Lets post funny things about teaching here - ProTeacher Community


Home Join Now Search My Favorites
Help


      BusyBoard

Lets post funny things about teaching here

>

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Penguin82's Avatar
Penguin82 Penguin82 is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 4,227
Senior Member

Penguin82
 
Penguin82's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 4,227
Senior Member
Lets post funny things about teaching here
Old 07-24-2018, 11:00 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #1

1) student brought in a cardboard tampon applicator and said "here's the cylinder for our shapes museum!"

2) a parent got me diet supplements for a Christmas gift

I have more but let's just start with this.


Penguin82 is offline   Reply With Quote

sbslab's Avatar
sbslab sbslab is online now
 
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 4,214
Senior Member

sbslab
 
sbslab's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 4,214
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 03:00 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #2

1. I once had a student who literally brought me his homework that the dog ate. It was complete with teeth marks and a rip where the kid tore it trying to retrieve it.

2. A current parent who’s other daughter I had years ago knows I love flip flops. For Christmas, I received a pair of flip flop socks! I literally laughed out loud.
sbslab is online now   Reply With Quote
noonespecial noonespecial is online now
 
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 468
Senior Member

noonespecial
 
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 468
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 03:44 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #3

A cardboard tampon applicator! I think I would have lost it!!

Did you use it for your project?
noonespecial is online now   Reply With Quote
MightyTeach's Avatar
MightyTeach MightyTeach is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,050
Senior Member

MightyTeach
 
MightyTeach's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,050
Senior Member
Long flowy skirt
Old 07-25-2018, 03:51 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #4

One day I wore a long flowy skirt - it was soo comfortable. Well, I was walking my class up a ramp on our way to the gym, when all of a sudden a student stepped on the edge of my skirt and pulled it down! Thank my lucky stars I had a slip on - or my undies would have been exposed! Scary thought those kids would have been scarred for life!
MightyTeach is offline   Reply With Quote
toomucheduc
 
 
Guest

toomucheduc
 
 
Guest
Teach Sped
Old 07-25-2018, 04:11 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #5

Too many people heard the story so I had to sign out to hide my superhero identity.
I teach Special Education in High School. We had some challenges with a girl in our class being very flirty with all the boys in the school. One day as she walks in to Geography class she says "What's Tinder?" I just say Matter of Factly "It's a website where you adults try to find people to date." The entire time my para has this look of shock on her face. Then the girl points to my learning target saying something about the TUNDRA and says "That's what you're teaching us today!?" way too excitedly. By the way the school psych was observing another student at that time. I turned bright red, and was so choked up with laughter with everyone else in the room that all I got out was "Please don't put that in your report." Even days later my para would walk by and quietly whisper something like "Today we're talking about ..." and say a dating app. It took a while to live that down.


  Reply With Quote
ASAM ASAM is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 738
Senior Member

ASAM
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 738
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 04:38 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #6

I was passing out worksheets and for some reason had way too many. A student noticed that I had a lot of extras and said, "If you're still living next year, you can use your extras then."
ASAM is online now   Reply With Quote
musiclover's Avatar
musiclover musiclover is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 737
Senior Member

musiclover
 
musiclover's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 737
Senior Member
Rolling Avocado
Old 07-25-2018, 04:41 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #7

Once in 4th grade an avocado rolled from a backpack or desk all the way across the room. There was a gasp from the kids and you could hear a pin drop. No one appeared to be the owner.

I just picked it up, muttered something about making guacamole, and kept right on teaching!
musiclover is offline   Reply With Quote
mom23kids's Avatar
mom23kids mom23kids is offline
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,659
Senior Member

mom23kids
 
mom23kids's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 9,659
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 04:55 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #8

Well, I got breath freshener for a holiday present. <!--gi

The religious jewish teachers wear skirts. One day I was wearing a skirt and a kid in my class came over and said to me "I didn't know you were jewish". I had to tell her that you don't have to be jewish to wear a skirt. lol
mom23kids is offline   Reply With Quote
Zia's Avatar
Zia Zia is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 12,200
Senior Member

Zia
 
Zia's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 12,200
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:00 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #9

One day, it started snowing and a kid yelled, "Look! It's FLAKING!"


