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Since I'm on vacation, do I have to ...
Old 06-15-2017, 02:22 PM
  #1

...take care of DH's responsibilities so he can relax when he gets home? For example, he brought home a dog in September and he knows it's his responsibility to walk the dog in the morning and in the evening (he's just a pup). Since I've been home (1 week) I've started adding a mid-day walk to the dog's exercise routine, which I know he needs! But this week, DH is really resisting the pm walk. I asked him if he thought it was now my job and he agreed. I rejected that idea. I went grocery shopping and replaced two items ($$$$) that needed to be replaced because of him and "his" dog. I made dinner for him and I'll be cleaning the bedding too. I don't want this responsibility! Don't get me wrong - I love the dog, I really do, but I would never have brought him home. He's big, hard to handle and a LOT of work ALL DAY LONG!!

Am I being a brat? Please be honest.


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Old 06-15-2017, 02:30 PM
  #2

No you are not being a brat. It is so frustrating to hear that husband's of female teachers seem to think that since they are off, they will do everything and all the men have to do is work and come home and watch tv.

I don't blame you for being annoyed about that.

Male teachers out there who are married to non-teachers. Do your wives throw all of the home responsibilities on you just because you are off for the summer?
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Old 06-15-2017, 02:45 PM
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I do not think you are being a brat, either. It would be different if you wanted to do those things, but since you don't, and it is "his" dog- he can take care of his CHOSEN responsibilities.
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Hmmm, had this discussion this morning!
Old 06-15-2017, 02:54 PM
  #4

Long timed married teacher, married to a non-teacher. I think I do a little of both. My hubby's business is very busy in the summer, long hours etc. During the school year he often steps up, brings home dinner, helps get me out the door and such. So when I'm home during the summer I do more than I usually do but it's a give and take. I am clear on the extra stuff I want to accomplish that I don't have time to do during the school year so I'm not free to do whatever he needs me to do all day either.
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Not Brat
Old 06-15-2017, 03:05 PM
  #5

I understand completely. He wanted a dog he needs to assume the responsibility. If he does not suggest that he should find the dog another home. A really good one.

If you start doing the work the dog is yours for life and your husband will probably just start taking care of all do matter. It is just the way men are. Right?

You deserve to enjoy your vacation. Get some R and R.


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Old 06-15-2017, 03:10 PM
  #6

I don't think this has to do with you being on vacation vs him not. The bigger problem is that he got a dog you don't want. I think that's just asking for trouble.

Also dog walking shouldn't be a chore; it's the fun part of dog ownership. If he doesn't even want to do that, does he really want a dog?

I do take on extra chores in the summer because I'm home, but he takes them on during the school year because I'm always busy and tired. I think it's reasonable.
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Old 06-15-2017, 03:12 PM
  #7

I think you just need to tell him you are happy to give the dog an extra walk mid-day, when you are able to, but that the dog still needs his evening walk.
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Old 06-15-2017, 03:17 PM
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Tell him the walk is extra not instead of.
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Old 06-15-2017, 05:15 PM
  #9

I do more in the summer and have tried doing more now that I am retired. I would say he needs to take him on a walk at night. If he wanted the dog he should take care of it. If he doesn't want to do it then consider trying to find a new home for it. My DH and I both do cat duty.
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Old 06-15-2017, 06:00 PM
  #10

Thanks for all of your replies. To be fair, he has been doing a lot around the house, and he takes great care of me. I love him so much! I do usually do extra when I can and I'm happy to do it because he does the same for me. I think tonight I took offense when he seemed to expect it. I don't want him to think that I will take over this 'job' he created, but I'll help out when I want to help. Honestly, this dog just gets the best of me and I really look forward to the times DH takes him out to the park. (I feel guilty about this.) Ugh. It'll be fine. I think he understands. I really appreciate all of the advice.


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Brat????
Old 06-15-2017, 06:08 PM
  #11

Absolutely not! Not your dog, not your responsibility. I know you love the pup, but you should not have to do DH's job when he is capable.
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Old 06-16-2017, 02:59 AM
  #12

Maybe a little heart-to-heart chat with your husband would help. Pick a time when you're not in the "heat of the moment" so to speak and just explain to him how it makes you feel, and what you would appreciate from him. I think sometimes men (and women too, really) need to be specifically told when something they've done is bothering someone else.
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