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stressed out
 
 
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stressed out
 
 
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How do you deal with a collegue that drives
Old 10-20-2007, 11:42 AM
 
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you crazy? She is so passive agressive towards me and its affecting me physically. I have stomach aches at work, I don't sleep well because I'm stressing over things, and I just really want to go back to my former grade level.

I am the "newbie" but only in the sense that I am new to the grade level. This is my my 12th year teaching but first in this grade level. She REALLY doesn't want me here and I think it's because I am talented in technology and am implementing it throughout the curriculum.

How would you deal with a situation like this?


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Old 10-20-2007, 12:07 PM
 
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Specifically what is she doing (agressive) or not doing (passive agressive) to drive you nuts? Until we know, our advice would be to stay in your own room and ignore her.

How can you allow her so much control that she is affecting you physically?

Maddie
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Old 10-20-2007, 12:19 PM
 
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Not telling me when she is giving my kids tests when they go to her for for teaming (my students have not done well at all in there, only 1 kid had a 90 on the last test and the rest of mine were 60 or below) when I have specifically asked to be informed so I can keep the parents informed. In my class my kids do not score that low, they actually do well.

Not giving me a teacher guide that is mine (she teaches that subject but I need to know the curriculum and she has two) although she says she gave it to me but I know for sure she didn't.

Using my bulletin board space when I've asked her not to and just shrugging it off when I ask about it (I have about 4 feet of space outside my room for 31 students. Not giving me straight answers to anything, no support in lesson planning while she falls all over herself to help the other new teacher, talking down to me everytime I ask a question, condradicting everything I say to her (changing what she said the time before I said the same thing so she doesn't agree with me), and generally just being condesending towards me but with a smile.

I think ALL of this comes from her being intimidated by me and feeling threatend (she told me this in the summer and I told her I wasn't doing anything to make her feel that and she said she knows, that its her problem, not mine, she doesn't like change, she is used to getting her own way, etc.) But the thing is I havne't done anything other than work my butt off to help my students succeed. I also have a MA in Technology so obviously I'm implementing technology throughout the curriculum and the parents and kids are talking about how great it is to be in my room.

I can't control what the parents and kids say, I'm just doing my job the way I always have and if she is jealous of me that's no reason to treat me like this.
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Old 10-20-2007, 12:29 PM
 
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stressed out's Message: Not telling me when she is giving my kids tests when they go to her for for teaming (my students have not done well at all in there, only 1 kid had a 90 on the last test and the rest of mine were 60 or below) when I have specifically asked to be informed so I can keep the parents informed. In my class my kids do not score that low, they actually do well.

Notify your parents with a copy to her that you are going to leave it up to Mrs. X to notify them when there is a test since she is giving the test.

Not giving me a teacher guide that is mine (she teaches that subject but I need to know the curriculum and she has two) although she says she gave it to me but I know for sure she didn't.

Go to the administration or the school system for a second copy of your own.

Using my bulletin board space when I've asked her not to and just shrugging it off when I ask about it (I have about 4 feet of space outside my room for 31 students.

Very carefully take down the things that are on your board and return them to her saying, "I realize that this was not intentional."

Not giving me straight answers to anything, no support in lesson planning while she falls all over herself to help the other new teacher, talking down to me everytime I ask a question, condradicting everything I say to her (changing what she said the time before I said the same thing so she doesn't agree with me), and generally just being condesending towards me but with a smile.

Find someone else on the faculty that can "mentor." You might even want to go to your principal for a recommendation. You don't have to rat out the "pain." The principal will get the idea.

I think you need to counter her every overt move. Remember she is your mentor, not your boss. She sounds like one of those people you can't ignore, which would be my normal advice.

You will be surprised how quickly your physcial problems will resolve themselves when you start driving her crazy.

Maddie

Last edited by MaddieC; 10-20-2007 at 01:45 PM..
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What a PAIN!
Old 10-20-2007, 01:40 PM
 
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I wonder if you have my old job! Just kidding, but I worked for 7 years with a horrible person like that. She did everything in her power to dig at me, control me and backstab. After a few years (and everyone from her past grade level workers to the custodians warning me to watch my back) I called her on it. And I called her on it every single time she acted horribly to either myself or my students. It truly was the only thing that made a difference. But I wouldn't advise that during your first couple of years at that level.

I am guessing that she is a reading specialist or coach and is happily denying you the materials and information you need to do your job. To get further jabs, it sounds as if she is not accurately testing your kids so that you look unsuccessful as a teacher. Am I guessing right? Is there anyone else that could test your children so that there is a comparison?

People may think you are being dramatic, but I've been there and done that. I had to think ahead about everything as she would actually sneak into my classroom and play her games. Ex. Taking my requisition papers and hiding them until the day AFTER they were due - then putting them back in the same place. It got to be funny. I'd leave things out on purpose just to laugh at them being sabotaged (with copies elsewhere).
Nasty person. So glad that our paths never cross. I'm sorry that anyone ever has to go through that.


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Old 10-20-2007, 02:28 PM
 
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You are in a difficult situation for sure. No doubt.
But have you tried to work as a team. It sounds as if there is more than the two of you at this grade level. Can you set a weekly planning meeting? My team did this (but we truly liked one another) --- we had a template we followed for each subject area, resources etc. We planned and divided the work up. Shared and collaborated. That way you could help her introduce some of the technology strategies you are implementing. Think of it as sharing the "teacher guide for technology."
Teaching really shouldn't be a competition. Maybe you can lead by example.
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benteach benteach is offline
 
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Leading by example
Old 10-20-2007, 02:58 PM
 
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is a good way to focus...I can relate to what you are going through in so many ways- however, an old but true saying is to kill them with kindness - as the numerous pp have said counter her every move with a move of your own- one that is not vindictive but one that is carefully considered and allows you to maintain your sanity in this insanity.....
also document, document, document.....writing down what is happening serves 2 purposes - one being a record of what is happening and the second a time for reflection where you are able to write down your feelings and then construct ways to deal with this......hope that helps.
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