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Jealous Stepmom
Old 05-21-2010, 09:02 AM
 
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I am so tired of how insecure and jealous my stepmom is. I've known my stepmom since I was 10 years old, and everything has been a competition to her. I don't see why it has to be that way. I am not a competitive person at all. But she has to be a "better mother" than my mom. She has to brag about how she cooks better than my mom, yet she's never even had any of my mom's cooking. But the main source of conflict is that my stepmom has a daughter my age(34) and Stepmom has always been jealous of my successes in life because of her daughter's lack of them. Stepsis never was good at school. But she's done alright for herself. She eventually went to a trade school and got a decent paying job. Just to name a few things Stepmom has gotten jealous of -that I made honor roll in high school, that I was saludatorian of my High School, and that I graduated high school on time(her daughter failed her senior year), and that I went and graduated from college with Honors. I feel like I have tip toe around her cause she gets so jealous of my life cause her daughter hasn't had many of those things. Now in my adult years I have married and had 2 kids(ages 1 and 3) whereas my stepsister hasn't. And suprise surprise my Stepmom is jealous of that too cause her daughter is single. I hate feeling like I shouldn't be proud of my success and special events in my life just cause my stepsister hasn't had these things and that my Stepmom gets jealous of these things. Its more that I am afraid I'll upset my stepmom by being happy and talking about these things.

Funny thing though, Dad is total opposite from his wife. He's always been there for my special events in my life and has always been very excited about them. My stepmom has only recently started coming to things. First event she came to in my life was my wedding (when I was 29), and she had been invited to plenty before that. Before that she didn't come to anything cause of her jealousy because it wasn't HER daughter in the spotlight. Who knows maybe Dad & Stepmom got into an argument about that. I've just learned that Stepmom is not someone I can really have a strong relationship with because of her extreme jealousy.


 


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Old 05-21-2010, 12:29 PM
 
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The green-eyed monster knows no boundaries. I have this problem with my full-blood sister. No advice, just a sympathetic ear. You won't change her, you'll just have to live with it I'm afraid.
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Old 05-21-2010, 12:48 PM
 
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I am sorry for your situation. It seems that you are willing to develop a relationship (or have been willing). You are probably very right that your stepmom is jealous or insecure.

I guess you can only accpet her for who she is and not expect any different. Maybe one day (hopefully soon) she will realize what she is missing.
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Old 05-21-2010, 07:42 PM
 
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I say stop tiptoing (sp?) around her. This is clearly her problem, not yours. Be yourself, be happy, and be proud. Obviously your dad is proud of you and I bet would support you if she wanted to start any drama. Maybe you should have a private heart to heart with him and let him know this has been bothering you. Perhaps he has some advice for "handling" stepmom.

Try dropping little sincere compliments about your stepsister in front of your stepmom. Your statement that she has done alright for herself seems to me to suggest you respect her and the choices she has made for herself. Different does not equal better or worse, and maybe if you make it clear that you don't consider yourself better than stepsis, stepmom will chill out.
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