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bodes12 bodes12 is offline
 
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Should I apologize? Need advice before tomorrow morning
Old 02-21-2018, 10:29 PM
 
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I posted awhile back in the Vent thread about some issues I've been having with my student teaching placement. Generally, my mentor and I get along and I think she's a fantastic teacher. Today, however, I maybe said something a bit rude.

Let me set this up. After class another teacher came in to chat about observing Kindergarten, because she wants to move down grades. Another teacher had previously came down and said the same thing, so I offered that she could observe me teach during her prep since I'm teaching solo in my class now. The teacher who came in today said one of her concerns was classroom management being too difficult with Kindergarten, and it eventually evolved into my teacher saying that she should watch me teach a lesson because they're pretty crazy with me. Throughout the conversation, my mentor also mentioned how sometimes she stepped in to help, and basically classroom management wasn't the best. This was not two quick sentences, it was probably a 3-4 minute conversation about this.

I wasn't explicitly a part of this conversation as I wasn't adding much input, though I was previous chatting with them as I collected my lessons and whatnot, and I was sitting and engaged with them a few feet away. To be honest, I was really offended and I didn't think it was professional to say the things she did. After that, I was feeling pretty negative and offended that she had, without discussing with me, told the other teacher to come in and observe. Not only that, but she phrased it in an insulting and hurtful manner. After that conversation and cleaning up, we both said our goodbyes and my mentor teacher said "tomorrow is another day!"

Jokingly (or so I thought I sounded) I said, "what is that supposed to mean?"

I didn't intend my tone to come out anything other than light and humorous, I'm afraid I didn't come across that way because she said, "it doesn't mean anything."

I was already half out the door and so I just said, "Okay." My tone was weird though and kinda quiet, and now I feel really guilty. I didn't mean to snap and I feel guilty, but I'm not sure if I should bring it up tomorrow and apologize and tell her I didn't intend to sound rude.

What should I do? D0 I apologize, or just kinda hope she didn't think anything of it?

* I forgot to mention that she is really good at apologizing. For example yesterday she ran to something without telling me, so I waited around till 5 to get feedback then just left since I had no idea where she was. This morning she apologized. Another time she apologized because she thought she had been rude, but I didn't think so at all. So I feel like thats probably something she values.



Last edited by bodes12; 02-21-2018 at 11:05 PM..
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Old 02-21-2018, 11:02 PM
 
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I would just go in and act like nothing happened. Bringing it up may cause more issues in my opinion. You want to maintain a positive atmosphere as she will give feedback to your supervisors about your performance. Let it roll off your back when she says these kinds of things as she is being unprofessional and you do not want to get into a confrontation.
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It's worth a discussion
Old 02-22-2018, 02:43 AM
 
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I would ask if there's something specific she wants you to do to improve your classroom management. That's the hardest piece for most new teachers, so don't be defensive.

Maybe you could say, "After hearing your conversation with ----, I am concerned about improving my classroom management skills. What can I work on first?

Good luck! And if you want to apologize for your tone, go ahead. It can only help your relationship with her. But keep the focus on your professional development. You're there to learn.
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Old 02-22-2018, 05:33 AM
 
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All new teachers struggle with classroom management and it is her job to step in a model for you. That said, no one wants to hear they are not good at something, especially to a third party.

I think Munchkins gave you good advice. I think, since you know this teacher values apologies, you might say hearing her comments took the wind out of your sails and you're sorry your tone was less than positive.

Good luck--it's hard, I know.
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student teacher
Old 02-22-2018, 07:23 AM
 
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I didn't read the other responses so sorry if I repeat:
There's never anything wrong with apologizing if you feel the need to or feel like your tone was sarcastic or negative. You can just explain that. But, in addition to explaining that I would say how you felt about her conversation with the other teacher/ST. You can say you were feeling hurt and would rather her address these class management issues with you rather than ask someone to come in and observe your poor class management. Personally I think she was out of line and that really is inappropriate. Isn't she helping you? Class management is so hard in the beginning. You'll do fine but ask her for advice. Good luck


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Old 02-22-2018, 11:45 AM
 
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I'm jumping in on this too late, but I want to add that I just had a student teacher come apologize for something to me and it made a huge impression both on me and her cooperating teacher (I was subbing in the room when some things happened with the student teacher). It's never a bad idea if you think it's appropriate.
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I agree with Munchkins
Old 02-22-2018, 03:42 PM
 
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To follow that advice would be showing that you really care about your teaching, growth, and reflection. I think you should be doing this (having convos like this) on a regular basis, regardless.

Yeah, without being there, sounds like you need to apologize at least for your tone.

This isn't the time to be right. Student teaching can be a humbling time and you are there to learn and grow, not get along beautifully with your mentor teacher. We call it a cooperating teacher, which to me is more like it because I didn't want to be like my coop teacher at all but I did want to be a great teacher, learn, and reflect on what I did wrong (and right). It is also VERY important to be pleasant, kind, excited, etc. about what your teacher wants you to do. There were MANY times I wanted to say, "You've got to be kidding me..." when my coop teacher would spring something on me....but I didn't. I smiled and put my big-girl panties on .

After I got a job in the district, I actually became good friends with my coop teacher. She was a colleague who I did some collaborating with, so it was important that she see me as a professional early on.

I have not read your other posts, so there is probably something I'm missing, but this is what I would do. The good news is, this placement is temporary and you can do anything for a short while! Good luck!
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