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Child does not like sharing and yells- help!

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Child does not like sharing and yells- help!
Old 03-23-2017, 04:27 PM
 
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I have a child in my preschool class, age 4, who does not share well. Everyday it's the same. During free play, he picks the bucket of toys he wants to play with. Friends start coming over wanting to play with him. He will start saying " no I don't want you to play, no I don't want you to play." And he will stand up and start jumping and shouting. Sometimes he will start grabbing his stuff and try running away. We have talked to him about sharing, suggested timers, read books about sharing. But he will still yell at his friends and the teachers almost everyday. When his friends get to play with the toys that he first picked out,(bc he's not listening) he gets mad or frustrated and starts crying. He simply believes that he should get to have it all to himself.

I talked to his mom about it also. He has a 2(almost 3) yr old brother. She said at home they don't really share or play together because they are interested in different things. The younger brother likes trucks and things like that, while the older son likes electronics and video games more. I do believe he gets too much screen time. :/

We do a daily sticker chart with him for our daily schedule. Maybe I need to come up with a more gratifying reward? Right now his reward is if in the morning he gets at least 3 stickers, he can have 2 mins with a special toy or see a photo of his choice on my cell phone. (example, a pic of Mickey Mouse) If he gets all his stickers on his chart for the whole day, he gets to take our stuffed mickey mouse toy home for the night.

What other ideas do you all have about getting him to share and also to stop yelling and grabbing things away from people? It's very frustrating. He also has selective hearing- you can be calling his name like 5 times and he will just keep playing or whatever he's doing and pretend like he doesn't hear you. (He does not have a hearing problem.) I know this is long, this kid is really trying my patience! Thanks to anyone who can help.


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Old 03-24-2017, 08:15 AM
 
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What's your procedure for the start of free play? (For instance, in some rooms I'm in, kids are paired off and then called in pairs to choose a center.)

If you call the kids one at a time, I'd just call him last, so that the others all get to choose first. - If there is something left he wants to play with alone, I wouldn't force it. But if he really wants to play with something already chosen, he will have to ask another kid to share. - Maybe being on the other side will help.

I would also suggest introducing some board games - in small groups, at a more controlled time than free play - so he gets some structured practice at taking turns.
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Old 03-24-2017, 10:03 AM
 
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At times when free play was out of control or super messy, I would put hula hoops on the floor with one toy/activity in each one, then assign two children to a hula hoop. Then I set a timer and they would rotate to a different hula hoop. They would try to fit "in" the hula hoop which was funny and not my intent. There are also different sizes of hula hoops--someone gave me some really large ones. It really helped with the noise level, too. Best wishes!
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Old 03-24-2017, 10:10 AM
 
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Or---another idea would be to use a "verbal" social story. One of ours was when a child wanted to ride a turn with a bike they would say, "Bike please." and the child with the bike would say, "Sure." and give the child the bike. At first we practiced at Circle Time where children took turns with the two roles. Sounds weird but it worked really well.
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Old 03-29-2017, 05:43 PM
 
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Im a special education teacher and it sounds like potentially receptive language delays could be impacting his social and emotional development. How does he sound when he speaks? How is his articulation? Does he answer yes/no questions? Can he answer a variety of WH questions? Does he seem to be disengaged or uninterested in you instruction- especially read alouds or high verbal content. How are his academics? I would not use a "verbal social story" with a child who seems to not hear. Visuals will be better. Act it out or create a picture books displaying the social story.


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Old 03-29-2017, 06:25 PM
 
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It's been a couple of years since I dealt with that age, but I always approached very matter of factly.

Those toys are not yours. They are mine, and I choose to share them with all the boys and girls in my class. Fighting, screaming, not sharing, being unkind, etc. makes me too sad to play and makes me put my toys away. You have a choice. Share and play with all of us or continue to (insert behavior) by yourself.

I usually had a cool down spot waiting for if the choice was throw a fit by myself.

It didn't take them long to figure out that it was no fun not to share. It lost you the toys and your play time as well as the attention of the teacher.
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