him then shame on them.
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Old 09-20-2018, 06:22 PM
  #3

Have you read the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich? I think your mom is Grandma Mazur. And that's a good thing. I say, wing him.
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Old 09-20-2018, 06:24 PM
  #4

Sure seems like the police should be doing more! He's stalking her, trying to get in, and opening her mail! I would hope they would take this more seriously. Your poor mom!
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Old 09-20-2018, 06:38 PM
  #5

He has been arrested for similar things, but he always gets out.

Sheís definitely feisty. Iíve had to giggle at the mental picture of her in her driveway in her slippers and robe holding a gun and threatening to shoot a trespasser.

Sometimes our redneck/hillbilly heritage shows.


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Old 09-20-2018, 06:46 PM
  #6

I love your mama and I haven't even met her!
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Old 09-20-2018, 06:49 PM
  #7

I donít understand why the police donít do more? A sick older woman being harassed by a known stalker? They must be able charge him with trespassing and opening someone elseís mail is a federal offense, I believe. Thatís crazy!
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Old 09-20-2018, 06:53 PM
  #8

I don't get it either. They should arrest him, not just tell him to leave. They sound very incompetent.
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I agree
Old 09-20-2018, 06:53 PM
  #9

I thought opening someone's mailbox was a federal offense.
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Old 09-20-2018, 07:03 PM
  #10

I totally agree with the grandma Muzar comparison. I think your mom is a hoot. I can't believe the cops just let him go. He is scaring a little old lady for heavens sake. I might need to read those Janet Evanowich books again. So hilarious!


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It is a federal offense
Old 09-20-2018, 07:06 PM
  #11

why wasn't he arrested???? I'm afraid for her. Your police dept. is incompetent .

I'm not seeing the humor in this. Too many bad things waiting to happen here.
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creep
Old 09-20-2018, 07:12 PM
  #12

opening her mail is a federal offense contact the postmaster
get an official restraining order and if the police don't arrest the man they will be in contempt.


Your mom might hurt herself or another innocent person is she shoots at this guy
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Old 09-20-2018, 07:14 PM
  #13

great suggestions! I agree. An innocent person (and of course, your mom!) could be badly hurt.
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Old 09-20-2018, 07:18 PM
  #14

I hope the police begin to take her seriously. I like the idea of getting the post master involved.
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Old 09-20-2018, 07:20 PM
  #15

Your mom sure knows how to take care of herself! How scary that he tried to come in opened her mail! That's a federal crime by the way. They should have arrested him for that alone. Did they arrest him?

Nancy
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Old 09-20-2018, 07:33 PM
  #16

He crumpled up her mail and put it back in the box. So, technically he didnít steal it.

Iím going to stop by the post office and talk to the postmaster.

And keep filing complaints against him. The police know him well. Itís a very small town, and the police force is small and overwhelmed with drug-related issues. That is part of this guyís issues.

She has security lights, strong locks/steel doors, and an attached garage. Itís really hard to tell if anyone is home or not. One of my friends lives across the street from her, and there are good neighbors. Sheís also on a heavily traveled street that gets regular patrolling.

Iím going to jury duty next week, and Iím going to ask about a restraining order while Iím at the court house. My only police contact besides being a part of the grand jury a few years ago and now district duty has been due to Hot Mess Neighbor and now this jerk, so I donít know much about things like this.
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Old 09-20-2018, 09:50 PM
  #17

Quote:
He crumpled up her mail and put it back in the box. So, technically he didnít steal it.
I could be wrong, but I think touching the mail is in itself an offense. I recall being told that just putting an envelope in someone's box (not going though the postal service, just using it as a place to drop a note to a neighbor kind of thing) was illegal.


I agree it's time to look into a restraining order.
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Old 09-20-2018, 11:52 PM
  #18

I like your mum. I would have thought the police could do more than just talk to him 8n this situation.
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Reminded me
Old 09-21-2018, 01:18 AM
  #19

Your mom's reaction reminded me of a news story I heard a number of years back. A lady attacked an intruder in her home with a cast iron pan. When asked if she was afraid she responded of course not, she raised 5 boys!

Your mom is awesome. I hope something can be done to take care of the creep.
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Old 09-21-2018, 01:47 AM
  #20

Great idea to talk to the post office. I agree with others that he went far too far and should have been arrested...and that your mom is one tough lady!
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Old 09-21-2018, 05:18 AM
  #21

I canít believe your PD isnít taking this more seriously.

Also, Zia is right that putting unstamped mail in someoneís mailbox is considered crime.

And itís not just mail theft that is a federa offense, itís mail tampering. If he opened a piece of mail not addressed to him, even if he put it back, that is mail tampering. Same with ďinjuring or defacing.Ē So my guess is that crumpling counts. And if he does anything to her mailbox, that will also be a federa crime.
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Concern
Old 09-21-2018, 05:27 AM
  #22

I know you are concerned for your mother. I hope this guy heeds her warning.
It is a federal offense to get into someone's mailbox and open their mail.
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dementia?
Old 09-21-2018, 08:35 AM
  #23

This is not normal behavior. I recall you mentioning that the guy was old. It makes me wonder if he has undiagnosed dementia. Do you know anything about him? Does he live alone? Does he have any relatives that look in on him occasionally?


