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Violet4 Violet4 is offline
 
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Save me from this coworker
Old 05-22-2019, 05:22 PM
 
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She decided to put together a last minute after school event next week that I cannot go to. I emailed her that I can't go even though she already emailed everyone else without my consent. This is definitely something she and I are supposed to do together so it's not something she should just decide without me.

getting ready for a nasty email tomorrow and yes they do hurt my feelings even though I'm supposed to be tough. I really can't take much more of this.


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Stand your ground
Old 05-22-2019, 09:41 PM
 
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The email might be nasty but her behavior isn't acceptable. If the date is that important to her, she should do it herself. And then broken record her. "I'm sorry you're going to have to do it without me. As I told you, I'm not available that day." Over and over again. Don't explain, don't cave in.
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Old 05-23-2019, 03:25 AM
 
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This person sounds like a nightmare.

Stand your ground, even if you cry when you do it. You will feel better when you do, I promise. Do it face to face, not through an email. Breathe and keep calm, walk away if you have to. I have been there before and what I learned is that I didn't need to be afraid. This person is not afraid of offending you. If it were me, I would just go in and say, "I got your email. We need to talk about this. I cannot be at this event. Next time, plan it with me." Then let her go off. If she says nothing, take a breath and say what you need to say to her. I would suggest something like "I often feel like you act in ways that disrespect me like when you (plan things without me, etc). We are coworkers. We can work together, you just need to talk to me. I hope we can move forward from this next year and have a better year." Then walk away.

You can do this. I promise these things get easier once you learn to stand up for yourself. It doesn't have to be an explosion and you don't have to do it perfectly. You don't deserve to be walked over by people like this.
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Old 05-23-2019, 04:56 AM
 
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Thanks for your encouragement. And you're absolutely right.

She and I will talk face to face next week. I teach in 2 locations.
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