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Sick of rude hateful disrespectful students
Old 05-21-2010, 08:04 PM
 
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Seriously -- I think we have an epidemic going on in education today. It is ridiculous that in 1st grade I have students who scream at me, kick things, yell in other students faces, or flat out refuse to do what you've said. Growing up I can't remember a time a student did any of this to a teacher and I grew up in the 70's and 80's & attended public school. We had students who didn't like school and got bad grades or were occasionally sarcastic but not like now... not screaming at teachers at the age of 6 and throwing serious anger tantrums.

The anger and definance I've seen this year particularly with young African American boys is truly frightening. These are really angry kids. I try so hard to talk to the parents to get them involved in finding solutions but all I get are excuses for the behavior but no real effort to want to change it (not all but a large majority). Medications are not refillled, behavior logs go unsigned, notes are ignored, I truly hate to think about where these kids are headed. It is a scary thought.

It just got me thinking why? Why is this happening? Why are these young people so mad? I've even tried to ask them and they don't seem to know or can't express it. Something as simple as a wrong look in thier direction can set them off - today one screamed out loud "he better stop looking at me cause I ain't playing that - I'll smack him in his face". I mean jesus. Smack him for looking at him? Seriously. Another one balls his hands up in fists and slams things down when frustrated. It's just so sad.

Today I got so angry with them I just wanted to scream right back and I know that's not being adult about it but I'm so tired of dealing with the constant conflict and drama - nothing has worked and now that the last week is here I'm just like whatever.. I tried. now I'm beat down and tired. I don't have solutions, counselor doesn't, principal doesn't.. it's all so frustrating


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Old 05-21-2010, 09:04 PM
 
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That is a wearing and tiring experience. I think the anger at our unequal society is shown through the schools. I no longer work in an environment where a huge percentage of the class has serious anger management problems. I worked in fifth which is easier than the younger grades in those schools; but I remember how the little ones would take out their teachers every year. We had horrible turn over in Kindergarten, first, and second (all the teachers who were not teaching bilingual classes some years).
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:06 PM
 
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I totally agree. I teach Kinder and I when I tell my family about situations that occur regularly, they are floored. These students a physically and verbally abusive towards one another and adults. Before teaching Kinder, I didn't understand how or why children in kinder get suspended. I NOW understand why. This is completely insane!
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sad situation
Old 05-22-2010, 05:41 AM
 
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My daughters class had to go into their emergency lockdown procedure last week because a KINDERGARTENER was throwing tables and chairs and threatening their saftey! WHAT ??? Where are we headed when a 5/6 year old has that much anger and defiance! I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this kind of situation all year.
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Old 05-22-2010, 05:50 AM
 
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I agree excitedteach. I've seen the same thing happen many times. I've had to subdue many a 5 and 6 year old too. I always say, "How mad does a kindergartner have to be to take on a 46 year old man?" Geesh!


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Same problem with my third graders
Old 05-22-2010, 06:04 AM
 
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at least a third of my class is rude and disrespectful.

Day before yesterday a student threw everything out of his desk because I took something away that he was making. Instead of doing his work he took art paper out of the drawer and my tape to try and make something. He knows where everything is stored because they are allowed to use the supplies when we have indoor recess. I started removing everything from his desk area so he would not have anything to throw. He got angrier and started flailing around and hit me with one of his arms. All the well behave children in the room gasped. I was not hurt, but just backed off at this point because he was in complete melt down. This child comes to school each day for his free breakfast and lunch and he thinks the rest of the time is for playing and socializing. He has the worst work ethic of any of my students from the last twenty years. He has no clue that school is for work and learning.

I have several who always have an excuse when they get in trouble. They never take responsibility for their negative actions and choices.

They feel entitled to everything. We have year books at our school. They cost $25. About one third of my class ordered one for themselves. When I passed them out, another third of the class pitched a fit about not receiving one. "Where is mine?" "I want one!" They truly did not understand why I did not have one for them.

Yesterday I invited students who were working hard to select something from my class treasure chest. It is a small suitcase full of goodies, mostly donated by parents. One little girl came to me and said,"There is nothing good in the treasure box, what else you got?"
I almost lost it!!!!

