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IcyPeppermint IcyPeppermint is offline
 
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Only teacher he hates
Old 08-28-2021, 08:59 AM
 
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So, I have a class of 9, and you would think that would be an easy class and the best part of my day. Besides having 5 of the best students who try, I have four football players who are VERY entitled. From day 1 of school, they have given me the most trouble and are very smart aleck with a mouth. The ring leader has zero respect for me. He walks in tardy and disrupts my warm-up, says nasty things like, "Can we get you to quit?" and went as far as to talk about the VP right in front of me! Of course I told the VP, and he got the coach involved which has helped out. But, no one else has an issue with this kid. They all love him. He is making As in his other classes, and he blames me for his 50. Well, he got a 50 because he isn't paying attention or doing work. I overheard him and some of the other ones say that they hate my class and only my class. I do have expectations for my class, and I normally do not raise my voice, but because of these boys, I have to get loud almost everyday. It exhausts me too, you know!

My question is has this happened to anyone else? He only hates and disrespects me. It has made me question my teaching and what I did wrong from day 1. I do plan on resigning from teaching at the end of the year, but it really makes me question if I am doing something wrong.

Also, I am not resigning because of him, but because I am done with teaching. Funny, there COULD be a kid that would make me quit but not someone like him--entitled, bad at football preppy kid in khakis and a Magellin shirts lol


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football players
Old 08-28-2021, 09:25 AM
 
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Is it a required class? Are they seniors? Do they need the credit to graduate? Will failing affect ability to play next year?
Armed with that information you might to calling them in one by one and being quite direct. My grandson isn't a football preppy in khakis...hopefully he isn't giving any of his teachers attitude. He a football senior in in shorts and T-shirt.
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Thanks for the response
Old 08-28-2021, 09:34 AM
 
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Thank you for the response. It is an 8th grade Social Studies class, so he does have to take it. I just wonder what I did wrong that everyone loves him and he is a jerk in my class. I hope I didn't offend you with the preppy joke. But, when I think of a rough kid who is going to cause me to quit, I think of one who is going to cause bodily harm to me, not one who is just mouthy. So, him giving himself that much credit really annoyed me.
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Old 08-28-2021, 10:03 AM
 
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I don't have a solution, but I feel for you! I've had the same kid. Other teachers thought he was great, but for some reason, he decided he didn't like me. I have no idea why. But it sucks. He told the coach and the VP that I picked on him and didn't like him. I really wished I could video him so I could show the truth! . I teach an elective, so he switched his class to be a teacher's aide and automatically got his A+.
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Old 08-28-2021, 10:34 AM
 
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I don't know about 8th grade, but high school athletes need to be passing core classes to be eligible to play. I would suggest talking with the coach.

You might also spend a little time getting to know the kids. Maybe even show up at a game.


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Old 08-28-2021, 10:36 AM
 
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I wonder if you could sit down with him and have a talk one to one. Approach it as a
“I would like to know where you are coming from” conversation rather than a you are in trouble conversation.

Maybe the two of you can reach an agreement of some kind and make things work this year. I would let him know that you respect him as a person, but will correct his behavior when necessary and hold him to certain standards. Sometimes kids just want to know that you respect them. I struggled with high school students when I taught in an inner city Catholic school years ago. I wish I had thought of doing that and had the guts to do it with a girl who was the ring leader of a very difficult class I had.
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Letter On The Desk
Old 08-28-2021, 03:41 PM
 
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Consider Letter On The Desk. On school letter head paper and envelope type the following form letter (or similar):

Date ______ Time ______ Class________________

Dear ______________________ , (parents’ name(s)


Today in class, _______________ , (student’s name) caused a problem. The problem was _______________________________ ____ .(be

specific and list only one) I will be calling you in the next day or two to discuss ______________’ (student’s name again) problem. I know

working together we can help _____________ (student’s name) eliminate this problem.

Sincerely,

(Sign)

(Type your name)

Make several copies of the Letter and school envelopes to match. Keep them on your desk or somewhere for easy access. When Football mouths off don’t say a thing. Walk calmly to your desk, fill in the letter or keep it on a clipboard and fill in. Meet privately - at his desk, outside or pull him out of another class (recommended if he has buddies in your class).

