I know many teachers have great ways to deal with excessive tattling in the classroom, and thus the reason I am hear today asking for your experiences. I want my students to know that I care, yet the tattling seems to get out of hand. My methods, up to this point, are gently saying, “thank you for letting me know,” or “I’ll take care of it” etc… I am realizing that this only increases the tattling behavior. I want my students to feel comfortable coming to me, yet I want to hear less tattling. What do you do to minimize this behavior? Thanks!
Like you, I do want the students to feel comfortable coming to me, but...
I require my students to start their sentence with 'I' (sometimes they say "I wasn't doing anything and then..."). Because of this, I had to get creative. They now have to start their 'tattle' with 'I', tell me what they were doing, then their tattling information, and then they have to finish by saying something nice about the person they are tattling on. I've found that if it's really important, they don't mind telling me something nice about the person because they really do want me to address the situation. When they start to tattle, I just remind them that they are going to have to say something nice about their friend when they are finished. It has nearly eliminated the unnecessary tattling in my room.
I talk with my students a lot about the differences between "tattling" and "telling." If you need to "tell" on someone because you are REALLY worried about their safety or the well-being of the entire class, then OF COURSE you need to tell a teacher (I go by the danger, destruction, or situation you can't handle yourself with nice words rule for this one.) We talk about how tattling is when you are just trying to get someone else in trouble instead of kindly handling the situation yourself by either using nice words or ignoring someone who is bothering you. Whenever I have an inkling that someone is coming to tattle, I'll say "Okay, let's stop here a minute and think about whether the thing you are saying is tattling or telling." At first they will try to justify anything as "telling," for example: "Olivia took my pencil and umm...I was really worried about her because uh, because I didn't want her to get hurt." I find that the best way to nip that in the bud is to smile and say, "Wow, Olivia your friend here sure cares a lot about you because he says he is worried about you getting hurt since you've taken his pencil. That's really nice of him to be thinking about your safety, but I bet he can probably try some nice words to handle this situation himself." Once they realize that tattling won't be honored or acknowledged, it stops almost completely.
A colleague of mine (actually my mentor a few years back) told me a good way... she does what Firsties does, that is, explain the difference in telling/tattling and then she uses the phrase: "Is there fire, flood or blood?" They have to stop and think if it's REALLY important! Of course, she explains what that phrase means. Basically, is someone hurt or about to get hurt? I use the fire, flood, blood thing but I also make them talk to each other about the "problem" before I step in (if I step in). Usually, they solve it themselves and I don't have to!
I've done something similiar to the previous posters in my K/1 classes. I explain the difference between telling and tattling, and I also teach them to use I statements. We role play and practice a lot with "I feel (hurt) when you (took my pencil). When someone tattles, I always ask them first if they've used their words. If they haven't, they know that's what they need to do first before I'll intervene. We also role play responses to I-statements. I never make my children say they are sorry, but I do tell them that if someone uses their words, it's their job to make them feel better. They ask "What can I do to make you feel better?" A lot of times it's simply, "stop taking my pencil." I think it makes a huge difference in the way the children interact.
One important aspect is the Responsive Classroom's Tagger's Choice rule. If someone says that their feelings are hurt, they are. You can't argue that you didn't do anything to them.
I do something similar to jennyfa we use a bug and a wish - "It bugs me when ____ I wish you would stop." Another teacher on our team made little cards with a bug and a wish symbol - a bug (a little ladybug outlined in glitter and a wand also outlined in glitter) she has several up in her room I only ended up puttling up 2 - one by the door and one by the meeting area. The kids do seem to do better when they have a tool of some type like this. I also read A Bad Case of the Tattle Tongue - you can get it on Amazon. It goes into the difference between tattling just to tattle and telling to keep others safe.
I do a combination of what everyone has mentioned - we've talked about tattling a lot "are you telling to get them into trouble, or out of danger" Or I say "use three before me" - we have a peace pie in our school - each slice is a way to handle problems with peers. Usually, they are pretty honest about having tried three pieces of our pie before coming to me. After being told the above mentioned so many times, and realizing their tattles won't be given any life at all - they tend to stop real quick. Honestly, I've never had a problem with tattling in my class. BUT - sometimes I wonder if the kids are scared to tell me things that they really should tell me or are apathetic telling me knowing I won't give them the time of day. Hmmmm....I guess I always figure, if the problem is big enough a parent will call it to my attention, or a noon-aide, or somebody....probably not the most empathetic way to go about things....