How can we teach or encourage these kids to be grateful, responsible and use good manners? I don't have time to teach those things. I have enough material to cover. They are supposed to be taught at home by parents to be polite and make good choices. However, that is not happening for some of the children, so it becomes my responsibility or I can't teach my other lessons. It is so frustrating.
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Old 05-22-2010, 06:49 AM
 
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The most difficult students at my private school (which is nothing compared to what most of you experience!) have parents who weren't obedient to their parents. It only takes a generation to loose a society.

I understand why teachers are leaving the schools, but I wonder who will take their place? (I'm not placing a guilt trip on anybody who wants to leave, either!)
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I can explain it....
Old 05-22-2010, 09:07 AM
 
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Parents, parents, parents.....Their parents are parents because of their body urges only. Not because they want or even give a care about these children. They use their children to get rid of the garbage in their own souls or to beat down their past pay backs (they were losers in school and use their children as payback). No wonder their children are this way-can you imagine what these students children will be like?
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Old 05-22-2010, 09:58 AM
 
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I agree that the parents are creating monsters. I have a boy in my class whose parents have been disrespectful to me all year. The boy had never been disrespectful to me, but I heard from the school counselor that she had to go to their home to help set up a plan for them because the boy was being disrespectful to them. He was treating them the same way they have always treated his teachers. So after trashing every teacher, bus driver and para he's had for four years, they called the school to ask for help. Go figure.
Anyway, on the last day of school, he said something very disrespectful to the other kids about me. The other kids were trying (at recess) to get everyone together to sing Happy Birthday to me, and he told them that the only thing he would do about my birthday was to destroy it. I let it go. I know where it came from, and it wasn't worth the trouble.
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Tired, Too
Old 05-22-2010, 11:55 AM
 
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My crew (high-poverty, minority) have worn me out, too. It's near the end of the year, but we go past mid-June so I'm not ready to give up. I should say that they also do ADORABLE things at times, as well...automatically sharing with one another, being bff's, and sometimes giving brilliant answers that show that they WERE listening/DID learn something.

Here in Detroit, it's all so heart-breaking. The 17 year-old who was shot after someone accused him of 'looking at him.' Then, a seven year-old was accidentally shot when there was a raid on the house of the shooter of the 17 year-old. The family of the 11 year-old wants to sue about her death on the bus. These are all heart-breaking tragedies -- some intentional, some ACCIDENTS. But when we were kids and we were told to keep our hands (& heads) inside the bus, not throw anything out the window, etc. we thought we really had to do so.

One of our FIRST graders called his (male) teacher a B****. When the other children reported this to the teacher, he pulled the child aside to talk to him and the child said, "Yeah, I called you a B****, what the f*** are you going to do about it?" (And if anyone is wondering, this is a NICE/FIRM/FAIR teacher who DOES know how to manage a classroom.)

Today is Saturday and I'm in my classroom trying desperately to get things cleaned up and orderly. I'm finding containers with lids that have been repeatedly poked (by pencils?), cut-up bits of papers on the floor, filled water bottles in the recycling container, BOOKS in the 'paper' recycling container...I've had enough!

I'm moving the growing plants (due to countless dirt spills or destroyed plants) to the rarely used art room. I'm putting the recycling containers back in the corner. I'm shelving every book and packing up every pair of scissors or bottle of glue. Only the 'gardeners' I select will go near the plants. The 'store' items will be locked up or hung up on the wall 12 feet up. Monday is going to be a new day of a new week. We are NOT done learning. Every second spent on conflicts will be deducted from recess time. That goes for cleaning up time, too! (Yes, I have 30+ hours to calm down before I see them -- that's probably a good thing, too.)
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Old 05-22-2010, 11:58 AM
 
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It is truly frightening. I feel as though 1/3 of my (high-poverty,all minority) 2nd grade class is emotionally disturbed.

-I have 3 children who frequently tantrum (cry hysterically, refuse to move, throw themselves down in the middle of the hall, bang their desks over and over,etc.
-I have had 20 bucks stolen from my purse this year by two other little angels.
-I have another girl who calls me ignorant, tells me to shut up, says "You can't tell me what do", etc
-One of my tantrumers has said "I am going to kill this whole class.I'm gonna start with the good kids" (admin/counselor did nothing)

Its a nightmare really. I have to keep these kiddos' desks in rows bc they are so violent and angry that they cant work/sit together. II have had the paramedics in my room bc one girl grabbed a girls chair and tossed her out of her seat.

And the parents? If they bother to answer the phone when I call, have nothing to say. Their folders arent checked, papers never signed.

