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Help Me Write a Book
Old 01-22-2017, 08:08 AM
 
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Let's pretend that I'm looking for creative chapter titles for writing a book. This book will be about how things really are in public education.

Some of the chapter titles I've heard from other colleagues when we discuss this silly idea include:

Liar Liar Pants on Fire!

You Never Said...

Are You Collecting This?

Please Consider Giving Billy a 274th Chance.


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Old 01-22-2017, 08:12 AM
 
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Teaching from 9-3: the 80 Hour Work Week
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Old 01-22-2017, 08:23 AM
 
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Data: The New Four Letter Word

Evaluations: Why Good Teachers Aren't
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Old 01-22-2017, 08:41 AM
 
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Kids: Hanging with Them All Day is Awesome
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since i'm sick this weekend....
Old 01-22-2017, 08:46 AM
 
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No, Really, You Don't Have to Cover Your Mouth When You Cough or Sneeze


also...

Teachers Love to Play Detective: Don't Write Your Name on Your Paper


These are fun!


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Old 01-22-2017, 08:49 AM
 
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Of course YOUR child would never lie.
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When Administration.....
Old 01-22-2017, 09:01 AM
 
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wants to observe: Dog and Pony Show OR the way I really teach?

Next chapter: Do they know the difference?
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Title
Old 01-22-2017, 09:02 AM
 
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PD Topic: Learn it, Live it, Breathe it. Oh, never mind!
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Old 01-22-2017, 09:35 AM
 
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Nurse, Therapist, Janitor, Parent Substitute: No just a teacher
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Chapter titles
Old 01-22-2017, 09:52 AM
 
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Silent Reading. JK!

Music to my Ears..how to make mouth noises so no one knows it's you

Putting the Fun in Disfunctional

And finally:
We Appreciate Your Input


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Old 01-22-2017, 10:09 AM
 
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Educational innovation, here today, gone next year.

What does the data tell us?

What does the research tell us?
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Old 01-22-2017, 11:58 AM
 
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Let's Meet to Discuss Our Next Meeting

It's a Manifestation of Her Disorder

I'm From the District and I'm Here to Help

He's Not a Troublemaker; He's Gifted

Last edited by Gifted; 01-22-2017 at 12:01 PM.. Reason: thought of another one
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book
Old 01-22-2017, 01:42 PM
 
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Are you meeting your goal you set for yourself in Sept? (who even remembers it?)

How to ignore disruptive behavior

When one child Destroys your class everyday: What not to do

Do the kids know the school mission?

Why kids hate school.

Feel free to be yourself, but please throw the chair away from your classmates

Don't cover your mouth when you yawn, I like to look at your tonsils.
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Old 01-22-2017, 01:52 PM
 
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Underachieving Geniuses Who Are Merely Bored

Super Special Snowflakes and the Moms Who Adore Them
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Old 01-22-2017, 01:59 PM
 
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Fully Prepared and Life Ready and Other Ridiculous Mission Statements.
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Great idea!
Old 01-22-2017, 02:47 PM
 
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Documentation or It Didn't Happen

You're Just Not Working Hard Enough

The Class Dunce: Why People with Little to No Teaching Experience Know More Than I Do

He Just Doesn't Like You and Other Reasons Snowflake is Being Disruptive

Hold Them Accountable and Other Ways to Pick on Kids
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Old 01-22-2017, 03:29 PM
 
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One...Two...Parents Comin' For You.

Has Anyone Around Here Seen a Backbone?

What <They> Say Goes.

We Appreciate Your Suggestions.

What Shared Decision Making Really Means.
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Old 01-22-2017, 03:41 PM
 
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"I Need a Pencil"

"The Parent Communication Tricks and Traps"

"The Broken Copy Machine Survival Guide"

"The Bored Students and Unfinished Homework Connection"

"The Teacher's Survival Guide to Teaching Two Classrooms at the Same Time Due to Sub Shortage"

"How to Keep Students Attention When the Intercom Interupts Class Every 20 Minutes"

"Unpacking the Data and All That Jazz!"