If it isn't something serious, they have to write the tattle down and put it in the "tattle bag." I read them after school and address any issues that could be serious. Most are very funny. They get tired of writing the tattles down, so the number of tattles has greatly decreased.
I knew a teacher who used to have students tattle into a tape recorder! They were to press record, state their name, explain the problem and then go sit down and get back to their work. She told the class that she would check their "messages" when she got a chance. Most of the time they would forget all about it and later when she listened to the tape recorder she had a good laugh or two!
I have my tattler and the one they are tattling about come stand by my table facing each other. I just listen while they talk it over starting with the words: "I don't like it when you ___ because ____." Then it is the other person's(s') turn to talk in response. Usually they are able to settle it themselves. If not, I let them stand by me at recess and settle it then. I usually don't have to spend much of "their time" listening to the problem being discussed, but I am glad to do so if it is needed.
We have a community meeting each day. I stress that the most important rule in my class is to be kind. We discuss that tattling isn't a kind way to act because tattling is mostly to get someone in trouble. I also tell my students that I really want to know if someone is hurting them physically, saying really naughty words, or doing something dangerous. Telling those things isn't to be unkind nor is it tattling. It really works. When someone tattles during the first few weeks of school, I ask if telling is to be mean to someone or if I really need to know. I don't have problems with tattling.
Oh! It is so wonderful to see so many of you help out with your procedures on tattling. The suggestions are great and I will certainly give these a try! Thanks so much!
There is a video I use with my kids (the K teacher also uses it so it helps with reinforcement) it is called I'm telling: A Tattler's Tale. It is a sunburst video ( our counselor has it in her office) but I use it from United Streaming. So if your school has a membership to United Streaming you would have access on your computer (www.unitedstreaming.com) It gives the kids options on what else to do besides tattling and when it is ok to tell someone. I use the line (after determining if it is appropriate of course) from the movie "remind them of the rule"...the movie is cheesy but it gives great ideas for the kids and a talking point for you!
I always respond with "Are you tattling or helping?" This seems to stop tattlers right away. Another response if they are just tattling is to ask them what they did about it. For instance, when someone tells me that someone said something rude to them, I always ask "and what did you tell them." We've talked about "I messages" in class and appropriate ways to respond when someone is being unkind. Of course, we start the year with talking about what helping is: i.e. someone is getting hurt or acting dangerously or property is being destroyed. Class meetings help as well.
I can't remember where this idea came from, but I have a posterboard decorated with bugs and the heading "What's Bugging You?" Whenever a student wants to tell me something they must write it down on post-it notes and place it on the buggy board. That satisfies their injured sense of justice and allows me to addrss the problem later if necessary.
You all have such wonderful ideas! The buggy board is great, the united streaming video is wonderful, and the importance of explaining the differences between telling and tattling are wonderful! I will use these ideas and let you know how they turn out! I know that I cannot eliminate this behavior, but at least I can minimize the quantity! Thanks! Happy New Year to you all!
We have a little spiral notebook hanging in our room with a pen attached. When a tattle situation arises I ask the children to write me a little note in the Tattle Pad and I will read later. It always amazes how some children just love to write in this special journal initially but it dwinldes quickly. On the bright side it does provide some highly entertaining reading at the end of a long day!
I started using a mailbox. The children fill out their reports. They must write their name, tell what happened, and tell how they tried to resolve the problem. They then fold their report and put it in my mailbox. This has stopped a lot of the tattling. A few of the children have turned in reports that I have actually had to address. The other 99% of the reports are cute/funny and leave me with a smile or laugh.
12-29-2007, 08:27 PM
I know many teachers have great ways to deal with excessive tattling in the classroom, and thus the reason I am hear today asking for your experiences. I want my students to know that I care, yet the tattling seems to get out of hand. My methods, up to this point, are gently saying, “thank you for letting me know,” or “I’ll take care of it” etc… I am realizing that this only increases the tattling behavior. I want my students to feel comfortable coming to me, yet I want to hear less tattling. What do you do to minimize this behavior? Thanks!
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