Who are these parents and what were they thinking having children?
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Old 05-22-2010, 12:57 PM
 
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The problem is that our inner city families have taught no work ethic, no value of a dollar, etc.
A while back some high school students were talking about not having a near-by movie theater, and I asked them "What are they, themselves, going to do about it?" Their response was that they would "Wait for Obama to do something." I really wanted to say something, but didn't.
The problem is that our students have no clue on what to do unless their is a handout.

This world is getting scary; if you are a conservative or a religious, I believe this in the end times. It will only get bumpy.

I believe if you want to teach, build your OWN schools. There are great nonprofit models which you can glean from, you may not have the salary and benefits.
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parents
Old 05-22-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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PARENTS are the missing link.

How are teachers going to get 100% pass rate on state tests in just a couple of years when they are dealing with all the situations described here- NONE of which has anything to do with their teaching?

It's so easy to blame teachers - paid employees, when they can't perform a miracle by turning these kids around and getting them excited about learning. People who support merit pay should spend a couple of days in the classrooms of some of the previous posters and get a big dose of reality. People who support merit pay should have their head examined, IMO.

I too grew up in the 70s and 80s and there were NEVER kids that behaved like what has been described here. If they didn't want to do their work, they just quietly didn't... they didn't throw chairs and threaten lives. I remember only seeing two fistfights in 12 years of public schooling. Also, the kids that weren't motivated to do work were a very tiny minority. Not so these days. Violent situations like those described above generally don't happen in my school where I am currently employed (probably 3 incidents in the past 4 years), but the number of kids that just aren't motivated is probably about 2/3 of the student body, my class included.

It boggles my mind - how could any parent NOT want their child to grow up to be better than them (drug addict, felon, unemployed by choice, or under-educated due to whatever circumstances...)? How could any parent NOT support a FREE education, where their child likely gets TWO FREE meals a day? I just don't get it. HOW do you NOT support an institution that does THAT MUCH for your child???

All of this makes me realize just how lucky I was to grow up where I did and when I did. Thinking back, my parents said very little to me about how I should behave or how I should approach my work in school. They didn't have to... they lead by example.
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Just imagine Middle School
Old 05-22-2010, 01:56 PM
 
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I deal with the same issues of everyone here, but it is more "enhanced" because it is at a middle school level. I don't know at what age a student learns what is right vs wrong, but I had previously assumed that a 14 year old knew it was wrong to curse, stomp his feet, run around, etc. Also, the lack of self control is amazing. Yes some of it is hormones, but most of it is just a timely excuse for bad behavior.

I am a young teacher and this is my first "real" job. I don't know if it is my school or community (2/3 white, 1/3 minority - nearly all lower-middle class), but I have never encountered so many students who did not care about school. I came my first year wanting everyone to prepare for college, but yikes, did I wake up quickly! While I still work on that with honors kids, I basically have to say "work for a C" in regular classes. Heck, "work for a C" doesn't even happen for 1/4 of my students, who just want to fool around and flaunt their toughness.

BTW I just calculated that 22% of my students are graduating at least 1 year behind appropriate grade level. What do you when you have 16 year olds in 8TH GRADE!?! And to imagine if I worked in very urban or rural areas like some folks on this website . . .
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Runs across the board.
Old 05-22-2010, 02:06 PM
 
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I think many children regardless of ses status or race are rude and disrespectful. It was not like that when I went to school. If my own children ever treated their teachers like that I would have been in the classroom making my children apologize. In my class I have three out of control children with parents who have money. Parents do nothing about it. Although I am not returning to the school I teach at now, I think I may not look for another teaching job. I will go back to nursing. Teachers are not respected by people in this country. SAD becasue what would you be without a teacher.
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These behaviors are widespread and
Old 05-22-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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are not just the AF culture. We see it in our Hispanic culture as well (altho rare if ever w/ asian or vietnamese hmmm) and I believe it is a symptom of what is going on in their home/community. It really has nothing to do w/ school. Of course, there are things in school that trigger the rebel in them as that is their crying out and/or learned behavior and it is what they truly believe they are supposed to do!

JMHO our community is bending over backwards to try to solve these types of issues. In a meeting I had w/ our superintendent (w/ my other job) the other day we were discussing this and I told him flat you - you have GOT to stop throwing money at this problem. The school, the rules, the students flunking out is NOT YOUR FAULT it begins at home and can only be solved at home.