I say that every time it snows now.
Zia is offline   Reply With Quote
anna's Avatar
anna anna is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,256
Senior Member

anna
 
anna's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,256
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:11 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #10

I was doing a shared writing lesson with my k class and invited a student to put a "dot" after the last word in the sentence because our sentence was all done. I told the class that the dot is called a period and my little enthusiastic student loudly proclaimed that his mom had a period too


anna is offline   Reply With Quote
cemsnowy4 cemsnowy4 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 299
Full Member

cemsnowy4
 
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 299
Full Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:12 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #11

A teacher I work with received a cupcake with the frosting licked off for teacher appreciation.

My first year teaching I taught first grade and I asked the kids if they had nicknames they would like to use and a little girl raised her hand and said "Poopsie".
cemsnowy4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Charlotte's Avatar
Charlotte Charlotte is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,799
Senior Member

Charlotte
 
Charlotte's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,799
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:14 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #12

Years ago I was teaching kindergarten and I sent a note home with my students asking for egg cartons for a project. About a week later one of my students (who was from a foreign country and his family spoke very little English) brought me a bowl of egg shells covered in Saran wrap. The eggs had been carefully cracked in half and even the membrane inside of each had been painstakingly removed. It took me nearly half a day to figure out why he brought them to me -- I didn't connect it to the egg carton note I had sent home.

I highly suggest the book 32 Third Graders and Once Class Bunny by Phillip Done -- it is full of hilarious classroom stories only a teacher would appreciate.
Charlotte is online now   Reply With Quote
Hifiman's Avatar
Hifiman Hifiman is online now
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 23,038
Blog Entries: 8
Senior Member

Hifiman
 
Hifiman's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 23,038
Senior Member
This stuff is
Old 07-25-2018, 05:15 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #13

gold. I can't think of anything even coming close.
Hifiman is online now   Reply With Quote
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
GreyhoundGirl GreyhoundGirl is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 17,214
Senior Member

GreyhoundGirl
 
GreyhoundGirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 17,214
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:16 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #14

My most difficult kid was giving me fits one day last year. I told him I don’t take orders from an 8 year old. He shot back with, “I don’t take orders from a 20 year old!” I’m 41. I lost it. I started laughing and hugged him.
GreyhoundGirl is online now   Reply With Quote
amiga13's Avatar
amiga13 amiga13 is online now
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 11,830
Senior Member

amiga13
 
amiga13's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 11,830
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:18 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #15

Back when Lucy Calkins first introduced her method for Writers Workshop, I tried to follow the model right down to standing during a conference and announcing, “This is the mid-workshop interruption.” I often got involved in conferences and failed to remember to do it.

One day, during Sharing of our writing, a 3rd grader announced, “You forgot the mid-workshop ejaculation.”
amiga13 is online now   Reply With Quote
WordFountain's Avatar
WordFountain WordFountain is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 349
Full Member

WordFountain
 
WordFountain's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 349
Full Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:19 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #16

One time when I taught 1st grade - I would send postcards to the students in the summer to welcome them to 1st grade. I always included some sort of line about having a "fun year" or "doing fun things".

Well, it's November and the class is participating in Math centers. One of my little Firsties comes up to me crying and very upset. I ask him what's wrong. He says (very indignantly), "You said that we'd be having fun and this is NOT fun!"
WordFountain is online now   Reply With Quote
Zia's Avatar
Zia Zia is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 12,200
Senior Member

Zia
 
Zia's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 12,200
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:38 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #17

We had a tomato hornworm (caterpillar) in the classroom to watch it metamorphose. I let the kids vote on a name. It ended up being called Chairstacker Showdee.


I understand chairstacker (that's a classroom job) but showdee?


Our classroom turtle was named Speedy Tuba. I laugh all day.
Zia is offline   Reply With Quote
Zephie's Avatar
Zephie Zephie is online now
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3,279
Senior Member

Zephie
 
Zephie's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 3,279
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 05:44 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #18

1. In the third grade everyday math book there is a math box that asks the kids to draw a cylinder. Well, one very clueless third grader drew a very anatomically correct cylinder. I had to wave over my coteacher and ask her if she saw what I saw. Her response: “penises, penises everywhere.”

