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being an only child as an adult
Old 10-30-2009, 02:47 PM
 
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I am an only child. As a child and a young adult, there were many opportunities to connect with others through school & college activities. Now as an adult in the work world it is different. Many people my age closest connections are with their siblings being an aunt or an uncle to their sibling's children. Being an only child is harder as an adult especially as my parents have grown older. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a connection to a person similar in my age besides my spouse.


 


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Old 10-30-2009, 03:27 PM
 
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I'm an only child and I completely agree. I notice people I went to college and cousins of mine are very close with their siblings and nieces and nephews as well. They are always doing something with their siblings/nieces/nephews, and I wish I had that type of family. I don't have any relatives my age that I am close to. I also don't have any close friends or a boyfriend, so its pretty lonely at times. I do have a stepsister(although we never lived with one another) but we have no kind of relationship. I also wish I had a sibling. So when I do have kids I plan to have at least 2. I would want my kids to have siblings. I absolutely hate being an only child.
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:03 PM
 
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I am a 35 year old only child, and I like it. I am close to my grandparents, aunt, and 2 cousins who live in town, but also I'm married and have 2 kids who keep me busy. I honestly can't say I've missed having siblings. My husband and his brother barely get along, and I know many others like this as well.

My parents just recently moved back to town, and it's great. They are in their 60's, but healthy, and I do dread when they will be older and I'll have to take on a lot of decision-making on my own, but they've taken care that I know their wishes, and have it all in legal documents, to help make it all easier on me.

I guess I don't know what advice to give. Sorry you're feeling this way, though.
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:22 PM
 
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I am an only child, too. I don't ever miss not having siblings. Yes, it was difficult having to help care for my dad when he was ill, and it does take some scheduling to get my mom to her appointments. I wouldn't change a thing.

I've always had good friends, and I never had cousins or other family as friends. My friends are honestly more like family than my relatives. My friends and I are older, and about half are married and most have children. It hasn't changed our relationship a whole lot.
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Also and only child
Old 10-30-2009, 08:04 PM
 
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I too feel lonely at times. I also feel that I want at least 2 kids so that they won't have to endure the only child thing. I sometimes cry when I think of the fact that my parents are getting older and they are really all that I have and I am not married and have not kids of my own yet. I have cousins and the like but we are not that close.


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Sibs aren't always close
Old 10-30-2009, 08:23 PM
 
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I have 3 siblings and am not close to any of them. I might as well be an only. I am the one that takes 100% care of my parents in their 80's. I am very grateful for my wonderful husband and kids. I have friends that I am very close to. They are the people that I consider my family.
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I am one of 8
Old 10-31-2009, 12:09 AM
 
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children, but we all live so far away from each other and a have a huge span in ages (the oldest is 30 years older than the youngest) that we really aren't too close. I have only seen my two nephews once, and my kids get all their aunts and uncles confused...... I do talk to my sisters on the phone frequently, but I am honestly closer to many of my friends children. I am really hoping that one of my sisters (the one who is closest to my age) will move back home with her kids so my kids can get to know their cousins, and we can spend more time together. But I don't think this is just an only child thing. I find myself worried that if my parents were to pass away that we would all lose touch with each other (that is how close we are ).
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I am one
Old 10-31-2009, 02:19 AM
 
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of six and always thought we were close but with the passing of my last parent we have fallen away from each other. Long harbored resentments surfaced in one sibling and have caused what may be irrepairable damage to all. I would love to have it the way it was but that doesn't seem possible so I'm trying hard to find the lost closeness with DH's family, and my own distant relatives. Do I still love them? Yes, of course, but siblings can also cause an awful lot of pain.
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only child
Old 10-31-2009, 05:37 AM
 
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I am not. Though I am close to my siblings, but we are all far apart from each other. The other are even oceans apart. Connections we have every now and then. Thru internet,,, But still I feel like you, an only child.
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Old 10-31-2009, 08:38 AM
 
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I am very interested in reading this thread. I have two brothers and we are close (although we don't talk often it is nice knowing they are there). However, my son is an only child. It's not by choice, as we struggle with infertility. It makes me very sad to think that he may grow up and be "alone." Even at 4 years old, he asks constantly for a sibling.
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Old 10-31-2009, 08:51 AM
 
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I am my mom's only child (although on my dad's side I have some half-siblings, but I am not that close to them) and I think about it the most, I guess, at holidays. It's just me, my mom, and aunt/uncle/cousins. That will change once DH and I have kids, I know, but we don't have a huge extended family since both her generation and my generation are on the small side. DH has a HUGE family and it's the complete opposite when they have holiday get-togethers-it's always a very full house, even if we're only doing something with his immediate family.

As far as people to spend time with during the rest of the year, I have friends from work, church, and some old friends from college and even high school.
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Old 10-31-2009, 09:21 AM
 
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I am from a big, extended family (half/steps) so I have a big network. My son is an only, though. So far, he loves it. I do make sure he has a strong connection with his cousins, though (my nieces and nephew), so he feels like a part of a bigger circle with people his own age. He is the oldest cousin, so a bit of a superstar there, lol.

I, too, think it's possible to have siblings and not be close to them, so... Every situation will be different.
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