In the course of our meeting it was frustrating us to no end b/c through my other job we are trying to address the issues w/ the home//community and we have a transient community so even when we get programs that help and are wanted going the families move on so quickly we are back to square one in no time!

I have no idea how to find relief. I do think it is sad as I thought my h.s. class was sOOO naughty. I mean the boys used to sometimes roll their eyes, throw a paperwad or two, etc. And now - any teacher might say that was a good day!

sorry I am not much help. What you are dealing w/ is completely out of your control to SOLVE jmho and is a symptom of the culture of the poor. Big hugs to you and keep fighting for those who are trying to learn.
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generational poverty
Old 05-22-2010, 04:53 PM
 
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I was just doing some online research about this. I found some info. by Ruby Payne, who many on here have recommended. I know rude behavior has no economic boundaries but all of this stuff about the looks and fighting from students she says is the hidden rules of the life of poverty. Some interesting stuff, very sad, but food for thought.
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Old 05-22-2010, 05:08 PM
 
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About generational poverty...
That rings true with my experience. I graduated hs in the 70's in a very poor county and much of what you all are describing was happening back then in that area. (I think my county was in the top 10, or whatever, poorest counties in the country.) My college prep classes weren't bad, but once leaving those classes, the halls were rough.

Actions/attitudes spread.
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Yesterday I was called
Old 05-22-2010, 06:48 PM
 
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an old witch! HA! At the end of the day I went to a student's locker to take out his "laundry" which consisted of five hoodies and a winter jacket. He also had another hoodie at his desk. I told him he was to take these home. "No...I don't want to... You went in my locker, you old witch!" What I really want to do is put on a big, black, pointy hat and sit with him Monday while all the others are out for recess! Then I should put it on at bus duty and walk over to the bus his dad drives and say...ask your son what he called me! He is so mouthy--interrupts all the time, we all have had students like him.
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Old 05-23-2010, 06:41 AM
 
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AMEN, BILL!!!!


This is actually word for word what he (Bill Cosby) said to a gathering of students who asked about the bailout in America.

This man deserves the Nobel Prize......


'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.

I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that
kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these
knuckleheads walking around..

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.

$500 sneakers for what?

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2?

Where were you when he was 12?

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?

And where is the father? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of
needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .....

I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.

I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands. The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa. So stop, already! ! !

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ......... and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.

We, as black folks have to do a better job.

Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'
Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed .D.



WELL SAID, BILL
It's NOT about color...

It's about behavior!!!

PASS THIS ON AROUND THE WORLD!
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Old 05-23-2010, 06:56 AM
 
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Your solution made me laugh out loud. I can so see the look of shock on his face as the other kids file out to recess and you pull out your pointy black hat.

Miss V. Swamp would be proud!
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I understand
Old 05-23-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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I understand your frustration, and really feel for you, but be glad you don't have my friend's teenaged daughter! WHEW!
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Old 05-23-2010, 02:54 PM
 
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Yet people wonder why the homeschooling movement is growing so fast. This is not the "socialization" that people want for their kids -- much less the education. I'm so thankful that 13:21:23we live in a country where exiting the system is an option for teachers and for students.
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bill cosby
Old 05-24-2010, 02:52 AM
 
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If I said what bill cosby said, i'd be called a racist. In fact, i have been called a racist (apparently it's a very easy card to play) for an incident that I wasn't even present to witness that took place between two girls of the same race, on the school bus. How that makes the teacher and the principal, who weren't there, a racist is beyond me. One of those girls is the type that Bill Cosby described.. and the other was not. I guess it wouldn't make sense to call the other girl a racist. I'm still scratching my head over this one.
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Old 05-24-2010, 06:21 PM
 
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What a mess. I don't even know where one would start to fix this problem, there are so many issues going on. Parents, unqualified teachers (in certain states), societal changes, standards based education, standardized tests, underfunded schools, very little or no recess, less exploration more memorization, lack of the arts and specials, CEOS RUNNING SCHOOL DISTRICTS, vouchers and charters taking money from the main public schools, a crappy economy, resegregation, high rates of teen pregnancy.... i just dont even know where to begin. there is no root of the problem. its so much bigger than that.
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Old 05-25-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Yet people wonder why the homeschooling movement is growing so fast...I'm so thankful that we live in a country where exiting the system is an option for teachers and for students.
This country has the most educational freedom in the world. Parents are going to jail in other countries because they want to homeschool their own children. A few years ago, I coauthored an article which has been translated into Spanish for those in Mexico who are trying to escape the madness there.
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I have the ANSWER
Old 05-26-2010, 02:40 PM
 
