So DD will be 17 in a couple of weeks and will be a senior when school starts next week. She asked me tonight if she could stop having a "bedtime" when school starts. Usually we ask her to be in bed by 10, unless she had an evening activity and is still working on homework at 10. She says that all of her friends her age don't have a bedtime. She promises she wouldn't be up till 2 AM or anything, but she wants the freedom to go to bed at her own time of choice. I haven't had a chance to discuss this with DH since he's already in bed. What do you all think? Do your older high schoolers have a bedtime?
I don't think that I've had a bedtime since middle school. Once highschool started and the workload increased, I simply stayed up to finish what I needed for the next day and then went to bed. Of course, I was always respectful of family members who might have gone to bed earlier. I would think that she doesn't need a bedtime anymore. There certainly wasn't one in college.
My son will be a sophomore and he hasn't had a "bed time" in years. He's pretty good about going to sleep at a decent time; sometimes he stays up and reads, other times he goes right to sleep. I trust his judgment on that.
I think HS is kind of old to have a bedtime. I don't remember having one in HS growing up, though I shared my room with a younger sister, so was probably expected to have the lights off at a fairly early hour.
I didnt have a bedtime at that age. I think it was a good thing and I was able to decide for myself when I needed to be in bed. Some nights it was super early other times it would be nice to stay up and read or whatever. I think you should let her choose, it if becomes a problem then you can reinforce a time
I didn't have a set bedtime for my DS when he was in HS, but when he would go out on school nights he had to be in by 9:00 if he was just "hanging out" and not at a school function, and by midnight on weekends (as a senior.) As long as he was able to get up for school without any trouble, I left bedtime up to him.
I think as long as she is getting decent grades and getting herself up and ready for school in the morning, she should be able to choose what time she goes to bed at her age. She will most likely be going off to college in a year and she needs to learn how to manage her time and be responsible for her choices. If her grades slip or she has trouble getting up in the morning for school, then I would consider a bedtime.
I sort of gave up on the bed time thing when my sons reached high school for a couple of reasons. As those of you with athletic kids know, practices are sometimes crazy long. By the time they got home, showered, ate & did homework they didn't need anyone to tell them to go to bed ~ they were tired. Unless, of course, a Pacer game or something was on.
My 2 older kids had a very loose bedtime at that age. Usually they would put themselves to bed when they were tired. Occassionally they would have to be reminded to go to bed, but as long as they could get up in the morning without a fuss, they didn't have a bedtime. It worked well for us.
or a curfew at that age. (but i was a very innocent young lady!) ...as far as they knew... i had a job as "assistant night manager" at a restaurant. everyone else left but me and the dishwasher (another high school kid, usually), and i dropped the cash in the safe and locked up. i would get out of there around 10:30.
my parents trusted me, i guess, and i didn't have issues with grades
No bedtime by that time for me either, and my own kids aren't that old yet...
I would agree that she's old enough to monitor her own bedtime. After all, next year, if she's away for college, she'll be monitoring all her own behaviors. It has to start sometime, and what better time than while she's still at home?
I didn't have a bedtime at that age, but I would always try to be in bed between 11:30 and 12:30 at the latest. However, I was at a school that had a lot of homework, especially math homework...that took hours and I had sports....so that's why I stayed up later. Occassionally, I would end up staying up til 2 am to finish an honors English essay!..like during finals week. My family is naturally night owls, and even when I would go to bed sometimes, I could not sleep!...I'm a bit of an insomniac.
As a high school teacher, I can not believe how many of my students get inadequate sleep. We start school at 7:45. Our buses unload at 7:10. That means kids are getting on their bus as early as 6am! Kids are getting up at 5am and not getting to bed until late. I have kids in a coma first thing in the morning and acting out, out of tiredness or trying to sleep in the afternoon. They tell me they don't get to sleep until 11 or later. This is not good for the teenage body.
I would have to Google it to get the accurate information, but teens need more sleep than adults. Their bodies and brains are still growing. I think it is 9 - 11 hours sleep recommended. (Maybe it is more important for early teens - I'm not sure).
Anyway, if your DD decides her own bedtime, I would make sure she is still getting enough sleep.
I'm not a sleep expert, just a frustrated observer.
I didn't read the other replies, I'm sorry if I repeat others.
I have non-negotiables: smoking, drugs, drinking, sex, church attrndance, homework. On theses, it is my way, period.
Then I have the leash-law. This means I will give you just enough leash for you to hang yourself, and then will jerk it back and hard if I need to. If staying up to whenever does not affect the non-negotiables, then I wouldn't make a big deal of it. If I get notified that you are falling asleep in class, then you get to go to bed 30 minutes earlier every time it happens (had to do this with one DS in 10th grade).
My DD is also entering her senior year and she hasn't had a bed time in a couple of years. That's one area that we let her control. She usually stays up close to 11:00 but then there are nights that her light is off at 9.
I let my sons choose their own bedtimes in high school- with the rule that if they weren't able to get up for school in the morning, then they would go to bed earlier that night. My youngest will be a senior this year and has never had to go to bed earlier. He knows when he is tired. However, I have witnessed him writing papers, completing hw until 1 a.m. especially during the weeks of drama practice. He is able to maintain his grades, be active in hs clubs, band, and drama so I think he is doing ok!
I agree that a curfew should be a must! However, bedtime is something kids should learn to set for themselves. I might add, though, that when we were growing up, we didn't have cell phones or ipods. I would make sure that she knows the value and importance of sleep. If she starts to take advantage, I would say something or set up a rule about ipod/cell phone/computer/tv or whatever it is. Those things can be quite addicting for teenagers. Just a thought... I'm probably the only one who would actually say this, but just think about it!
I did not have a curfew or a bedtime at that age. My mom stopped giving me a curfew when I was 17 and no bedtime at 13. I HAD to go to school, no exceptions unless I was throwing up. At first I stayed up all night, then I realized how miserable I would be if I didn't go to bed at a decent hour. I think it really helped me prepare for the college years.
A: Birth to 9 years old: 8:00
B. 9-17 9:00
C. Seniors in HS 10:00
With these exceptions
If they had extra homework (One of my daughters was in IB, and she often needed to stay up to finish lengthy homework assignments, papers, special projects)
They could choose to stay up later one night a month.
Anytime they had late school functions, such as rehearsals, concerts, plays, etc.
There was very little kvetching about these, because we were flexible and they really needed their sleep. All of my HS kids attended religious education before school starting at 6:00 am, so they really didn't want to stay up late anyway.