2. Once had a sixth grader who wouldn’t call me by my name. When I got flustered and told him I would call him “student” for the rest of the year he told me to call him “studenter.” Sweet boy was Studenter for the rest of the year.
Zephie is online now   Reply With Quote
mrsd5's Avatar
mrsd5 mrsd5 is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 3,112
Senior Member

mrsd5
 
mrsd5's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 3,112
Senior Member
My ultimate favorite
Old 07-25-2018, 06:20 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #19

An 8th grade American history class. We were naming the 13 colonies, and I had told them that they couldn't go to lunch until all 13 were named. They were motivated. Twelve down, but the 13th was stumping all but one. I reluctantly called on the class clown waving his hand wildly as I sat on my stool with the teacher edition in my lap (this is important). He shouted out, in his BEST awful southern accent (we're in the Midwest), "Vagina!" Deafening silence. I raised the heavy tome in front of my face, shoulders shaking. I heard someone whisper, "She's laughing" and the class lost it! The best part was the bewildered boy asking, "What's so funny?" Bell rang and they tore out of the room shouting. My teammates knew what happened before I got to the staff room for lunch. Best moment of my teaching career!
mrsd5 is offline   Reply With Quote
linda2671's Avatar
linda2671 linda2671 is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 22,874
Senior Member

linda2671
 
linda2671's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 22,874
Senior Member
I have one.
Old 07-25-2018, 06:21 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #20

One year on Valentine's Day, the teacher next door intercepted a rose that a little boy had given a little girl in her class. (first grade). She explained that it wasn't really appropriate for him to bring something for one person and not for everyone in the class. Later, during her playtime, she was looking at the rose. It was made of fabric, and as she unrolled it, she found that it was a pair of thong underwear. We've laughed about that one for years.

One year, I invited my first graders to bring a special stuffed animal or toy to show the class and tell why it was special. One little girl brought a stuffed bear, and explained that it was important because her mom got it from the PMS man. (UPS man)
linda2671 is offline   Reply With Quote
SoCalTeach's Avatar
SoCalTeach SoCalTeach is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,240
Senior Member

SoCalTeach
 
SoCalTeach's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,240
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 06:44 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #21

A sweet story... I teach 5th graders. We had done a check-in and I gave a low number, meaning I was having a bad day. One girl asked if I needed a hug. Half the class proceeds to line up to give me hugs. This included some very sweet boys.

Kids wanted to get in line twice to give me a second hug
SoCalTeach is online now   Reply With Quote
PEPteach's Avatar
PEPteach PEPteach is online now
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,726
Senior Member

PEPteach
 
PEPteach's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,726
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 07:06 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #22

I had a very troubled student who was having a bad day. I can't remember what happened, but I had to get our P. When she came in, he yelled "oh great! You had to to do it! You had to bring in that bossy lady! " I had a hard time holding it together....i don't think the p found it as funny as I did.
PEPteach is online now   Reply With Quote
goodwork's Avatar
goodwork goodwork is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 924
Senior Member

goodwork
 
goodwork's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 924
Senior Member
shoe pads
Old 07-25-2018, 07:18 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #23

4 year old brought mini-pads that fit perfectly inside his shoes. He said 'this is the greatest thing ever! I found out that my mom has boxes of these shoe pads in her bathroom. They are just the right size for me!'
goodwork is offline   Reply With Quote
twinmom95's Avatar
twinmom95 twinmom95 is online now
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,368
Senior Member

twinmom95
 
twinmom95's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 4,368
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 07:56 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #24

I had a 4th grade girl who would crack me up regularly, but not intentionally. Near the start of school we were doing bio glyphs and drawing a picture of your face according to certain codes that gave more information about yourself. She had shoulder length straight blonde hair. According to the code she could draw a few straight strands on both sides of her head. She then asked me if she could add bangs because she thought she looked like Ben Franklin! She was right
twinmom95 is online now   Reply With Quote
eagles23's Avatar
eagles23 eagles23 is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,845
Senior Member

eagles23
 
eagles23's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,845
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 08:02 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #25

We were in the middle of a Science lesson when one student raised his hand.(I teach 4th grade.) He asks, "Mrs. Eagles, what's an orgasm?" After picking my jaw up off the floor, I realize he meant to say 'organism' which had been part of our earlier discussion.
eagles23 is offline   Reply With Quote
motbteach's Avatar
motbteach motbteach is offline
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 685
Senior Member

motbteach
 
motbteach's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 685
Senior Member
I look what?
Old 07-25-2018, 08:06 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #26

I send a letter welcoming my new students. Last year I snapped a selfie & included it on the note, so my students would know what I looked like. A few days later we had Open House. One of my new darlings came up and said "You look waaaaaaay older in person than you do in your picture."
motbteach is offline   Reply With Quote
WestCoastTch's Avatar
WestCoastTch WestCoastTch is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,874
Senior Member

WestCoastTch
 
WestCoastTch's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,874
Senior Member
I can laugh now.
Old 07-25-2018, 08:28 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #27

1. When I was a student teacher my mentor teacher purchased a chocolate cake for me on my last day with her. I helped her pass out the cake from the table in the back of her room.