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The children are not the problem. The problem is the government. I'm not sure why all of you smart teachers out there dont understand what is happening here. It is very simple. They are a product of the New World Order and this is the result you get. These children have been subjected to endless propaganda on every major network... that promote witchcraft and black magic. They come home every day to a home with no food to eat, no parent to watch them or care for them or love them. Their parents can not get work and yes racism is still alive. These are not stupid people who wont work...they are a product of the history they have been subjected to all these years. They dont care what YOU say about racism doesn't exist anymore. THEY know it does. And quite honestly YOU do too. So the parents instill from birth the "fight back" and "don't take nothing from nobody" mentality, why... because they have no respect for authority. It has now become a built in defense mechanism that is taught and expected by their parents from birth. I guess so history doesn't repeat itself. The thing is these kids are mad...they know something is not right with the world. Times are changing and you teachers better pay close attention to what "information" or "lessons" the government is having you pass onto these youngsters. You may even need to re-learneveryting you learned about history and what the true meaning of the word I heard so much in college REALLY means "globalization"...yeah we learned all about this in college. Every single class I went PUSHED his ida on us...and where has that led our country..."One World Government" led by the elite of the world like the Rothchilds, Rockefellars, Council on Foreign Relations, UN ,the private FED, and these huge banks that are going to end America's sovergnity and destroy our Constitution. These kids are a product of this master plan to distract youfrom real world evnts so you SMART, INTELLIGENT teachers go home exhausted everynight and do not have any clue of the bills being signed in congress to stip us of our rights granted by our founding fathers. We have been warned by great men of the past this was coming, but those men were silenced. Its time to wake up AMERICAN TEACHERS. Do YOUR homework and get the facts of what is really happening to our country. The children already sense smething is REALLLY messed up. They are NOT the problem. We must take our country back from these BANKS and bail out ourselves before AMERICA is a police state and we all get thrown into FEMA camps for not accepting their Verichip implants to buy food. These huge banks and elite are meeting next week at their Bilderberg convention to plan their next step to opening our borders and single handedly devaluing every single nations currency, so they can implement their next phase, to start a world goverment and one world currency. Come on people this is no coincidence. Do not let them fighten you with their LIES about our security...they are lying in order to pass these bills to take our rights away. JUST READ the executive orders for yourself. We have given the Federal Government the right to seize control over everything, our land, our farms, and our freedom. All they are waiting for is the "perfect crisis" in order to enact Marshall Law then YOU when you are dragged out of your little comfty home and innocculated at a FEMA camp....maybe, just maybe you will feel the plight of the young angry African American child.
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Old 05-26-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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Quote:
The children are not the problem. The problem is the government.
I understand what you're saying, but please don't think we're all just a bunch of idiots. (Are you a troll?)

Our gov't isn't an artificial organism. It's made up of PARENTS. It's made up of real people who have an agenda, as do I. I, also, think our country is going to he** in a hand basket.
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I got your treasure right here
Old 12-07-2011, 04:13 PM
 
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If a child said to me, "There is nothing good in the treasure box, what else you got?" I would tear off ONE post-it note from my pad and hand it to her.
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be wary
Old 12-13-2012, 11:46 AM
 
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Most of Ruby Paine's "esteemed" research has been found to be inaccurate, be careful when referring to this research.
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Old 03-19-2014, 12:30 PM
 
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The problem in my district is that they WON'T suspend that age group. We have K and 1st graders that run around the building ALL day! The administration just follows them slowly around keeping an eye on them. They scream down the hallways, bang on classroom doors during instruction, cuss out anyone who stands in their way, and will kick, bite, and hit. Yet, they are at school the very next day. Admin and counselor says that the child "wants" to be suspended and go home, so they are not going to give them what they want. When are we going to start putting the responsibility back on the parents to do THEIR job??? There are other students that are in class to learn and WANT to learn but have to deal with the constant disruptions. Our hands as teachers are tied. It is very discouraging.
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It's all so ridiculous!
Old 08-05-2014, 06:28 PM
 
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I left the public school system because it was so out of control! I am now in a safe charter school and any student who is disrespectful or doesn't want to be there is kicked out! You would be surprised how much better the students behave when the parents realize another student would love that seat! Unfortunately the majority of the discipline problems in public school were the black students.
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