Conferences are right around the corner, and I am going to need to deliver some bad news in regards to children's behavior and how it interferes with their learning. Up to this point, I have not contacted the parents. (past experience has proved this to be a blame game on me, and a lot of hassle)

Instead of being blunt, should I pick 2 areas to focus on even though they are across the board not meeting expectations. (Behavior only)

As a parent, I would want to know. It seems that in third grade we are the ones to bring problems to the parents attention, even though it was an issue the previous year (teachers "overlooked" things). I want students to be successful and that is why I report issues. I don't want to upset parents, but I also don't want to sugar coat the issues.

Report 2 important issues or all?

[1956BD]

perhaps about their academic strengths. Then present their issues in order of importance. Discuss the biggest issues first. If they are receptive and want to really help their child, go ahead and tell them everything. If they are in denial, it will probably be better to just just present the two biggest problems. Then ask for their help in how to resolve these issues so their child can be more successful in the classroom. If they will help to set these goals you will be on the road to recovery. Have some ideas in mind. Maybe a contract of some sort would be helpful. Good luck!

[teach4ever]

I love 1956BD's answer. You might also consider adding, "I thought about contacting you before conferences regarding this issue, but I was hopeful it would rectify itself. Unfortunately, the behavior hasn't gotten any better." This small comment could help cover yourself.

Please take this in the best way possible, but in the future, please consider contacting the parents before conferences. I generally think if it is "bad" enough to talk about at conferences, then the situation should have been addressed before months of school has gone by - unless it is a recent situation, of course.

Good luck with your conferences!

[pennyannie]

This may or may not help with this problem but while having 2 students' conference this year, I suggested to the parents that I keep a clipboard where I write down specific behaviors observed. I am not writing down what another child reports but only what another teacher or I see or hear. This report may be sent daily or weekly (whatever is decided at the conference). I always keep a copy for myself.

[1956BD]

so parents are aware of behavior constantly. I fill it out quickly each afternoon while they are writing down homework and getting packed to go home. This might be helpful to you as well.

[candygirl]

Does your class go to specials - PE, Music, Computer, etc. and are they seeing this kind of behavior from these students in their class as well? How about playground and lunchroom behavior? Documentation from others outside the classroom is very helpful! Good luck!

[bubbub]

Our county has an interim report that we can send out to parents about half-way through a marking period. Our grade created our own for reading and math. It includes wording from the report card as well as information about behavior that we can mark as satisfactory or needs improvement. There is also a place to ask for a conference to follow up on your concerns and to write a comment. All children get the interims the first quarter and in subsequent quarters as needed. The parents are aware they are used at our school. It is a great way to communicate with all parents so they will not be surprised at report card time or on conference day. It is important to start you conference about behavior with a positive comment about the student. Then I tell the parents I have concerns about how certain behaviors may affect their child's progress. Have an example or two of ways you would like to help their child be more successful and ask for their input or suggestions. I have found that involving the parents and working as a team for the good of the student helps bring about a good working relationship and positive results.
Good luck!