Little did I know a student dropped a huge blob of chocolate frosting on one of the chairs and I sat right down on it. When I stood up and saw what happened, I took a wad of napkins and started scraping it off. Two teachers appeared in the doorway and saw me, slightly bent over, wiping chocolate off my rear-end. I know what it looked like.

2. I spoke about my grandma during class once. A student exclaimed, "Your grandma is still ALIVE?" I was 25.

3. When I taught kindergarten a boy came up to me, pointed at another boy and said, "That kid did a 'bad finger' to me.'" I went home and told my brother about that and we still refer to the one-fingered salute as "doing a bad finger." That was about 17 years ago.
WestCoastTch is offline   Reply With Quote
arsabl's Avatar
arsabl arsabl is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,266
Senior Member

arsabl
 
arsabl's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,266
Senior Member
Class funny
Old 07-25-2018, 08:30 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #28

When I taught first grade a little boy was bothered by something in his pants. He stood up in the middle of class and pulled pants with his underwear down to examine what bothered him. I quickly pulled him aside and sent him to the bathroom to finish.

During the same year, a child come to school wearing her coat. It was decorated with a panty liner pad directly in the middle of her back. The mother noticed it at the same time I did. She was devastatingly embarrassed!

One day the classroom smelled horribly all of a sudden. As I walked around the room checking student work and looking for the stinky culprit, a small turd rolled from the pants of a young boy right in front of my feet. Yuck!
arsabl is offline   Reply With Quote
KeyKid's Avatar
KeyKid KeyKid is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,329
Senior Member

KeyKid
 
KeyKid's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,329
Senior Member
Retirement
Old 07-25-2018, 08:39 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #29

Late this spring I explained to my 2nd grade class that I had been teaching for 33 years. A boy calls out, "That means you're 40!" Yes, I started teaching when I was 7 because I'm gifted.
KeyKid is offline   Reply With Quote
Catdog12 Catdog12 is offline
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 2,350
Senior Member

Catdog12
 
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 2,350
Senior Member
These posts are hilarious!
Old 07-25-2018, 08:44 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #30

My DH brought a forgotten item to me one morning at school. I introduced him to my class, and one little girl gasped, "You have the same last name!"

Another time, DH joined me for lunch at school. A sweet boy said that he knew that was my husband because we looked alike!
Catdog12 is offline   Reply With Quote
postteacher's Avatar
postteacher postteacher is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,333
Senior Member

postteacher
 
postteacher's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,333
Senior Member
Class funny
Old 07-25-2018, 08:46 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #31

One year I had a student named Margarita. One day she was absent. My partner teacher didn't know and came over and called for her. When she didn't respond, she yelled, "Last call for Margarita!"
I raised my hand!

We are open concept and divided only by cabinets. One day one of my boys had terrible gas. Finally, the class just couldn't take it anymore. They started saying things like ewww! Gross!
All of a sudden I see a few heads peek around the cabinets. I asked them what they wanted. They responded that they wanted to smell what was so gross!
postteacher is offline   Reply With Quote
techgrad's Avatar
techgrad techgrad is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,229
Senior Member

techgrad
 
techgrad's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,229
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 08:57 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #32

While at one of our recesses, my teammate sees a group of boys who are ESL students. Their English ranges from little English to almost exited out. We see the boys with rocks in their hands and they are squatting. Then we see the rocks fall. We call the boys over and ask what game they are playing.

Boy with good English: we are playing going poop.

Teammate: why are you playing that?

Boy with limited English: it just has to happen. (Straight faced)

techgrad is offline   Reply With Quote
twin2 twin2 is online now
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 14,095
Senior Member

twin2
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 14,095
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 09:15 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #33

I wear skirts to school daily, usually long skirts, never above my knees. In the winter time I wear tights, usually black. One day when I was out, the teacher talked about clothes during colonial times. She compared their clothing to mine, then one of our students asked if I were Amish. I guess I had that coming.