And finally...

"How Curriculum Copyrighted in1996 is Relevant in 2017"

Last edited by all41; 01-22-2017 at 03:57 PM..
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Old 01-22-2017, 04:50 PM
 
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The Love and Care of Snowflakes
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Another one
Old 01-22-2017, 05:12 PM
 
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Buzzwords & Acronyms - what they really mean

How to not hold your child accountable
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And, borrowing from today's news
Old 01-22-2017, 06:33 PM
 
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Alternative Facts (Parents and their Snowflakes)
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Old 01-22-2017, 08:22 PM
 
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Wow! I am very impressed with all of these! Very creative.

Loved reading each and every one of them.

Thanks for this thread.
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More
Old 01-22-2017, 09:36 PM
 
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Our New Math Inquiry Question: How did 23 students go through more than 250 pencils in 4 months, yet half the students still can't find a pencil when they need one?

"Your child is unfed, over-tired, unclean, late to class, rude, disruptive, unproductive, argumentative and unaccountable. Clearly that is all their teacher's failing."

"51 Reasons Why You Can't Go To The Bathroom 3 Minutes After Recess."

"No You Can't Call Your Mommy At Her Work Because You Don't Have A Cookie In Your Lunch Today."

"What Colour is Uranus?" And Other Odd Questions.

"School Teams: How Many People Can We Assemble To Care More About A Child's Education Than Their Parents?"
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Old 01-23-2017, 03:35 AM
 
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Differentiated teaching so we can all take the same test!
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Titles
Old 01-23-2017, 04:20 AM
 
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Yes! I mean I'm sorry snowflake is sick

Newsletters: Who reads them?

How to cram 90 days of summer fun into 1/2 the time
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Old 01-23-2017, 06:21 AM
 
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Acronym Roulette

When a 12 Becomes a 50 and Other Mystifying Math Wonders

Coddling 101
(also a PD course taught to teachers by parents)
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A few more. . . .
Old 01-23-2017, 09:02 AM
 
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1001 Ways Students Get Off Task

No, I'm Not Your Mother So I Won't Do That For You

How To Invite Parents To Come In And View Their Child In Action
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Old 01-23-2017, 12:08 PM
 
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My Principal, the Psycho
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A few more
Old 01-23-2017, 01:26 PM
 
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Teach the Standards (Ignore that, Teach to the Test!)
How to Have High Standards While Giving All A's
Do Ur Best or Just Take a Re-Test
BYOD (or Play Games While Pretending to Read)
Teen Lives Ruined by "First B"

and finally,

Congrats! You Are Getting a Student #31.
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Ok
Old 01-23-2017, 04:08 PM
 
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You suck. Prove you don't :A guide to the modern teacher evaluation

Yes, the inmates do run the prison

Peeing:How to minimize the calls of nature
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Old 01-23-2017, 07:13 PM
 
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Math Manipulatives: Just toys for recess.

Rigor, Rigor, Rigor Mortis!

Common Core for Dummies (oh wow it already exists)

You've Got The Look! Creating a "Cute Classroom" with ideas you find on Pinterest and Teachers Pay Teachers

Consultants: They're really just out-of-work PhD's
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Old 01-23-2017, 10:04 PM
 
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Where to Buy Bulk Bandaids and Other School Supplies on a Budget
Bubble Factories in the Bathroom Sink
Bed Bug Invasion
No Witnesses and 2 Different Stories
When You Could Produce the New Mean Girl Movie in the Teacher's Lounge
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Old 01-23-2017, 10:20 PM
 
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Are You Grading This?

How Not To Get Sucked Into A Parent Conference During Open House

You Can Lead A Horse To Water....
But It's Your Fault They Aren't Motivated or Thirsty Enough To Drink!
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enjoyed
Old 01-24-2017, 06:22 AM
 
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Thanks OP and everyone. Really good.
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One more
Old 01-24-2017, 10:34 AM
 
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Reschedule your conference for the 4th time? No problem!
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Old 01-24-2017, 09:20 PM
 
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OMG! I am laughing so hard!