Show him the letter and say, “This is a letter to your parents. It describes exactly what I have put up with today. I’m going to put into this envelope (write parents’ names on envelope in front of student.) It will be attached to your desk (tape it so he can see it.) If by the end of the period there are no more inappropriate remarks according to my standards you may, in front of me, tear up this letter and throw it away. However, if there is the slightest hint of a remark this letter will be going home today even if I have to hand deliver it.” Key to this speech is it has to be done privately. This intervention comes with no guarantee. It’s merely something to consider before moving up the ladder to more severe consequences. Also, attaching envelope to his desk is judgment call. If you feel it may escalate the situation put it on your desk while making eye contact.
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Old 08-28-2021, 04:04 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're having this problem. Middle schoolers can be rough and care a huge amount about their peers. You describe him as a ringleader. Is he in the other classes with the same group of kids? Sometimes I've noticed that there's just a horrible combination of students and he may be behaving differently in your class not so much because of you but because of his classmates.
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Old 08-28-2021, 06:07 PM
 
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I would try to get his coach to work with you on this. Kids will do anything the coach says.
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Old 08-28-2021, 06:20 PM
 
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A few years ago we had some 8th grade football players who were acting up and not doing their best work. Several of the teachers walked onto the field in the middle of practice, got the kids, and had a come to Jesus meeting with the kids and the coach. It wasn’t all teachers who were having issues. It was all of them. They asked about why they behaved for some and not others. It helped a lot.


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I can relate
Old 08-29-2021, 06:50 AM
 
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Oddly enough this hasn’t really happened to me since my second year of teaching but then again I haven’t been in an awkward situation with the AP being besties with the kids’ parents. Oh yeah…nepotism is real at this school.

Looking back, well obviously I am a bit more confident in my teaching abilities so I probably wouldn’t have allowed him to make me feel as bad. He also was in a group that was very good at enabling his bad behavior. I may have limited my list of people who I go to for help a little bit more, because I was new-ish and desperate I was running around like a crazy person looking for help. It’s so tough, I tried getting the parents on my side and apparently they are nice people but they went over my head mid year…

Yeah I’m sorry I was trying to be helpful but I just ended up rambling. I might be careful to compare his behavior to other teachers because then it’s opening up his ability to make excuses for why he’s allowed to be disrespectful to you. If you want to ask why are you like this in my classroom that’s one thing but I wouldn’t say well so and so says you’re good in their class.
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Not you
Old 08-29-2021, 09:30 AM
 
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I have had this problem and the opposite problem - a kid that was fine for me, but no one else.

The only thing I can think was different was the good kid’s parents backed in front of the student. The bad kid’s mom said I was not a real teacher- in front of the kid.

As far as my teaching, I think the good kid understood why I had expectations and I did not give homework. Pretty random.

Also a lot of teachers will not talk about problems with students. They could be having issues but don’t or won’t fight the football culture.
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Old 08-29-2021, 04:01 PM
 
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If you go a little off-script every now and then, will it be held against you?

If not, see if there's a way, even if it's in a very roundabout way, to work Doug Blevins into a lesson. It is quite an inspirational story, and it might really get the attention of these football players.
https://www.abilities.com/community/...ing-coach.html

Other great stories that might get through to them if you can find a way to work them into your lessons:

Lou Brissie https://sabr.org/bioproj/person/lou-brissie/

Pete Gray https://sabr.org/bioproj/person/pete-gray/
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Thank you for the responses!
Old 08-30-2021, 06:19 AM
 
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Thank you for the responses! Just some clarification; I have been pretty ill for about 2 and a half years now. Since last year, I keep saying that this will be the year I take some leave. However, due to a need for teachers and my campus and department begging me to stay because they have difficulty finding people, I came back. I came back this year pretty ill, so the student probably got away with his mouth in the classroom the first week due to headaches and brain fog on my part. Dealing with this day after day is exhausting especially because I do not feel well. The team does have my back and they say that I am a great teacher. I have just never encountered a child where they're not a problem for anyone else but one teacher. Usually two teachers see it. Since I have been ill, I do question my teaching. I just deeply feel that this is the type of profession where if you're no longer passionate, you should leave. However, how does one leave mid year during a pandemic when teachers are hard to find anyways?

Thank you again for the responses!
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Old 08-30-2021, 11:25 AM
 
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Tell the coach. Most middle school coaches think it’s very important to grow the kids into coachable kids and they will not tolerate behavior like that in the classroom.
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Electives
Old 08-30-2021, 05:56 PM
 
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I think in middle school they still feel that electives are their break time. And if they have to actually earn their grade, well that’s a problem for them. Been there.
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Old 08-30-2021, 07:41 PM
 
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IMHO, you should send him to the office every time he is so rude to you. If you can, get the admin on your side first - it's not necessary, but it really helps. If there is such a dire teacher shortage, admin should be very supportive in order to keep teachers - but even if there isn't, there is no way you should have to tolerate that kind of disrespect - ever in your life - much less as a teacher!