As a para, I oversaw a book in a bag program for our first grade students. One student returned her book with a note from her mother explaining that their dog chewed the corner of the book. A very large corner of the book had been chewed. We even kept the book, though I am not sure anyone ever used it again.
twin2 is online now   Reply With Quote
QW's Avatar
QW QW is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 611
Senior Member

QW
 
QW's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 611
Senior Member
So much fun!
Old 07-25-2018, 09:48 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #34

Years ago, right after I graduated in January, I did student teaching for second semester. One day I subbed in a high school health class. Of course the topic was sex ed that day. A very tall high school boy raised his hand and I went over. He quietly whispered to me, "I don't get this. What's a nocturnal emission?" Maybe that's why the teacher was absent that day!

One of my favorite memories was a glitter fight. We had so much fun but lots of clean up for a long time afterward.
QW is offline   Reply With Quote
momteach310's Avatar
momteach310 momteach310 is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,612
Senior Member

momteach310
 
momteach310's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,612
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 09:53 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #35

Several years ago I was losing weight...while waiting to have my gall bladder out and so most of my skirts were loose. I had lined the kids up to go to lunch and while I was standing still my skirt just slid right down around my ankles. It took me a bit to realize and then I and just pulled it back up and made some sort of joke. The few kids that saw it weren't sure what had just happened and were sort of stunned!

A Kindergarten girl was playing on the playground equipment and climbing around with ZERO underpants on. I ran over and calmly got her down and asked her about it. She said well there weren't any clean ones in my drawer today...
momteach310 is offline   Reply With Quote
readnteach13 readnteach13 is offline
 
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 281
Full Member

readnteach13
 
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 281
Full Member
Too many
Old 07-25-2018, 11:28 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #36

One of my favorites was student playing kitchen put plastic cups on her friend’s hands and said “you are under arrest!”. She thought the word “handcuffs” was “hand cups”. This year my super serious AP was telling a student he had to clean up a mess he made in the cafeteria and the student said “you’re not Gru, and I’m not your cleaning minion!”.
readnteach13 is offline   Reply With Quote
bison06 bison06 is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,321
Senior Member

bison06
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,321
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 02:28 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #37

It was my first year teaching, 5th grade. We were coming in from recess and the boys were still dribbling/tossing their basketballs.... I said, “Boys, hold your balls.”
bison06 is offline   Reply With Quote
h0kie's Avatar
h0kie h0kie is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 6,777
Senior Member

h0kie
 
h0kie's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 6,777
Senior Member
One from my new position
Old 07-25-2018, 02:47 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #38

This week, one of my HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS asked, "Mrs. h0kie, how old are you?"

"That's not an appropriate question to ask someone and some people find it rude," I replied.

Another student, an exchange student from China, leans over and whispers in his ear. Then, the kid asks, "Mrs. h0kie, how young are you?"



I had to laugh.
h0kie is offline   Reply With Quote
TeacherPK6's Avatar
TeacherPK6 TeacherPK6 is offline
 
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,415
Senior Member

TeacherPK6
 
TeacherPK6's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,415
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 02:48 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #39

Student A: "Ms. TeacherPK6, Student B called me a hypocrite!"

I pull student B aside: "Why are you calling her names?"

Student B: "Because she keeps telling people to do things that she doesn't even do!"

Inwardly I was quite impressed with her vocabulary (4th grade), and somewhat agreed with the assessment of student A, but outwardly I spoke with Student B about more appropriate ways of dealing with frustration with a classmate.
TeacherPK6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Queenie Peavy's Avatar
Queenie Peavy Queenie Peavy is online now
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,896
Senior Member

Queenie Peavy
 
Queenie Peavy's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,896
Senior Member
Loving these!
Old 07-25-2018, 05:45 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #40

Eagles23- I have also had a student make the organism/orgasm mistake.

My favorite parent note ever: "James was absent due to circumstances beyond his control: his dad is an idiot."
Queenie Peavy is online now   Reply With Quote
yellowflowers's Avatar
yellowflowers yellowflowers is offline
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,117
Senior Member

yellowflowers
 
yellowflowers's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,117
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 06:33 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #41

I was walking my kinders to PE. I had to stop abruptly to avoid a puddle and the little boy in the front of the line ran smack right into my backside. He declared quite loudly, "Ewwwww! Your booty was in my face!"
yellowflowers is offline   Reply With Quote
Keltikmom's Avatar
Keltikmom Keltikmom is offline
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,959
Senior Member

Keltikmom
 
Keltikmom's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 5,959
Senior Member
Funny stories
Old 07-25-2018, 06:57 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #42

I am so entertained by these!

