is it just me, or do some of the things you are supposed to say in L&L seem sarcastic? i am interested in this method and just bought the book, but that aspect is troubling me a bit. i don't want to be THAT teacher. any advice from teachers who use L&L?
You have to say them with REAL empathy. If you don't mean it, yes, it would be sarcastic. The key to L&L is to build relationships with your students. Part of that is to use empathy when they have problems. "Boy, that sure is a bummer. I hate when that happens to me."
Jim Fay recommends that you whisper, or at least speak quietly when you use empathy because it is very hard to be sarcastic and whisper at the same time.
I love L&L and have been using it for four years now (at home and in school) with great success.
that makes me feel better. I guess when i read those lines in the book, I was using a sarcastic voice in my head! It really does seem like empathy can either make or break the L&L method. We'll see how it goes this year for my 3rd graders!
I do not like or use l&l just for that reason. I think that no matter how you say it, it is sarcasm. If they are giving you an excuse about something and you use a "one liner" repeatedly. I don't think empathizing with them make them more responsibile. just my opinion
I admit that was my first reaction until I actually was able to use it successfully. What helped was receiving the training via the video tapes. We went from Canter to L&L and the change in the overall attitude in our students has been amazing. Teaching children to take responsibility is very important. Helping them to learn how to take care of their problems is a life skill.
Yes, there are "pat phrases" in the book, but they are examples - not absolutes. For instance, "bummer" is not a part of my normal vocabulary, so I would never use it.
If you think of it as sarcasm, it is sarcasm and it really is not the program for you. I think it is important that all teachers use a plan they are comfortable with and works.
I went to a full day training with the son of the creator of l&l (can't think of his name right now). I tried it for about a month. It may be for some people, but definitley not for me.
The phrases (which are only examples, feel free to use your own words!) sound sarcastic in my head, too, but that's 'cause sarcasm is my first defense and offense (trying to change that). I've had an opportunity to hear two different teachers use L&L and they are not sarcastic at all. They are speaking with real empathy the exact same phrases that might come out sarcastically from me.
It's the empathy that makes or breaks the system, imo, but that doesn't mean the empathy is what is making them responsible. Empathy lets them know you're on their side, you believe in them, you're genuinely sorry when they make mistakes. That encourages them to develop responsible behavior.
Repeating a one-liner is simply not being dragged into an argument with a student or child. If you can avoid being dragged into an argument without it, more power to you! I have a tendency to "go there" with kids who want to argue with me. I have to have a way to communicate to the child, "I'm not going to argue with you about this."
Perhaps I am a middle of the road kinda person, but I choose to take the best of "programs' and put them together. Not all programs work for all students, but you can alter bits and pieces to work with the students you have. Sometimes, I think people just repackage what wonderful teachers have known for years to work. That is why I just refuse to buy or use " programs". Common sense goes a long way in teaching. It can become overwhelming listening to what all these experts think we should be doing.
any day of the week. I think it is a personal thing though. I am just not the card flipping type. I need to feel like I am truly putting their fate in their hands.
I have used L &L with my 7 children at home and if you are truly empathetic, and why wouldn't you be? It works---- wonders!
I would rather teach my kids about how I am going to run my life and let them make their own choices, bad or good, they have the protection of home or school then to learn all of the same lessons is the less protected big world.
08-22-2007, 10:23 AM
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