Students who throw fits

I ♥ cats · 01:24 PM

I'm talking about screaming, crying, on-the-floor fits when a child doesn't get her way or gets frustrated...a total meltdown. This is a 2nd grader. How do you handle this? I've mostly been ignoring and encouraging my class to do the same, which they do a pretty good job with. Our guidance counselor is involved and probably soon social services may be, too, but in the meantime I need suggestions for helping this child and for helping me not to lose my mind! TIA!

tmar · **Fits** 11-17-2009, 03:05 PM

We just call the office and have an administrator come down and remove the child. You can't teach and the other students can't learn in that environment. I give the child a specified time to get control and if they can't they're out. If you're calling 2 or 3 times a day, then that's just ammunition to support needing more intervention for the child. If you're just dealing with it, the child will continue and your admin won't be able to prove the seriousness of it.

garnet · **fits** 11-17-2009, 03:18 PM

If he/she is able to remove themselves I have them do that. Then later when they are calmed down, we have a talk---you know the usual bit about not age appropriate, etc. He/she then loses part of recess for being so disruptive. We have an ongoing dialogue about this type of behavior and how to behave when you don't get your way. I reward the positive behavior too in anyway appropriate for your classroom.

Yes, mine was seeing the social worker and now that he has moved up a grade this behavior has disappeared except for a bit of head rearing early in the year.

luv2chat · **dealing with melt downs** 11-17-2009, 04:47 PM

First I would be documenting them, also be sure to include what happened preceding the melt down. This might help to give you more clues as to why they are happening and therefore allow you to prevent them or get the child support if that is what is needed. A functional behavior assessment would be useful if these are happening on a daily basis.

When the actual melt down is occurring there really isn't much you can do once a child is at that point. I would reassure the child that you will be available to talk to them when they are done, make sure they are in a safe place, then ignore as much as is possible. During a melt down is not a time to try and talk to or reason with a child. Most are beyond reasoning at that point. When they are calm is the time to talk about melt downs (not right after one either). I find if I talk to a child about them at a different time I can often get some insight into why they are happening and I can teach the child some skills to cope with their overwhelming feelings and safe ways to melt down.

I have a little girl this year who is autistic (very high functioning though) and she melts down at times. We have talked about safe places to melt down. She now has a safe place to go to when she needs to melt down so that it doesn't disturb the whole class and she isn't taking off. We practice going to the safe place when she isn't upset (for her it's by her coat hook right outside the classroom) so that when she is upset she goes their without having to think about it. We also talk about how to rejoin the class after a melt down. I try not to make a big deal about meltdowns in front of the other kids as I don't want the child to be teased or ostracized by their peers.

As for helping yourself deal with meltdowns, these are some tips I used to give parents/teachers of children with bipolar disorder (you may find some of them helpful);

don't take it personally (even if the child is saying horrible things they don't mean it, we call it verbal vomit - the child often isn't really aware of what their saying)
stay calm and use low expressed emotion (don't raise your voice, use neutral facial expressions)
don't over talk - give direction once then leave
the child alone
remember that the child is unable to be rational or be reasoned with during a meltdown (their brain is functioning on the most basic of levels and higher level reasoning is not possible at this point)
kids don't want to melt down, it's not done on purpose (even if it some times appears that way). Usually it is because they are overwhelmed or don't have the skills to deal with their feelings or emotions.
when it's over reconnect with the child. Let them know you still love them and you are going to help them learn to cope with their feelings so meltdowns won't happen so much.
try to be empathetic and understanding. It's tough being a kid who meltsdown. It's embarrassing and scary to feel that out of control.

HTH

I ♥ cats · 11-17-2009, 06:13 PM

Thank you everyone. All this is helpful. What makes this situation hard is that this little girl is not diagnosed special ed (and I don't think she is), not autistic or anything, and is very bright. I think she has learned that tantrums help her get her way, maybe at home. It's not working at school and she doesn't get why! Second grade is way too old to be acting this way though, so we've got to help her get some coping skills.