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"annoying" student
Old 10-14-2005, 01:35 PM
 
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I have a student who I just don't know what to do with. He purposely tries to annoy everyone by making noises or talking to himself, etc. They will ask him nicely to stop but he just keeps doing it to bother them. I think it is because he thinks either way they are not going to accept or like him so it is easier for people to not like someone you are not than who you really are. I have gathered this through observing him/talking to him, but I just can't figure out what to do about. Please Help, he is such a neat kid and I just want him to let everyone else see it.


 

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Old 10-14-2005, 01:55 PM
 
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Do you have a counselor? At my school, we have guidance once a week. The counselor talks about a variety of subjects from abuse to study skills to friendships, etc. Could the counselor give a lesson to your class on accepting kids? I'm sure he/she could do it in a way where there's not a finger being pointed, just as part of a normal lesson. I think it's really important that everyone accept everyone and treat them with respect no matter what! Would personal counseling help? He might not have learned how to be a friend...sometimes that's hard for kids, especially if they are an only child-that's one thing that I have noticed. Not all only children-I've seen MANY who are very well adjusted, but I have also seen some who have trouble interacting with kids near their age. They can only really interact with adults because that's all they have ever been use to.
 
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Old 10-14-2005, 06:52 PM
 
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I've got a child like that too. I am interested to see if anyone has any good solutions.
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Fred Jones' book
Old 10-14-2005, 08:06 PM
 
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I just read about this issue in Fred Jones' Tools for Teaching. I lent the book out so I can not quote from it, but check it out. You might find it helpful for this kind of student.
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RE: annoying child--For M.
Old 10-14-2005, 08:36 PM
 
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I must take exception to your comments about only children. Please don't make such global generalizations. I know that you put a disclaimer in your reply that you have seen many well-adjusted only children, but to imply that the reason for the annoying behavior might have something to do with whether or not a kid has siblings simply does not stand up. As the parent, aunt, and daughter of only children I can testify that your comment is unjustified. A more appropriate statement would be that some children have not acquired the social skills needed to develop and maintain friendships. This can happen to single children as well as those who come from large families. Of course, there are other factors that may cause this, too. Over the years, I have had a number students who do not recognize social cues. Some of these kids were diagnosed with Aspergers' Syndrome, ADHD, ODD, etc.

Your suggestion about involving the guidance counselor, however, was a good one. This is always a good place to start when a child is having adjustment issues.


 
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small group or individual counseling
Old 10-15-2005, 07:47 AM
 
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I had a student like this last year. I talked to the counselor and the parent contacted the counselor also. In my opinion the child was very immature. That was an issue I saw all year. The counselor at my school has weekly counseling with classes. She also provides small group for kids of divorced families, etc. For this particular student, she did individual counseling.
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Communicative Intent
Old 10-15-2005, 04:20 PM
 
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My suggestion would be to think about the Communicative Intent for his behaviors. Most children misbehave (or behave for that matter) for one of three reasons: Attention, Avoidance, or Control. Once you know the intent for the child's behavior then you can act on it. If it is attention, only give the child attention when he is behaving in the manner in which you approve. The other children in your class will quickly catch on and ignore him as well. If he is behaving this way to avoid doing work or the work is too hard, modify it for him to allow him to be successful. You get the picture.

Once I started to understand this several years ago, my interactions with difficult children changed dramtically.
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sometimes they can't control it
Old 11-14-2005, 02:44 AM
 
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I work with many kids who do this, and for many of them it is out of their conscious control. They have trouble inhibiting their impulses to talk, drum on the desk, make noises, etc. I had one last year for whom I felt it had become a tic disorder - he was "covering" by doing it on purpose when in fact it had started as an involuntary thing, something he wasn't aware of until another person pointed it out. He became rather oppositional about it because it humiliated him to have it pointed out by other kids. We had an agreement that I would give him a quiet signal when the noises/talking started to get out of control. That was OK, but not great - he had already ruined a relationship with a good friend by continuing to annoy the other kid (like you described) and they erupted into constant battles for the rest of the year. That became a much bigger management issue than the original problem.

So I would advise you to have the other kids quietly tell YOU when they are being bugged, and that way you can signal the child with the "overflow" to tone it down. If he feels like other kids are ganging up on him, the behavior could escalate.

Hope this helps!
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Pre-teach appropriate behavior
Old 02-28-2006, 01:46 PM
 
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We all have had that child that annoys others. I have tried to monitor when, what and where the child shows that annoying behavior. At the beginning of the next class, if I know we are going to do a project where the child exhibits the annoying behavior, I teach the child the appropriate behavior for that situation. I then reward him/her like crazy, mainly with praise, when he/she exhibits the postive behavior. Depending on how old the child is, I will ask them if they like the positive or negative attention more and what we can do to accomplish it.
 

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