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Did I handle this the wrong way?

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MissAgnes MissAgnes is offline
 
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Did I handle this the wrong way?
Old 11-02-2017, 11:49 AM
 
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I have a student in my class who is very needy, attention-starved, and lacks good social skills. I'll call her DG. DG often accuses her classmates of taking her stuff (they don't), or looking at her, or something. She's a drama queen, and is constantly arguing with classmates. She also lies quite often, to her classmates, and to me, and to me ABOUT her classmates. I have had many discussions with her about her behavior, and how it affects others and how they respond to her.
She desperately wants friends, but doesn't know how to be a friend.
Today, another girl pointed out that DG had her pencil. DG said the other girl gave it to her, but the other girl denied it.
I eventually just confiscated the pencil.
Then, I quietly pulled DG aside and told her that it was difficult for people to believe her because she lied so often. She told me I was mean, what I said was mean, and that I should have kept it to myself because it hurt her feelings.
I told her that I wanted her to understand why I had a hard time believing her, and that I didn't want her to think I was playing favorites.
Did I handle this wrong? Should I have NOT said anything about not believing her because of her frequent lies?
I always stress to my students the importance of telling the truth, and that if you are honest, people are more likely to believe you. I feel like I was just reinforcing this with a student who needs to learn the lesson.


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Old 11-02-2017, 12:13 PM
 
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Do you have a school psychologist or social worker? It sounds like this girl needs an intervention.
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MissAgnes MissAgnes is offline
 
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Counselor is involved.
Old 11-02-2017, 12:42 PM
 
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There are several staff involved. We have a behavior interventionist that is involved as well. It's definitely a process, though.
It's a tough situation, as I know where her issues come from. She desperately wants her father's approval, and never gets it. Very sad.
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done the same
Old 11-02-2017, 01:32 PM
 
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I think I would've done the same. Clearly this drama kid picked up some bad habits. Is this kid from a war-torn country? The kid seems to be on survival mode! I would also consult with a school psych/counselor and share your observations. Along the way, I would plan on how to make this student feel more part of the class. Let's hope that other kids don't pick up this kid's attitude or bad habits.
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Old 11-02-2017, 02:32 PM
 
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I've said that something to kids before. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I think this girl has also learned what to say to get people to feel sorry for her/give in..hence the whole it hurt her feelings so you shouldn't have said it. I have a class where she/he took my pencil is a frequent complaint. I teach 5th grade. Honestly, I refuse to deal with this anymore. It's a pencil. I've explained it is wrong to take something without asking, even something as small as a pencil, but I don't have time to spend investigating who did or did not take someone's pencil. They need to fix it themselves with words or forget about it...little deal, talk to me when it's something bigger. I know that sounds harsh, but I truly don't have time anymore to deal with all of the little things. Before handling it like this, I spent so much of my day dealing with the littlest of things when I could have actually been teaching. I refuse to waste time on those things now, especially in 5th grade.


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Old 11-02-2017, 05:23 PM
 
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I don't think you handled that wrong at all. She needs to understand that her behaviors are going to have consequences...I have a student just like this. It was like you were describing him.
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Old 11-03-2017, 05:48 PM
 
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I think you were more than kind.

We do our children a great disservice when we are not honest.

Adults tiptoeing around all the children are one of the reasons we have so many .
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Agreement Bridge
Old 11-03-2017, 08:05 PM
 
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Whole Brain Teaching has a great tool I sometimes use with difficult kids called The Agreement Bridge. It is a little gameboard that you can use one on one with a student where both of you can talk about a problem that a student is having. It takes about 15 minutes and works best before or after school or during a time when you can spare the time with just that one student.

The game board has spots to move like TELL ONE THING ABOUT YOURSELF - TELL WHAT YOU THINK THE PROBLEM IS - TELL THE PROBLEM FROM THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW -ETC.

By the time you finish the game you have effectively dealt with the problem, agreed on a solution, and also had a chance to learn more about the student. You can get this tool on the WBT website for free.
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