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Brother's Controlling Wife
Old 10-07-2010, 01:07 PM
 
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My brother is very controlled by his wife. As soon as they got married (3 months ago) his wife "made" him delete all single women friends on FB unless they were family members such as myself and our female cousins. Brother's wife is also on FB and she keeps close tabs on Brother's FB page. This is beyond controlling. If they are so happy then why she should care if he's got a single female friend on there from middle school that he hasn't seen in over a decade. I feel bad for my brother cause he had to delete a lot of FB friends that he did like such as many many of our high school classmates(which I am friends with on FB) all because his wife is so threatened by single women. Oh and Brother's wife defines single as being not married yet. He also had to delete women who were engaged cause they aren't officially married yet. I feel so bad for my brother being married to such a control freak.


 


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Old 10-07-2010, 01:21 PM
 
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Sounds like he made a bad choice in a wife! I do know couples where one spouse is very controlling and it works. I guess it doesn't bother some people. I'd go crazy!!
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Old 10-07-2010, 02:43 PM
 
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just remember---you're not married to her...for whatever reasons he fell in love with her not you and he knew what he was getting into (one would hope)......too bad she made him delete all the names...wonder what he was thinking of when he was even dating her

remember, if she's like this now...she was probably like this when they were dating.
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Old 10-07-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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Is there a chance your brother did something that made her lose her trust?
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Old 10-07-2010, 03:19 PM
 
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honestly, don't get into other peoples marriages. You don't know what could have happend. If you brother loves her and accepts her, then you should just be there for him.


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Old 10-07-2010, 03:25 PM
 
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Are there more examples about her controlling him or is the facebook thing the only one? If it is that I would wait and see. She might have had a good reason to do so, or it could have been a mutual decision. Has your brother complained to you about it?
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Old 10-07-2010, 04:46 PM
 
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Ummmm, I really don't know that it is your business. He has to live with it, so it really is up to him.

When I married my dh, he tried to be very controlling to me. He had reason to be concerned as he had lived a not so honest life and thought everyone else was that way. We worked our way through it and now are happy and comfortable. I can even make comments about his friends now and he takes them as they are intended instead of just blowing his top and getting jealous! However, if I had written him off before, we wouldn't have had 20 great years and 2 beautiful children.

Hard, but doable. Everyone has their own burdens.
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Old 10-07-2010, 06:08 PM
 
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It's not your marriage. It's not your business. Aren't you trying to conform what you think your brother's marriage should be to your standards? Would you like to "control" what she will or will not let your brother do to what you believe? It's between him and his wife, like your marriage will be between you and your hubby someday. Be glad she lets him have a FB at all, and leave it at that.
 
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Old 10-07-2010, 06:37 PM
 
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While I agree with previous posts that you shouldn't get involved in other couples marriages, I don't think the original poster was getting involved. I think she was just looking from the outside thinking about how she sees another relationship. I am sure we all look at other couples and think, "Wow...I wouldn't like that." I know I do that about my siblings marriages. No, I would never tell them personally how I think their relationship is off track from my viewpoint but I've thought it several times. I am sure my DH and I have quirks that others find weird as well. We all judge people through our standards and norms. I just saw this post as the poster thinking out loud.
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Old 10-07-2010, 06:37 PM
 
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Actually I was listening to a radio show the other day that said the number of affairs that had started from Facebook was rising dramatically.
 
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:03 AM
 
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That is to bad that they do not have a foundation of trust and partnership. I find those to be important for a healthy and lasting marriage. Sounds like your brother needs to get a set of n&ts.
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I sucks
Old 10-08-2010, 10:48 AM
 
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when your sibling is with someone you donʻt think is right for them, or does not treat them right.

I have a lot of concerns about my sisterʻs husband, but in the end the only thing that really matters is that she is happy. I just have to constantly remind myself that it is her life and to keep my mouth shut. Donʻt even get me started on my brotherʻs partner.......
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