And besides, if you are thinking of leaving teaching anyway, what do you have to lose by removing this disrespectful, rude and entitled child from your room? At least it would make your last days much more enjoyable - and it would be a great example for your other students, that no one deserves to be treated the way that brat (because he is acting like a brat!) is treating you.

I am so unhappy that teachers think they have to put up with such disrespectful behavior. I think that parents and admin have grown to think that it's part of the job. But it's not, really it's not! You have the right to be treated respectfully as a human being, but especially as the teacher in your classroom. And the other students have the right to be in a classroom where all people - especially the teacher - are treated with respect.
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Old 08-30-2021, 07:52 PM
 
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You’re right, But I learned my second year of teaching that office referrals always come down to what did you not do to make this a positive experience?
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Old 08-31-2021, 04:02 AM
 
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I teach 7th/8th grade. I have had a trigger kid before and I genuinely sympathize, because that one class can put a serious dent in your day.

I also suggest working with the coach. Our coaches have a rule of no practice until homework is done. That means they generally spend the first 30 minutes of practice with kids sitting in the bleachers working. If they are failing, they don’t practice until they’re caught up. We are a small rural school and Thai has never caused a problem/shortage of players. The kids even will tell us “coach won’t let us play” until their work is done, and that unique relationship seems to have more weight than mine.

We also have a no pass, no play rule. It is automatic and there is no defense - one F and you are out for the week.

Finally, I suggest a discussion about how not liking somebody does not mean you get a feee pass to disrespect them. I do not know why, but it seems like “I don’t like you” has to mean “I will make your live miserable” both between kids and from kids to adults.

Best of luck!
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Old 08-31-2021, 07:38 AM
 
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"You’re right, But I learned my second year of teaching that office referrals always come down to what did you not do to make this a positive experience?"

Me, too.
But I'll bet you have the right answer for this - you've set up a positive, respectful set of expectations (written and modeled) and atmosphere in your classroom, you have treated all your kids with respect and you expect the same in return, you've warned him that his behavior is disrespectful, you've met with him, you've informed the parents and the other relevant people (in this case, the coach, VP etc.) what he is doing and that it is disrespectful and not conducive to a positive and productive working classroom atmosphere.
Done.
Since the behavior has continued, and it's obviously disrespectful and detrimental to the teacher and to the classroom, it's time for him to be taken care of by admin, and moved to another classroom where he is "liked" better.
And as to that, I find it hard to believe that he is behaving like this only in one classroom to only one teacher or other adult - comments such as he is making indicate a very disrespectful person in general.
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Old 08-31-2021, 07:56 AM
 
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Have you talked to his other teachers?

Have you called his parents? I would schedule a sit-down meeting with his parents. Talk to the parents first and then bring in the kid and talk to them together.
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Great Responses!
Old 08-31-2021, 08:50 AM
 
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Wow, thank you again for the responses! So, some of the other teachers are seeing slight issues with him, and his refusal to do his work. We're all thinking that he was bad in my class because it is a small class of 9 boys, three of which he is really good friends with. Other teachers told me that they can tell he is very entitled and that came out in my small class (his parents own a restaurant in town). Luckily, the team teachers and admin know that this isn't my fault or lack of empathy and classroom management. I have anxiety, and I was starting to worry that if it was only my class he was failing and acting up in, then I would get blamed. The other teacher that they could move him to believes me, so the good thing is that teacher would not allow him to believe that I was just a bad teacher. The coaches here are no help at all. They only care about having quality players on game day. You would think then that they would tell their team to pass their classes, but no, they make excuses for them. Everyone at our campus knows that the coaches are not helpful.

Again, thank you for all of the helpful comments!
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To add...
Old 08-31-2021, 08:55 AM
 
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I also want to add that I have not yet made a parent content because we are barely in the first three weeks of school. I just felt it was too early. Ya'll, these Covid kids are not build the same! lol I live in Texas, so not only have these kids been out for Covid, but they also missed a week of school due to winter storms.
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Old 08-31-2021, 05:26 PM
 
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We're in the third week too, and I tried to contact two parents today. They didn't answer the phone, but I will try again. It's definitely not too early. Nip it early or let it get worse.
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