When I taught kinder, I still wore pantyhose. Apparently many of the young moms no longer wore hose. One day a kinder boy was rubbing my leg ( as kinders do) then said "do these go all the way up?" As he yanked up my skirt.

Pants were popular for me for the rest of the year.
Keltikmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Song of Joy Song of Joy is offline
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,900
Senior Member

Song of Joy
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,900
Senior Member

Old 07-25-2018, 07:04 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #43

1. I was reading 2nd grade writing assignments about their weekend. One boy wrote about playing poker with his grandfather. "So, I see here that you played poker with your grandfather. Just how is that played?" I asked, thinking that this sounded like a pretty sketchy way to spend the weekend. "Well," he replied, "you go into this special room that has a table with green cloth." (Not looking good, I think) "Then you have these white balls and poker sticks. You poke the balls with the sticks and that's how you play poker." Ahhhhh....a pool table.

2. An ESL student was telling me of his great weekend and a wonderful place to visit in a nearby city. He said there's this pretty park and a little pool with water spraying in it and there was all this free money laying around in the pool and you could pick up as much as you wanted. America was a wonderful place!

3. A boy came back from the restroom. I asked if he made sure to wash his hands. Yes, he reported. He used that special pink soap they have in the bathroom. There's no pink soap in the bathroom I told him, unless...........oh, no! Where do they keep this pink soap I ask? Oh in the place where you pee he explains. I told him to go to the back sink and wash his hands again, and that pink stuff wasn't soap.
Song of Joy is offline   Reply With Quote
Singfree's Avatar
Singfree Singfree is offline
 
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 365
Senior Member

Singfree
 
Singfree's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 365
Senior Member

Old 07-26-2018, 07:51 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #44

One day during snack at a preschool, all the kids were eating quietly. They had string cheese sticks. One boy held his up, flopping it back and forth and said, "it looks like a floppy penis." In response, a girl said, "My brother's allergic to peanuts."

Last edited by Singfree; 07-26-2018 at 08:07 AM..
Singfree is offline   Reply With Quote
SusanTeach's Avatar
SusanTeach SusanTeach is offline
 
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 15,618
Senior Member

SusanTeach
 
SusanTeach's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 15,618
Senior Member
school funny
Old 07-26-2018, 11:50 AM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #45

Last year I had students in small group with me. One boy looked at me and said, "I like your boobs". I almost fell out of my chair! Then I realized my rain BOOTS were behind me and he had said boots - maybe my hearing is going out or I was just hoping someone thought I had nice boobs.

The year before, a boy told me a girl said a bad word and it started with a P. I took him into the hallway and he said it was "Pagina". I told the principal it was everything I could do to not help him with the spelling.
SusanTeach is offline   Reply With Quote
ElizabethJoy's Avatar
ElizabethJoy ElizabethJoy is offline
 
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 319
Full Member

ElizabethJoy
 
ElizabethJoy's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 319
Full Member
toilet mishaps
Old 07-26-2018, 07:25 PM
 
Clip to ScrapBook #46

1. I teach kinder and our bathrooms are a bit of a walk away across the playground. So for the first three or so days of the year, we'd go on whole class trips to the bathroom 4 times a day.

Finally, on about the fourth day, I decided they were ready to go on their own. When the first little boy set off, I decided to watch out the window to make sure he headed in the right direction. To my surprise, he walked about halfway, stopped, pulled his pants down and peed right there in the garden bed

And as for that special pink 'soap' someone else mentioned further up,.... that stuff has made it into my classroom twice this year

2. A few months ago a little boy was proudly sharing about his Welsh heritage. We looked up Wales on Google Earth and began exploring a Welsh city on the smart board. One of the kids asked if we could make the little explorer person run down the streets. Our little Welsh guy replied firmly "No. No one runs in Wales. It is against the law."
ElizabethJoy is offline   Reply With Quote

Join the conversation! Post as a guest or become a member today. New members welcome!

Reply

 

>
BusyBoard
Thread Tools




Sign Up Now

Sign Up FREE | ProTeacher Help | BusyBoard

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:04 PM.

Copyright © 2017 ProTeacher®
For individual use only. Do not copy, reproduce or transmit.
source: www.proteacher.net