I have behaved in a way that I do not want to be attached to me. I show my annoyance from time to time at a meeting, with a child, and with my husband. I am lacking grace.
I, like all of you have too much on my plate.
The other day a teacher spoke to me in a way that I took as condescending. I blurted out don't talk that way to me ---- I just want to understand what I need to do. Her tone and the pressure of other teachers sitting and witnessing my confusion with the task was demeaning to me. And I have to say that this lady is my friend. I know that she was trying to help me but I felt like I was on the spot. Her tone is like this from time to time. She can sound demeaning. I have heard this at other times with other people.
I have lost my sense of humor, almost.
On another note, I yelled at a little girl who always talks in a panicked way after I give instructions. She always talks and says, "what do we have to do...what..." I felt so bad after I yelled at this little child. I apologized to her.
My husband sees the pressure I am under. Out before 7 and home at 7. The preps for so many groups, creating engaging lessons, grading, reporting.
I have taught for over 20 years. It is so intense right now.
My main concern is the teacher who I had harsh words with today. I am thinking of going in and apologizing to her.
When I prayed everyday for a good day I found out I was in the wrong grade level. I remember having to tell myself to see the humor in what the kids do. Once I changed grade levels I no longer have to pray for a good day! I'm enjoying teaching so much more.
Maybe a grade level change would help your mood. Also, I went to my doctor about anxiety when I began losing my temper at my husband and getting really frustrated with work. Once my anxiety medicine kicked in, I'm so much more even tempered.
Good for you for apologizing! Hopefully you can find a solution that makes you happy!
Our children and our students need the example of an adult who is willing to admit that she is wrong or made a mistake. I find that I have to do this myself. There is no shame in admitting you messed up. Sometimes I just say, "Wait a minute. Rewind that. " And then I say it the way I meant for it sound or with the words I should have used. I have even had to do this with parents. It's amazing how saying, "I messed up" calms a situation.
All that being said, anti depressants, changing systems, and changing grades can all make difference. Hang in there!
I am so close to retirement and wish I could go out with grace but the environment in my district has changed and we are now an education factory with the whole staff lacking in grace. I know I can count the days but I am feeling things physically and just need to get a handle on it. I have always set the bar so high for myself and see me just holding on. It is a good thing so many practices are in place but I find myself paralyzed at home when it comes to doing anything for school.
I have INTENSE kids this year who constantly nag me for so many things. If I forget anything, I have 26 kids to answer to. Heaven help me!
You are so on the mark. I apologized. My friend was fine. She wondered about my apology so i feel better taking responsibility. I keep trying to be true to myself. Anyways, i am just like you. I want to do it right but i wo der if the leaders really know. They have this new vision with loose ideas they want to see implemented.
I started this job in my thirties so i am a little past the noemal age range.
Yes, it is easy to get short-tempered when your plate is always full, and no matter how much you do, there is still more that needs doing.
When I could feel myself getting short-tempered, I took a deep breath and walked away from the situation. However, sometimes it just burst out of me, and I was done with the outburst before I realized it was happening. It made me want to cry...and two times I did. You know what? That cry helped clear the air, and it made me feel better!!
When I was having a particularly bad day, I would take my lunch and walk around the school while I ate it. The fresh air and exercise always seemed to help.
I completely agree with what others have posted. See your doctor...have your blood pressure checked...see a specialist if you feel you need one.
Could it possibly be Menopause?
It just sounds like your shortness isn't really you. Even if we all get stressed and we're tired, we know when our reactions are not normal to us. It sounds like you don't feel like you. I would take a trip to the Docs. It isn't worth a big explosion! Good Luck and know we all get it!
Then people 22-65 are all going through it at the same time. It is helpful to recognize that these are hard times for educators. I have just adopted two new things this year:
- don't check school email at home after 6PM. Why risk a stress filled night?
- do almost nothing at home for school. Assign fewer essays/reports to read.
Here are some old things:
- smile and say hello to everyone- how rare that is becoming at our school!
- attempt to be a person of integrity at all times.
- pray for people you don't like- or at least the situation
- realize that the state of education is pretty horrible right now and it isn't just you/us. We are all experiencing rough times.
- realize that many of the irritating people you encounter have big problems, mental health issue, etc.
I agree that prayer is important when dealing when stressful times and people. I assign a specific group of people or situation to a certain household chore and I pray for that group while I'm doing that chore. I pray for the people who are especially annoying to me when I'm cleaning the toilets. I pray for situations I would like to see out of my life when I take out the garbage. Try it...it certainly makes chore time go by faster!
I just pray for the unknown families/people in my neighborhood when I walk around. If their yard is messy, I assume they are having some stress or problems. Your ideas are so helpful in getting to be more effective and disciplined in prayer. Thanks!
I am also losing my patience at home and at work. I just don't feel like myself anymore.
I'm trying to keep my head above water by going out for lunch by myself more often. The fresh air helps and I don't have to be around one particular colleague who always seems to be complaining about something. I tend to be the one everyone comes running to when a problem arises and it's adding an element of stress this year that I'm afraid is going to do me in.
I think you're right about having too much on our plates. The negative press around our profession right now isn't helping much either.
has side effects. I believe that many people may need it but how sad that SO many educators need the help to survive. I strive so hard to eat "clean" and just don't want to put in something that might not really be good for me long term.
I'm not sure that some of those rascals don't need somebody to explode on them from time to time. I try to be calm, but...
OMG, I could've written this myself. I have wondered if it's the grade but that shouldn't matter. I don't want this label assigned to me. I have really been working on it & trying to just laugh about things & enjoy kids being kids. It isn't easy at school or at home but I don't want to be grouchy all the time. I always see my children modeling my behavior so it made me more aware. Trying hard everyday but it's a battle. Keep working at it, the first step is being aware and admitting it.