I recently received a letter from a parent regarding getting extra work for her son and questioning my policies. Lately, every parent seems to have "an issue." I've gotten to the point that I literally want to say, "Must I do everything for your child? Aren't you the parent?!"

Tonight I'm thinking of what else can I do with my life. I can't imagine another 20+ years of all of this nonsense. Parents expect us to fix everything.

How can I let all of these things stop bothering me so much?! Every little slight is affecting me. How can I "let it go?"

[teach2all]

if I have one more parent write me note telling me to make sure their child brings home their "reading log, reading book, jacket, lunch box, assignment book....etc" I will scream. I only remind them everyday at least 10 times that they need to pack up the following.... I will not pack it up for them or check their desk or bookbag to make sure they did pack it up.

[BigwigRabbit]

It's not so easy, but doable. First, you must be extremely confident in your abilities as a teacher. You must be confident that you give 100% and there is very little else you can do. You strive to better yourself and you care. Then, whenever you're attacked, it is a false attack. You have the moral high ground, and you can stand there and fight. Next, you need a bit of courage. Remember what Frederich Nietzsche said, "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger." (Or some such.) Armed with the knowledge that you are right, and that there is really nothing that can be done to really hurt you, then you can fight back. Tell the parent that they are out of line. Tell them that you'll not put up with their tomfoolery. Do this, come what may. With this attitude, a "come what may" attitude, you'll find you will not be challenged. Works for me.

I have many times told administrators that I will do as I see fit regardless of their ridiculous edicts. When they say, "You'll get in trouble," I say, "I don't care." I mean it and they know it. I haven't been written up for a few years now. Those times I was written up, well, they didn't hurt much.

[TommysMommy]

In my former life, the life before teaching, that is, I thought going into a really nitty-gritty form of law practice would've been a nice fit. Maybe accounting, but I hate Excel so much that I doubt I'd be happy for long.

My point...

At the beginning of the year, I make a newsletter with a pamphlet for the parents to read over and sign. It is written in English and Spanish. I detail every single policy and rule I have. One of them is that the student is responsible for writing down their homework on their homework log and brining it home every day, among other responsibilities that belong to the STUDENT. The parent must sign it. I also list every possible way they can get in touch with me, so if they disagree with something, they can contact me before they sign. Not once has any parent every complained about my policy until I actually put it into effect.

A parent with a concern I can handle.

An angry, foaming, "You aren't doing YOUR job" parent is another kettle of fish.

I calmly go to my trusty file cabinet and retrieve the document they signed. I read my policy to them and allow them to look at it. Some say, "I've never seen that before." I show them the little X_________ and ask if it is their signature. Nine times out of ten, they back down at once. They have been defeated and deflated. The one time of ten is usually an issue of forgery, which opens up a very interesting and unexpected dialogue. If the parents' goal was to try to make me look bad or bully me, I've just taken the wind out of their sails. I was calm and prepared for them and that is the best defense, always.

I'm not sure what goes on in the minds of some parents, but I honestly try to believe that they mean well. I see so many apathetic, uninvolved parents, that when I meet the polar opposite, I try to turn the negative into the positive as much as possible. Sometimes it doesn't work, and I have to remind myself that my personality, policies, and methods may not be ideal for everyone. That's fine, but unless they request a transfer, they're stuck with me. Muahahahaha.

I have only a few years left before retiring-but I am so bored! Teaching is no longer a challenge or enjoyable career. Can't quit because my area is very specified. The thought of getting through the next few years is painful. If I were wealthy I would love doing some other jobs I did before going to college and becoming a teacher-but they won't pay the bills or even offer any kind of living. And NO I do not plan to go back to school-I am already well-educated well above what is required. Maybe I can win the lottery!!!!????
I do not expect a response-I just needed to say this. WAAAAWAAAA!!!

[Quatro]

I love the policy in advance. Maybe you could do that at quarter break.

[girllovesmath]

I have a mantra about letting things roll off...

"I can't control what you do, I can only control what I do."

I actually heard it on The Office (Andy said it after returning from anger management) but for some reason it helps me calm down if I'm upset about a parent, co-worker, student, etc. that is getting on my nerves. Its a first step in the right direction at least.

I sort of had the same situation one year. I had tons of parents expecting me to move mountains.

I finally started to send home biweekly classroom newsletters. Attached, I had articles on how parents can help at home. In each article, it explained how learning should not stop at school, and how parents have a responsibility to "teach" their children as well. It included activites that ranged from 10 minutes to 30, and tips/pointers for them.

I had nothing but positive responses from parents. It did take a few weeks before I actually started seeing a decline in complaints about me not being able "do it all" for them.

Yes, this was adding extra work for me, but in return I had less stress from parents. To this day, I still do them, but now they are monthly.

Look online for printable articles you can use.

I found in order to let things roll off your shoulders, I think you just need to get to that breaking point. I hope things work out for you.