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rosieteaches rosieteaches is offline
 
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rosieteaches
 
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I need help managing this behavior
Old 04-30-2017, 03:32 AM
 
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I don't have a name for this behavior but I know I am not handling it well. Too often my reaction is to reason with an unreasonable student (always the same student.) For example last week I took away his water bottle when I spotted his chin on desk, mouth on water bottle, chasing the bottle with his mouth on moving bottle as it rolled around on desktop. His frustrated protest, "Why did you take that away I was drinking it."

Apparently he poked a hole in bottle so he could drink it that way, apparent when water leaked all over his desk when I picked it off to remove. He reasoned this is how he drinks water at home. Then we get into a squabble about the foolishness of his choices. I do this with this child way too much.

He is the student who thinks he is special and above the rules and procedures everyone else understands because they make sense.

Please help me come up with words or actions I can use the next time he is more special than my other 26. Parent meeting is two days away ;(


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Age?
Old 04-30-2017, 05:21 AM
 
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I have this same kid. He brings his water bottle in every day and plays with it if I let him. Students know they are allowed to have water bottles. However, my rule is that if it is disruptive, it's mine. I will just point to my desk if this kid is flipping it or spilling it, etc. He is to put it on my desk and then he can have it at the end of class. (He always forgets!)

If the kid argues or disrupts the class, I tell him that he lost his privileges. I teach MS so I can stop them at the door and tell them to put things back in their lockers. I'm not sure what age your student is, but playing with the water bottles (flipping and all that) is a huge trend. If it is an issue, I take it. That goes with anything (spinners, phones, ax spray, balls, paper air planes, and all the other junk they bring.) I usually try to be reasonable and say, "If I see it again, it is mine." Then, I just hold out my hand and don't say a word. They know what to do.

Some items I give back in June. I make a show out of putting a post-it on it and putting it in my desk. Guess how many times they come for their items? Never.
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Water Bottles and more...
Old 04-30-2017, 05:44 AM
 
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Thanks, I do the same. I have a June Box for things they are playing with. His trigger, creating my less than perfect reaction, is more directed to his personality trait that somehow expresses "I am special and the rules don't apply to me."

Also last week, weeks away from him going to fifth grade, he brought Cheetos out when an aide was supervising the classroom and started eating them as his snack. Well past our 100 days of school he clearly knows our snack is the healthy fruit or vegetable provided and distributed to all who choose it. He chose that snack and brought out his Cheetos so he could eat those too. When I returned to the room the class was actively engaged in their protest toward him doing the wrong thing.
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The times they are a-changin'
Old 04-30-2017, 11:57 AM
 
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The other day a student was being asked to stop something by his teacher, and he replied "the rules apply to everyone else but not to me".
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Really?
Old 04-30-2017, 12:38 PM
 
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Wow! This is amazing to me. Only five more years to retirement.


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Don't argue with him....
Old 04-30-2017, 05:43 PM
 
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First, don't engage in arguing with a child. He is the child, you are the teacher. What you say goes. I would simply take the water bottle. When he protests, tell him when he can follow your expectations, he can keep it. Leave it at that, don't discuss it further.
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Old 05-01-2017, 06:20 PM
 
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Quote:
...I don't have a name for this behavior but I know I am not handling it well. Too often my reaction is to reason with an unreasonable student (always the same student.)...
Name for this behavior is "backtalk". Backtalk comes in many flavors from nice compliments to nasty tantrums. The goal is always the same - switch the agenda. You moved in to do discipline, stop his behavior, and he tried to bait you into dropping your agenda and discussing his - anything else. He is essentially arguing you are deaf, dumb and blind with no sophisticated understanding of his unique creativity. If you bite he wins. You lose. This is why the number one technique to deal with backtalk is to not backtalk. Keep your mouth shut. Do not utter a syllable. Do not lecture. Do not reprimand. He knows why you are there. He knows he is in the wrong. Hold out your hand and wait.

The look you want is "bored" as if you've seen this type of stuff a million times. He will likely try another shot like the one you stated. Do not bite. Say nothing. Point to his work or move his book/paper in front of him. Wait. Do not speak. See what he does. Most students will get back to work at this point just to get rid of you. If not, you can write a simple private prompt, "Let's get some work done", on his paper (or carry some sticky notes). If he tries more backtalk (likely) do not respond. Wait. Say nothing. In other words, if he is going to backtalk at least make him do all the work. Don't help him along by adding words for his next topic sentence. Fred Jones puts it this way, "It takes one fool to backtalk. It takes two fools to make a conversation out of it."
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Fenwick recommended a great fix
Old 05-02-2017, 03:34 AM
 
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Great advise and well said. Thank you.
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I struggle with that too at times
Old 05-02-2017, 03:58 AM
 
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At first I would try to explain, argue, etc. Never helps. If, when the child is calm, they can politely talk with me then we might do that. But I found it is much more effective to just state you broke rule x, administer the consequence, and let them exhaust themselves. If they bring it up again I say we already deal with that or asked and answered the first couple of times and then tend to ignore it after that. This way they can just tire themselves out arguing with themselves for a moment. Much easier.
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Backtalk
Old 05-02-2017, 10:41 AM
 
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Anytime I hear one ounce of backtalk, I hand the child a reflection sheet. The front has some reflection questions that go with the seven habits. The back has a page of lines and the child has to write "I will respect myself, my peers, and my teachers at all times."


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Old 05-15-2017, 12:30 AM
 
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Yeah, I agree with the others there's no point in arguing it only makes the situation worse. By arguing you are only adding fuel to the fire.... students love an argument so avoid it as much as possible. Stay calm and strong.
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seven habits
Old 05-28-2017, 08:59 AM
 
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Could you tell more about the seven habits please and I will try to google it. I also like your reflection sheet. I agree never argue.

A mentor teacher suggested, assuming that proceedures are posted, that asking the child to identify which proceedure they are breaking. You point to it and ask the child to read it to you. This was advised under the assumption that the child will get tired of the repititon and eventually quit the behavior.
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Old 07-27-2017, 04:54 PM
 
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You have got to read Michael Linsin's Dream Class. Also he has a newsletter called smartclassroommanagement.com.
It changed my entire approach and saved my sanity!
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Yes Prestolji!
Old 09-04-2017, 08:45 AM
 
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I love Michael Linsin's Dream Class. I just posted about his book and newsletter. I found his site over the summer and have read every article he has! Would you mind sharing some of your experiences? It all sounds good to read about it but applying in the classroom is where I struggle. Things always start off great but then to keep up with the behaviors and the next thing you know I am not following the plan.
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This is School
Old 09-04-2017, 11:12 AM
 
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I agree with not engaging. The answer to "But I do it at home." is always "This is school, not home."
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