I can't believe the police aren't more pro-active. Is there some social service that they/you can call to find out what is going on?
All those things that the guy has been doing--stalking, reading mail, trying to enter the house--are red flags, and should be taken very seriously. It appears to be escalating, and your mother could be in danger, despite her fiestiness.
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And he is there when the police arrive
Old 09-21-2018, 11:12 AM
  #24

and they tell him to go home????? He has tampered with her mail. That is a federal crime. He has trespassed multiple times and attempted a break in. Well, the last one could be an exaggeration but the police need to at least question him at the station and put the fear of God into him.
This is not right.
I think you should call the chief of police yourself, ask what the protocol is for stopping these offenses/crimes against your mom. I wouldn't be angry or hostile, but just keep saying how concerned about this invasion is, how it has caused your mom a lot of anxiety and stress and what can they do to protect and serve her. *see what I did there! Used their own motto.

Please check the police blotter and make sure they are accurately recording every one of these incidents.

Here is the law about tampering with mail:
Mailboxes are considered federal property, and federal law (Title 18, United States Code, Section 1705), makes it a crime to vandalize them (or to injure, deface or destroy any mail deposited in them). Violators can be fined up to $250,000, or imprisoned for up to three years, for each act of vandalism. Mailboxes are considered federal property, and federal law (Title 18, United States Code, Section 1705), makes it a crime to vandalize them (or to injure, deface or destroy any mail deposited in them). Violators can be fined up to $250,000, or imprisoned for up to three years, for each act of vandalism.

Your mom is feisty enough. If he does it again she needs to tell the officer that she want him arrested under title 18, united states code, section 1705!!!

Oh, good idea of better locks and security and I suggest an AIR HORN!!! . Every time she sees him.

Last edited by chipmunky; 09-21-2018 at 12:40 PM..
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Old 09-21-2018, 12:19 PM
  #25

What a shame that your mother has to put up with this in her golden years!

Police even in a BIG city don't so much either, well until you-know-what happens and I don't want to type that unpleasant thing here.

Who is this, some guy with mental issues who always liked her? I know you said he's been on drugs too. How long has this been going on? I guess your mom's not moving anytime soon, right?

That's good about the alarm system and better door, window alarms and/or closures installed too. How about a dog? Actually, he'd probably poison the dog.

Does there seem to be a certain day or days of the week that he does this, such as the weekend, for example, in which he may drink more? Even though you're mom's refused, you should insist on maybe staying over at least 1 or 2 days of the week...whenever he seems to do it most often. It's for HER safety.

Good luck!
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Old 09-21-2018, 01:04 PM
  #26

I ditto what everyone else says plus I would suggest you look into getting her a locking mailbox. The last thing you need is him stealing her mail and creating some kind of identity theft :-(
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Old 09-21-2018, 06:10 PM
  #27

So, today we learned some things.

She called the local post office and talked to the postmistress. She was rude and told Mom the police were correct that there was no crime committed, and that was a job for the police, not the post office. Mom wasn’t happy with that answer, so she called the main post office call center and asked to speak to someone about mail tampering. She talked to a very nice lady who said that there WAS a crime committed, and they would be taking care of things. Plus, they are getting a locking mailbox installed on her house for free since she is a hospice patient. She had asked about one once before and was told that locking boxes were only allowed in complexes with multiple tenants in one box because the carrier didn’t have time to unlock multiple boxes. Umm . . . what? Our postmistress seems very uninformed.

She called the state police post since she wasn’t happy with the local police. Dispatch person made her mad by saying they were documenting that she had made a threat against the trespasser by saying she would shoot him. Mom said she didn’t care what she wrote in her file. Trooper was sent to her house, and he was familiar with what had happened yesterday. He said they couldn’t take him to jail, but she could stay inside. She told him she refuses to be held prisoner in her own house, so they settled on her carrying her gun with her outside and shooting if she had to, and they’d deal with the rest later.

By that time she was super frustrated, so she called her hospice social worker who called the county attorney for her. (I’m power of attorney, too.) Since Mom is sick and not always able to do things, I’m going to file the request for no contact/no trespassing with the county attorney on Wednesday since I’ll be off work for jury duty. Her social worker has a list of all the things I’ll need to take with me.
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Old 09-21-2018, 06:25 PM
  #28

You're a good daughter.
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Old 09-22-2018, 01:13 AM
  #29

Wow, I am so sorry that you are both dealing with this as it seems like there should be more that can be done! The man tried to get into her house! As for locking mailboxes, which I mentioned above, I've seen the type where there's a slot for the mail carrier to put things in so they don't need to unlock it unless there's something too large for the slot. Only the recipient needs to unlock it to get their stuff out. Good luck!
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Old 09-22-2018, 02:42 PM
  #30

Isnít opening otherís mail a federal crime? Keltikmom, I was thinking the same thing!
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Age???
Old 09-22-2018, 06:11 PM
  #31

How old is this man to be doing things like this? And I'm glad you're making some progress with this messy situation.
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Old 09-22-2018, 08:34 PM
  #32

He is at least 80.

Mom knows him from her days as a waitress. That was in 1965.

Iím pretty sure he had called her about going out with her years ago. She had told me about a guy calling, but he was married. She had me block a number for her, but she didnít tell me who it was.

She says she is afraid of him because he is crazy.
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