help. up since 4:00 - ProTeacher Community


Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      Teachers' Lounge


help. up since 4:00

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
jwtktgtc
 
 
Guest

jwtktgtc
 
 
Guest
help. up since 4:00
Old 01-03-2018, 03:19 AM
  #1

I have a son who we think will be salutatorian. He has not gotten his applications in for college. We've talked to him about it. To be fair, he has had a packed and busy semester and we've been busy. I put things off because it is so overwhelming to me.

This morning my husband and I are not happy with one another. It's water under the bridge now, but some schools we've missed the deadline. He's looked at a private school and I think he has his heart set on it. He got a big scholarship that will pay for part of one year. I just wanted him to go to a state college and then finish at the private one.

We are not rich and I'm thinking my next 3 years of my paycheck will go to his tuition. The 4th year I was hoping to retire. My husband thinks our son should work for a year to learn the value of a dollar. I say we should have been helping him with all of this.

My parents helped me and my siblings to sort things out college and finacial-wise. I always knew I'd go to college. I do know that it is not for everyone and you can go far just having a good work ethic and a plan. My husband's parents didn't go to college and didn't push it with his family. I guess I see the two of us having different mindsets. He doesn't get upset much but this morning it is not good. We will get the application out, but my son may be going in the spring semester. I am just feeling like I'm going to lose it because we all, collectively, dropped the ball. He may be going in the spring semster verses the fall. I am having a major panic attack. Thanks for reading.


  Reply With Quote

eliza4one eliza4one is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,772
Senior Member

eliza4one
 
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,772
Senior Member

Old 01-03-2018, 09:53 AM
  #2

Ultimately, it is up to your son to get all of his ducks in a row. Not yours. The only thing we did for our children was to fill out the FAFSA. They did the rest. It's not asking too much of them, trust me! I have learned that things always work out, so don't panic!

As for paying...my income helped pay for all 3 college tuitions. I also took about parent loans (which I immediately started repaying, long before I had to). They took out some loans, as well. A total of about $20,000 each for all 4-5 years (one took 5 years to graduate). They also had jobs for spending money, etc.

We were military when they were growing up, so didn't have spare money to set aside. Honestly, it wasn't needed, although of course it would have helped. This was 8-10 years ago, so I don't think too much has changed in that short time. Of course, private school is a whole different ballgame, financially.

Just remember. It will all work out the way it is supposed to. However, your DS does need to get into gear! No excuses.
eliza4one is offline   Reply With Quote
Sprite's Avatar
Sprite Sprite is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 114
Full Member

Sprite
 
Sprite's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 114
Full Member

Old 01-03-2018, 11:01 AM
  #3

Is your sons guidance counselor helping at all? When I applied to college, I applied to 8 different schools. My guidance counselor was really helpful. He really was kind to me and helpful. He retired my junior year of college and it was hard for me.

His replacement tried but she was just not the same.

I understand the pressure of helping your son. You know he wants to go to college and you know it is important for him to go. Whether he starts in the fall or spring, the most important thing is that he goes.

Why do you think he wants to go to the private school? Does it have a really good program for something he is interested in? If so, that may make financial sense. I think the most important part of this is trying to help him figure out what he wants to do and where has the best program.

I spent a lot of time and money not knowing what I wanted to do. Looking back what I probably should have done was start at a community college. Sometimes at 18 you want so bad to be independent and on your own but there are other things to consider as well.

Perhaps you and your husband can come up with a dollar amount you are comfortable giving to help. From there your son can make a decision on what he wants.
Sprite is offline   Reply With Quote
twinmom95's Avatar
twinmom95 twinmom95 is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,756
Senior Member

twinmom95
 
twinmom95's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,756
Senior Member

Old 01-03-2018, 11:42 AM
  #4

As PP's said, it really is up to your son to get things done. You can help some, but it is NOT your responsibility to make sure this all happens. Even bright kids can be reluctant and maybe a semester off working or a gap year could be the very best thing for him to earn some money and feel more ready to get organized.

Private schools can have a lot more money to give aid and scholarship wise so don't discount them. Starting at a state school and transferring to a private he might not get anything at a private school 2 years down the road. Our NH state schools are among the most expensive in the nation and give next to no aid if any. My twins both went to private schools (graduated last May), got solid scholarships, and paid just a bit more than what the state school would have cost us and I feel got a better education with better opportunities. Both had full time jobs in their fields by graduation (phew!!).

I did save for a long time and didn't take out loans. My kids took the subsidized Stafford loans and owe about $12,000 each, which really isn't that much.
twinmom95 is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
Teachers' Lounge
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:26 AM.

Copyright © 2017 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net
3