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2grdteachr 2grdteachr is offline
 
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Overbearing Parent Volunteer
Old 08-31-2006, 02:54 PM
 
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This year I have a parent who comes to help with Lunch duty. She comes on tuesdays and thursdays. It was great at first but she started bringing treats everyday and handing them out without consulting me first. The kids behaviour does not always constitute a reward. She has become buddy buddy with all of my students and the students don't want her to leave. It is disruptive when I am trying to go on with our day. Also she came to me gossiping how the first grade teachers supposedly can't teach. In a round about way I told her I am not going to listen to that gossip. We have awesome First Grade teachers. This parents leaves voicemails that go on and on and they don't hardly ever have to do with her child. Any suggestions? She is a stay at home Mom. I know how busy stay at home Mom's are and how hard they work but she seems like she is bored and needy. Any advice on how to handle her in a kind manner? I work at a christian school.


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Old 08-31-2006, 05:24 PM
 
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I also work in a private school, and we have several parents who want to volunteer. Some of them definitely overstep their bounds and become especially comfortable at school. Not that I don't want them to be comfortable, just not TOO comfortable, if you know what I mean. One volunteer gave a visitor permission to go to a teacher's classroom before the visitor checked in at the office.

Is there a policy that your school has regarding bringing treats? If so, you could use that to explain that bringing treats are not allowed. You did the right thing to ignore the gossip. If her voicemails don't require a response, I wouldn't worry about them.

Talk to your principal and see if there is another area where this woman could assist to use up some more of her time. She sounds like she has a lot of extra time, and maybe it would help if her energy were redirected. Moms like this can be very valuable, but they sometimes need specific guidelines on what to do - or in this case, what not to do.
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Old 09-02-2006, 07:41 AM
 
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That's a very touchy situation. My friend had a volunteer who started sending treats EVERY WEEK and the kids were just desensitized to it. It really wasn't good for their classroom, but my friend felt obligated to give things out. She never said anything to that volunteer.

It's still fairly early in the school year. This would be difficult, but maybe you could just talk to her one day and let her know that it's very kind of her, but you would like for her to not bring the treats because it is getting the kids hyped up every day. (You are seeing their behavior change after the treats.) Or you could go from the angle of "let's find a less disruptive time for you".

The bottom line is that she is overstepping her boundries--giving treats to the students, coming every day, talking to you about other teachers. A heart to heart may be the only thing that will work. It will be awkward at first, but eventually you will be glad that you stood up to her. Just imagine what it will be like if you let it go on all year. I wish you the best!
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