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First year and I want out...

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First year and I want out...
Old 01-16-2017, 09:10 PM
 
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I'm in my first year of teaching first grade ESL (with a probationary certificate through an alternative teaching program, and with no prior teaching experience), and I want out! I've heard many times that the first year is the hardest, but my experience thus far has been so bad (from tension within the team, no support from my mentor, students' behavioral issues, parents, observations, etc.), that I literally cry and contemplate quitting EVERYDAY. My students' academic performance is below level and although many have ADHD and/or a language barrier (most only speak Spanish or have Spanish only speaking parents), I blame myself and lack of experience for their performance. I can't sleep at night and dread going to work every morning. It's affecting my health and relationships at home. I feel guilty that I spent most of my day and after school focusing on other children's education that I don't have time for my own children at home. I try to think positive but want to give up. I don't even know how I can continue the rest of the school year. I'm unhappy, stressed, unmotivated and drained...


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substeph substeph is offline
 
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substeph
 
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I'm also in my
Old 01-20-2017, 04:57 PM
 
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first year of teaching but luckily its a split up position at different schools so luckily I don't have the stress of lesson plans and parents. But, I have horrendous behavioral issues being in a public urban district. I'm exhausted, stressed and drained. Absolutely depleted of all energy. I left a comfy office job to try and do something with my teaching degree. Kind of regretting it but going to see if I can find a better position for next school year.
BTW you may want to move this thread to "THE VENT" section you will get a lot more feedback and advice. Best of luck to you.
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Thanks
Old 01-24-2017, 05:08 PM
 
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Hehe, thank you. I hadn't noticed there were other sections when I posted this. I totally agree with you, I left a nice office job (with great coworkers), that I'd been at for 8 years, for what I thought would be better pay and more time with family. It didn't take long for me to regret it. Thinking about going back to school for something in the medical field. Best of luck to you as well. 😊
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PollyCarp PollyCarp is offline
 
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Been There!
Old 01-29-2017, 04:58 PM
 
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Howdy JIC,
This sounds a lot like my first year teaching. In fact, it's practically identical except I could rely on my team, which probably made a difference.

Anyway, I survived it. I'm exactly halfway through my second year and plan (again) to make teaching my career. That was the right choice for me. Your needs may be different.

This is what saved my skin: my school district had a program for first-year teachers that was more formal than mentoring: monthly PD, a teaching coach in my room at least monthly, guided goal-setting, etc. Does your district have anything like that? If your mentor isn't helping you at all, do you have resources to get a different one, officially or unofficially?

One thing that also helped was losing the guilt. It's hard and I still have it. The educational community these days tend to blame the teachers for everything. It's true that teachers can have an amazing impact. But are we really to blame if we *don't* make that level of impact??? Every day I had to (and still have to, often enough) make a conscious choice to take responsibility for anything that I could fix about myself, but NEVER to blame myself. If I truly did muck things up, I chose to forgive myself and to apologize graciously to those I affected.

The final thing to bear in mind is each year is a fresh start. Last year, I had no idea what I was doing, my scores were low, a number of parents hated me, a bunch of kids were having mysterious potty accidents, etc. This year, I know what I'm doing, the parents are neutral about me, and I've had only two potty accident incidents. My scores are still low and my management is still rough around the edges, so now I have fresh professional goals.

Maybe you need to escape, and if so Godspeed. But if you decide to give it another go, I hope this helps a little bit. Best of luck.
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Thank you.
Old 02-21-2017, 08:35 PM
 
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Thank you for the response. Unfortunately, I don't feel that my situation is getting any better. I have already applied and submitted my resume for other positions (none are for teaching or in education). Besides the lack of support, my heart is just not in it. I cannot see myself doing this next year, or ever. I had thought to myself many times to just hang on, "I'll have summers off" but that is not a good enough reason to stay. I will say however, that the experience has been humbling and I have profound appreciation for teachers.


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