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opinions please
Old 12-05-2017, 03:38 PM
  #1

I signed out because this is a touchy subject. I have a sister who has been living with my parents with her two kids who are now 21 and 18 for the past 15 years and will be forever. Do any of you who live with your parents or have siblings who live with your parents feel that your parents favor the child and grandchildren who live with them? I am just looking for honest opinions and reasons for them.


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Old 12-05-2017, 04:11 PM
  #2

Not at all, my parents want my brother to leave There is no favoritism with DB and/or his children.
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Old 12-05-2017, 04:25 PM
  #3

Why will she live there forever? Does she pay rent? I'm sorry that they favor your sister over you. That must be really hard.
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Old 12-05-2017, 04:46 PM
  #4

Without knowing the particular situation (your family) no one can really say. It might just be a case of the squeaky wheel getting the grease (your sister needs the most help). They might actually prefer you, the one who successfully launched!

As for the grandkids (her kids) being the favorite, it is possible, if only because by living with your parents, they might have fostered a stronger bond, if you know what I mean. Not necessarily that these kids are better, but your parents might be very attached to them since they've lived there for so long.
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Old 12-05-2017, 05:32 PM
  #5

We don't live with my dad but we have a "spare bedroom" in our house that is essentially my dad's room when he comes to visit. He lives two and a half hours away so when he visits, it's easier for him to stay overnight often. He and my daughter are close. It's mostly because they see each other regularly and a bit because he thinks I need more help, as a single mom. He likes to come and change my light bulbs around the house. I let him, lol. It's also because my parenting style is different than my brother's (who lies across the country). I have one kid, who is the oldest grandchild, and my brother has three. My dad feels protective of my DD because she's had very limited contact with her dad and no financial support. He doesn't view my brother's children that way. Also, tbh? My brother and his wife let their kids scream all the time. It's obnoxious. They're bossy and yell and with three it just gets loud and tiring. DD doesn't have anyone she needs to shout over so she doesn't.


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Old 12-05-2017, 05:44 PM
  #6

I don't know the details of your concern.

When children and grandchildren live with a parent/grandparent, their lives are interconnected. They probably know each other better or at least they know what's going on in a more direct way. Truthfully, that may make them seem closer.

It doesn't mean they love one set of kids more than the other. I don't know if you live in the same town or hundreds of miles away. It's hard to attend grandchildren's ball games and choir performances if they live far away.

Have you told your parents how you feel and why? What would you like them to do differently?

Does your sister also take care of your parents? Unmarried daughters in the past often were the ones who stayed in the home and took care of the parents as they aged. Some siblings were glad to have that arrangement.
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Old 12-05-2017, 07:18 PM
  #7

I have two siblings. We are all married. One sibling/family lost home due to foreclosure. Sibling and family moved in with Mom.

A few years later Mom decides to move to a different area. Mom gave sibling/family her house. My other sibling and I have mortgages. The sibling who lost own house, now owns a home mortgage free.

Talk about favoritism. It’s not about the house-it’s how can a parent choose one child over the other two?

I’m sorry. I know it’s painful.
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