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Perception & Reality
Old 10-31-2017, 06:30 PM
 
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When a principal or a school counselor says to you, "Perception is reality," what do you think?

This is pretty much a running theme at the school where I am. It is used to try to "help" the teacher change some aspect of his or her delivery or personality, so that said teacher can "get along" with what probably amounts to the worst behaved student in the class. The one who says "don't yell at me" when no one is yelling except THEM.

So, does anyone else here receive this maxim as advice? When you do, how do you respond?


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I think he is an _____
Old 10-31-2017, 07:33 PM
 
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You might try and explain to the ______ that it is more important to teach the student to express his reality in a moderate way.

It is true that abused or mentally ill children have a warped sense of reality and are relying on their damaged perceptions. But to try and walk on eggshells as the answer to a child's damaged perceptions is idiocy.

I think I would dig deeper into what they are saying and pin them down. If they are saying the child's perception is reality. Fine. That is pretty much true for everyone. I think I'd ask them if they can offer him services to stop his delusional thinking. That's what it is: Delusional thinking.
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Old 10-31-2017, 07:34 PM
 
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Sorry, I don't have any good advice, but the temptation to make some snotty retort about my "perception" of the person making such a comment would be ohhhhh so tempting.
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Old 11-01-2017, 12:28 AM
 
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My recent former admin had that theory. I was always tempted to tell her what I thought what my perception of HER reality was, but kept my mouth shut even as I chose to leave the school.

Sometimes, if you have an admin that supports you when speaking to students and parents, they can help change those negative perceptions and foster an environment where you can continue to work to improve things with that student/parent. Sympathizing and nodding in agreement when they bash you really helps no one. I've never had issues with students/parents before, but this principal encouraged them to come straight to her and things would get seriously messed up!
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Principal Wisdom
Old 11-01-2017, 01:51 PM
 
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Whenever they use a trite phrase, ask them for an explanation and its relevance to the situation at hand.


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Old 11-01-2017, 08:56 PM
 
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I sometimes want to tell the counselor who parrots that phrase, "Hey, then I guess we don't need a counselor like you to help a student learn to see actual reality." I mean, isn't that a counselor's job? To help the student understand what is actually REAL and what is not?

My students have soooo many challenges, but are we really doing them a favor when we allow them to sit in their dysfunction and never push them to change? Isn't it wrong to enable them by requiring the teacher to walk on eggshells?

When I was in 6th grade my parents divorced. I was the only kid on my street with divorced parents. I was the only person in my grade with divorced parents. I changed schools every year from 4th grade to 9th grade. I guarantee NO teacher ever sat around talking about my situation in a team meeting.

I truly care about my students but the only power I have is the power to teach so that they can move up to the next grade with confidence. No one at my school seems to value actual skill anymore. No one supports the teachers in actually teaching. We don't seem to believe that what we teach can actually change lives. "No one will remember you for what you said, only how you made them feel." I hear that over and over and over again.

I have past experience with seeing students change for the better and learn, but now our expectations seem to be so low.
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I heard that one recently
Old 11-02-2017, 02:36 AM
 
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"Perception is reality." Um, only in the mind of the student, who misbehaves so much that he requires repeated redirection throughout the day, which leads the student to believe that he's being yelled at all the time and thus needs Mom and Dad to complain to the P about that mean, mean teacher. (And no, I don't yell.) My theory is that students don't like to hear no because parents never tell them no. No makes them behave; no makes them do work. And they don't want to do either. They're smart enough to know that if they complain about a teacher being mean, admin will immediately take the student's side because everybody knows teachers are rotten. Problem solved--the teacher loses all authority and the student can do as he pleases.

I've found another job and am in the process of leaving the school, thank you, Lord, for this and other reasons.
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Old 11-02-2017, 04:56 AM
 
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Quote:
When I was in 6th grade my parents divorced. I was the only kid on my street with divorced parents. I was the only person in my grade with divorced parents. I changed schools every year from 4th grade to 9th grade. I guarantee NO teacher ever sat around talking about my situation in a team meeting.
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
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1X I had a counselor
Old 11-04-2017, 01:06 PM
 
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Try something like that! A boy had purposefully broken certain items in my room on numerous occasions when an aide was in the room. Our 1st step in that school was to send them to the counselor back then. The new counselor started off w/ Paul FEELS like you are being unreasonable asking him to replace or pay for these items.I think I have seriously lost my temper 4 times in 25 yrs. That was 1 of them. I made it clear that I did not give a rat's ___ how Paul FEELS, he broke my stuff, and needed to replace it. Believe it or not, that counselor and I ended up really good friends for many yrs after that. There were things we disagreed on, as normal, but I never had to listen to that again.
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