PLC's: Best Practices for Staying Engaged When It's Just More Pointless Lame Crap

Do PITA Moms Really Know Best? and Other Myths

Repackage, Repurpose, Recycle: The New 3 R's of Curriculum

"Just Breathe!" And Other Inspirational Principal Quotes

Walk-Through Observations: Winging It 101

How to Stay Positive And Professional When You Get A Say In Nothing But Everything Is Still Your Fault

Your Circus, Your Monkeys: Keys to Navigating the Rainy Day Schedule
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Old 01-25-2017, 05:50 AM
 
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The Many, Many Uses for Duct Tape
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Old 01-25-2017, 06:06 AM
 
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Miss Layne Miss Layne, Jesus went the wrong way.

true story.
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Old 01-25-2017, 01:25 PM
 
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1,001 Ways to Annoy a Sub!

How to Heckle the Sub and NOT be sent to the office!

How to Get the Sub Fired!!!

The Classroom Teachers Let's us ................. (use our phones, go to the bathroom together, copy work (oh, I mean group work)

BINGO! In the classroom. (my least favorite activity)
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You all
Old 01-25-2017, 03:40 PM
 
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forgot the 50 chapters labeled
DATA
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More Titles
Old 01-26-2017, 03:56 AM
 
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An IEP Means You Get Out of Jail for Free!

An "I'm Sorry" at Dismissal Makes Up for All of Your Misbehavior for the Entire Day

Zero Tolerance for Bullying Means We Have to Actually DO Something, So We'll Just Call it Something Else
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Read?
Old 01-26-2017, 07:24 AM
 
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1)To read or guess: That is the eternal question.
2)We don't pee in the trash can! 27 things you never thought you'd say at work.
3) With this many snowflakes, shouldn't we have a snow day!?
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Here's one.....
Old 01-26-2017, 08:39 AM
 
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Bizarre Christmas Presents from Students(We all have at least one!)
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more!
Old 01-26-2017, 08:56 AM
 
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How not to get sucked into a PT conference in the soup aisle!

Why the "tools" in your toolbox seem to change every *@&! year!
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Love This!
Old 01-26-2017, 08:57 AM
 
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Just wanted to add

Meatloaf for Lunch Triggers Major Meltdown

Students Writing on Their Paper Upsets My Snowflake

Come On In, Class Started 40 Minutes Ago or How To Be Tardy Every Single Day

Observation at 2:15

Every Teacher Dreams of Indoor Recess
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Here's another one!
Old 01-26-2017, 09:34 AM
 
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Do NOT Lick Your Shoe!(and other funny teacher sayings)
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:28 AM
 
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Free PLC Time: Instead of Fifteen Forms, You May Submit Only Ten as Evidence of Your Work.

I Love Variety! Feel Free to Disregard What I Tell You EVERY DAY!

The Most Fun Students Start In the Middle of the Year.

Pacing Guides And How They Benefit a Diverse Group of Children.

Why Science and Social Studies Do Not Matter in the Elementary Classroom.

Child Abuse, Desperate Poverty, Low School Attendance: Why Low Grades are Actually THE TEACHER's Fault.

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Old 01-28-2017, 12:34 PM
 
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http://www.proteacher.net/discussion...d.php?t=546421
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Old 01-28-2017, 12:43 PM
 
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You Too Can Be An Expert in Education In Five Easy Steps.

1. Don't teach.
2. Get a PhD but never have a real job.
3. Believe everything in college.
4. Get an administrative certificate. (see #3)
5. Don't teach. (see #4)
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Fun times
Old 01-31-2017, 08:02 PM
 
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Are you going to call my mom?

I'm not blaming my son's friends for his behavior- but....

He is a very touchy feeling boy
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Old 02-18-2017, 09:07 PM
 
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Mean Girls Truly Rule the School

Office Space: You're Living it Right Now

The Living Peitri Dish: Not Just a Phrase
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