I am haveing a problem with my class they are constantly arguing or fighting with each other and whinning when someone so much as breaths towards them. Does anyone have any ideas to help me change this atmosphere in my class it is driving me crazy. I feel like I spend most of my days breaking up arguments. I need any suggestions.
you can find. See if you can talk about the characters and qualities that make them unappealing as friends. Teach them " Sally, it hurts my feelings when you say .... and I want you to stop" Then when they come to tattle, ask them if they have used their I messages and explained the problem to their friend. I really have no idea if it settles the fighting between them, but it sure cuts down on the tattling! I've never tried it, but some keep a tattle tales box, so when they're frustrated with someone, they can go write and put a note in the box. Others just have a plant, tried that but I'm not a green thumb...(or did it die from all the tattling?). Good Luck.
I was tired of all the negativity towards eachother in my classroom as well. I decided to have the class make "kindness chains."
I cut plain white paper into strips about 1 1/2 inches wide. Then I gave each student one for each of their classmates, plus one for me. Each student had to write something nice about each of their classmates on the strips. I wrote one for each student as well, and they wrote one for me.
Then we went through the students one at a time, I collected the strips and we read them aloud, talking about the positive things everyone had to say. After we had gone through all of the students, I gave them the strips that their classmates had written about them and they glued them into interlocking rings to make a chain.
I plan to hang them from the ceiling in my classroom when I get time! It seems to have worked some, they were all trying to be nicer to eachother, saying "Please" and "Thank You" and sharing more. Once they are up, we will have a visual reminder that there are positive things about EVERYONE in our classroom.
I put some examples on the board for those who were having trouble coming up with things to write. We wrote things like:
__________ is a good reader.
__________ is good at sports.
__________ always shares.
__________ is always polite.
__________ is very respectful.
__________ is a good sport.
__________ is a good listener.
__________ is a good singer.
__________ makes me laugh.
etc...
I told them they weren't allowed to say things like:
_________ is nice.
_________ is fun.
_________ is good.
I like the chain idea from GaKinder9. I am going to do that and then drape the chain from my clothesline in my room. I will use pink and white for Valentine's Day. Thanks!
In reality it wasn't EVERYONE, but I was turning sour on the whole class and could tell the whiners and complainers were impacting all of us. I laid down the law and said I only wanted to hear about serious issues--like those involving danger or physical damage. I singled out three of the main culprits and gave each one a spiral notebook. They had to write their complaints down and I would read them later. This meant they had to decide if the issue was worth the time and effort to write. I always wrote a response to them at the end of the day, acknowledging their feelings, but also calling out some of their own culpability. It took a while, but things did improve!
This our schools third year after being trained as a school in Capturing Kids Hearts. I have to say that the insults and hurtful remarks have been drastically reduced.
it's important to remember that this is really normal for 2nd graders and not let it frustrate you too much.
here's what the experts say:
Friendships
"Seven-year-old playmates tend to have frequent fights and arguments. Hard feelings are rarely permanent, so parents shouldn't stress too much. It's best to separate them when they fight. Let everyone withdraw to themselves and come back together tomorrow.
Part of the problem with seven-year-old friendships is the shift from role-taking to rule-based play. They are sorting out a pecking order and conflicts are a natural result. Though this is a natural human phenomenon, it can get ugly; so seven's play should be supervised to prevent bullying and physical or emotional harm.
Because sevens can't play together without fighting, a good strategy is to involve them in adult-led, organized play activities, such as sports, Scouts, or a community center such as Boys & Girls Club or YWCA/YMCA. Another strategy is to let them play in pairs. Two sevens always play better than three.
Friendships will progress in the next few years; but for now, seven is a transition time in peer relationships. This year, a balance between organized and solitary play will help them through this transition."
Because small spats and arguments are such a natural part of being a second grader, in our classroom, we work on "moving on." Someone hurt your feelings, have a quick conversation, and move on. Sometimes the bigger we blow things our of proportion, the more we feed into it.
Capturing Kids Heart is a wonderful program designed by a man named Flip Flippen. The CKH has many models to follow so your classroom can make use of a lot of self-management tools. At the beginning of the year we discuss in each classroom how we want to be treated by each other, how the teacher wants to be treated, and how we want to be treated by the teacher. We then draw up a social contract that we all sign and hold each other accountable to. There is so much more to the program--affirmations, greetings, modeling, etc. but the social contract is the best thing for the classroom! I would encourage you to seek more information---there are trainers all over the country that can come to your school or through your local school district teacher training seminars.
02-01-2010, 03:49 PM
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