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Thesis Statement 1920's
Old 04-29-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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My son has submitted four thesis statements about technology and science in the 1920's and has been rejected four times for being too broad. Medicine is not a choice.

Any ideas? I'm not a SS buff


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Old 04-29-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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_______________ 's (name of person) invention/discovery/advancement (choose one) of _____________________ was a major reason for (fewer deaths, better nutrition, increased production, improved communication etc.)

In mid-20th century, Jonas Salk's discovery of a vaccination that prevented polio, was possibly the most important major medical advancement in the battle against major diseases.

Google nobel science winners for potential topics.
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How is this?
Old 04-29-2010, 04:05 PM
 
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This is a project he is doing after reading the Great Gatsby and has to write a research paper on science and technology from the 1920's and can not include medicine. He is thinking-

The 1920ís brought with it many inventions. Radio, television, and movies has given the nation a common language and continues to improve communication throughout history.
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still broad
Old 04-29-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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That's a good start, but it needs to be narrowed down; maybe change it to:

The 1920's brought with it many advancements in communication, the most important of which was in radio broadcasting.

(Your original thesis statement has radio, TV, and moving pictures INVENTED in the 20's - they weren't.)

This makes it a true thesis because "most important" is arguable and should be proved.

Then he could create sub-topic statements and later develop them into paragraphs: researched data as to the number of radios in homes in 1920 versus 1930, the number and type of radio stations that developed (I think you'll find that's when regularly scheduled programs started.), the effect it had on bringing news to people in remote areas of the country, the effect (if any) on elections - especially presidential. What jobs were created by the increase. How did that hurt or help the economy? How did language and dialects affect what was broadcast? etc.
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thank you so much!
Old 05-01-2010, 06:24 AM
 
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I had him write three and included your suggestion and submit Friday morning-She passed on your suggestion

She liked this one:
Invention of the radio and films during the 1920's impacted the way we communicate now and in the future.

But she revised:

The invention of radio and films during the 1920's advanced communication and changed use of leisure time in America.


I was frustrated that the students are doing a research in school project and began April 16. She sent me an email Thursday (4/29)that she had not approved Steve's thesis and the rough draft is due Monday. He submitted three previously and she did not approve them. Where was the guidance and assistance for the nine days? She wrote that he was not on task in the media center doing research. What was he supposed to doing with no topic?

Any idea on how to organize sub-topic statements to develop? Our weekend is ruined since this rough draft is due Monday.


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correction
Old 05-01-2010, 08:17 AM
 
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First - it seems from what you write it's actually a REPORT not a thesis that he is to write. Very different. He doesn't need to have a thesis statement, which might explain her rejection. He only needs a topic statement.

Second - motion pictures (I think you'll find that term better fits a report) and radio were NOT invented in the 1920's. I believe I already mentioned that. Motion pictures WITH SOUND was. And regularly scheduled radio programs were started then too. I've had a lot of students write about that while I was teaching Gatsby.

And further, I can't begin to guess what went on in the library, but looking into books on the topic of motion pictures or films would certainly have given some more ideas about refining his topic. And he would have learned that neither of those inventions occurred in the '20's.

As for sub-topics. Either get to the library or google the topic, and see what information is available. As a sophomore (I assume, but maybe a junior) he should be able to create three categories of information, perhaps (off the top of my head): status of the product at the advent of the '20's, who invented what, and statistics (put into interesting reading format) about the viewing habits of people since that invention.

But most importantly - start the research. It is not necessary to have a topic statement finalized before research. In fact, many would change their topic statement as they read and learned.
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Thank you.
Old 05-01-2010, 10:42 AM
 
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To clarify -The teacher created a thesis statement for him after he submitted four yesterday morning. Her thesis statement includes, "invention of radio and films during the 1920's impacted..", so I guess we'll go with that and not argue at this late stage in the game.

Early on, Steve received a 7 page packet about writing a thesis statement which included subtitles:
Thesis characteristics
Where to put the thesis
Put the thesis as a statement
Shape your thesis
How to cite sources for your thesis

He was not to begin writing until she approved his thesis statement for science and inventions, not including music, cars, and medicine. May be that was what he was stuck on report vs. thesis.

Yes, he is a sophmore reading The Great Gatsby. I just wish she had helped him revise the three he turned in prior to yesterday, so he had an idea of what path he should take during the research.

Thank for your input and support. He is diligently researching as I type this!
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Old 05-01-2010, 10:52 AM
 
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You had no way of knowing I was laughing as I read your note. With you!!! - not at you. Four kids had to suffer through their mother being an English teacher and they got no sympathy. And did it end when they got to college? Oh, my no. The emails flew, and always last minute - well, mostly, my middle daughter tended to be more timely than the others.

Hang in there. We do survive our children.
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