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twin2 twin2 is offline
 
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Gave them space... (Tokyo visit) (LONG!)
Old 06-12-2019, 01:11 PM
  #1

My daughter in law seemed to be a little stressed the other day. She would never tell us. She is used to being home alone with their baby. Now my husband and I are here, and my son is off work this week. She never stops. She waits on us hand and foot. She keeps a very clean house and that's a lot of work when there are house guests. On top of that they have taken us all over Tokyo. She is under a lot of stress with us here and eight days is a long time to be stressed, so yesterday morning before they got out of bed, my husband and I decided to go out, to give them some family time.

By the time we were ready to leave our son was up. We told him we were going exploring on our own. We promised we would be careful not to get lost. We do not know the language and we can't call out on our cell phones. We also do not have access to Google maps once we leave his place.

We we're looking for a little mall that they took us to the first night we arrived. There is a food court there with a McDonalds. We figured we could order a meal there easily enough without speaking Japanese. We also wanted to do a little shopping.

We walked and walked. We went in one direction and found a huge park. Nothing looked familiar. We we're sure we walked through a park to get to the little mall so walked a bit. We passed kindergarten (day care) student who were brought to the park to play. One group had green hats and their teachers had green smocks on. Another group wore blue hats and smocks. They were so cute running and playing. We saw people walking their.dogs, jogging, or cutting through the park on their way to their jobs. We saw a group of elderly people playing what my husband believed to be croquet. That doesn't seem to be spelled right, but I'm sure you understand. It was a very nice walk but we still did not find the little mall, so we headed back to our starting point outside the building our son lives.

We walked the opposite direction then turned the block. We walked and walked but didn't find it. We turned back and went a different way at the corner. We walked another block but seemed to be heading to an industrial/business area so.we turned back
We went another way but seemed to be in a housing district. By this time, I was wore out. We were unsure where to go next, but we still knew how to get back to our son's place. We spotted what seemed to be a public spot with benches and a water fountain, and a worker sat down to eat his lunch. We sat on a bench looking out to the street. Nobody tried to run us off, so we talked and watched the activity there. There was a woman delivering coolers of some sort, then a delivery person on a.bike went by. There were men in business suits, and nicely dressed women walking by heading to work. Once we rested we headed off again.

This time we found what we thought was another park. Turns out it was the same park. It is very huge and we came in a different way than before. We walked a bit and saw a sign for the 7-11 and knew we were on top of it. We tried to cut through a lot, but it was so big we found we were in a fenced area and walked all the way around the building before we found a way out. We walked a bit more and found the little mall.

Ordering the meal was an adventure. We missed breakfast and had to get lunch instead. Ordering was an adventure. We pointed to items on the products mat on the counter. Then at the point where at home they ask if it is for here or to go, she asked a question. I took a chance and waved my hand toward the seating area. She smiled and gave us the price. She even helped my husband with the money when he got confused. Then she sent us to the pick up area. We enjoyed a meal then went off to shop.

While I was in the rest room, my husband realized there was free public WiFi so he connected. Our son had sent him a message on the Line app, looking for us. He was sure we were lost, so my husband responded with our location. He assured our son we we're not lost, despite walking and walking to find the mall. He told us to stay put. They wanted to get some groceries anyway. A short time later they arrived, helped us find some souvenirs for the family at home in America. Both of them seemed relaxed. We shopped as they got groceries, then we all went home.

Later, my son and husband went out to an arcade to have some fun. My husband experienced riding the train as people were headed home from work. He said it was so crowded there were people including women up against him. He was very uncomfortable with that situation, but my son told him to just keep his hands up to not get accused of anything.


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Wow!
Old 06-12-2019, 01:31 PM
  #2

Sounds like a very interesting visit!
That was quite thoughtful that you gave them some space! I'm sure it was quite appreciated!
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Old 06-12-2019, 01:43 PM
  #3

Sounds like a busy day!! Are you wearing a fitbit?? Sounds like a lot of steps!
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Wow
Old 06-12-2019, 01:47 PM
  #4

Thatís quite an adventure!
Iím curious: does your son and his wife speak Japanese, English or both with one another? Will your grandson be raised bilingual? Itís such a great opportunity to have both cultures.

I also love hearing about your trip - thanks for sharing
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Old 06-12-2019, 02:02 PM
  #5

Thank you for sharing your adventures! Iím so glad that you get to spend this time with your DS and family.


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Old 06-12-2019, 02:44 PM
  #6

I love the details you have written about your visit and was so happy to see your post. It sounds like you both are having a wonderful time! How thoughtful to give your dil some space and rest from being a hostess! No wonder your son is so thoughtful. You both raised him well. I hope to see more about your visit!
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Old 06-12-2019, 03:15 PM
  #7

Sounds like a fun adventure you had today! Thanks for sharing it!
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Old 06-12-2019, 03:49 PM
  #8

Moms, you know how it is. No matter if a mom works or stays at home, in many households she is the one who feels the pressure to be the perfect hostess, take care of her family's needs, and keep the house clean. Some dads are great and help out a lot, even taking more responsibility than the mom, but it is still the mom that feels the pressure because she knows fingers will ultimately point back to her if the is a problem.

I've raised my kids. I've dealt with my in-laws. They are who I don't want to be. I totally get it. It's not that I'm a good person, I just understand the need for normalcy when we can get it. Plus it really was an adventure to go off on our own. We just stayed off the train because we were afraid we'd really get lost. We kept a reference as to which way was "home". When we couldn't see the building, we kept an eye on a nearby building that was taller. Most of the time that worked. When it didn't we paid attention so we could back track. It helped that my husband has some sense about how cities tend to be layed out. I don't lol.
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Old 06-12-2019, 04:55 PM
  #9

It was so sweet of you to give them some space. I am glad your adventure had a happy ending! Enjoy the rest of your stay!
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Japan visit
Old 06-12-2019, 05:40 PM
  #10

Thank you for sharing! Your description reminded me of when I visited my brother in Tokyo some years ago. He would go off to work, and I would go off on my self directed tours to explore the fascinating city. May you enjoy more Tokyo adventures!


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Japan
Old 06-12-2019, 06:19 PM
  #11

Oh, the joys of travel! I loved reading your description of trying to find the little mall. My favorite thing in a new city is to get lost. It makes you see things in a different light.
Next time download Google Translate. It is a great help. You can also "read" with Google Translate. I have used it in Thailand, Cambodia, Greece, China and other places with their (to me) incomprehensible scripts, and it works well enough to get the gist of it.
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Old 06-12-2019, 07:05 PM
  #12

It was very thoughtful of you to do that, and very brave !

Nancy
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Old 06-12-2019, 07:26 PM
  #13

Quote:
Iím curious: does your son and his wife speak Japanese, English or both with one another? Will your grandson be raised bilingual?
I'm curious about this, too.
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Old 06-13-2019, 04:33 AM
  #14

Sounds like a fun adventure and Iím sure your son and his wife appreciated the space.
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