[sambrolaw]

The previous post with the video reminded me of this. Our principal shared it with us the week of state testing. If your tests are anything like ours...this will probably sound like something you're actually supposed to follow.

Severe Weather Testing Protocols During Testing*

1. Should a severe weather situation occur during testing, please remain calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.

2. Please do not look out the window to watch for approaching tornadoes. You must monitor the students at all
times. To do otherwise would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.

3. Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin to cry, please make every effort to protect their testing materials from the flow of tears and sinus drainage.

4. Should a flying object come through your window during testing, please make every effort to ensure that it does not land on a testing booklet or an answer sheet. Please make sure to soften the landing of the flying object so that it will not disturb the students while testing.

5. Should shards of glass from a broken window come flying into the room, have the students use their bodies to shield their testing materials so that they will not be damaged. Have plenty of gauze on hand to ensure that no one
accidentally bleeds on the answer documents. Damaged answer sheets will not scan properly.

6. Should gale force winds ensue, please have everyone stuff their test booklets and answer sheets into their
shirts...being very careful not to bend them because bent answer documents will not scan properly.

7. If any student gets sucked into the vortex of the funnel cloud, please make sure they mark at least one answer before departing...and of course make sure they leave their answer sheets and test booklets behind. You will have to account for those.

8. Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator, up and take you flying over the rainbow, you will still be required to account for all of your testing materials when you land so please take extra precautions. Remember, once you have checked them out, they should never leave your hands.

9. When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble, please make sure that they do not, at any time, look at or handle the testing materials. Once you have been treated for your injuries, you will still be responsible for checking your materials back in. Search dogs will not be allowed to sift through the rubble for lost tests...unless of course they have been through standardized test training.

10. Please do not pray should a severe weather situation arise. Your priority is to actively monitor the test and a
student might mark in the wrong section if you are praying instead of monitoring. I'm sure God will put war, world hunger, crime, and the presidential primaries on hold until after testing is over. He knows how important this test is.

[TuesdayBear]

That's hysterical, or it would be if some of it weren't true. I'm going to have to save that for testing next year... and I may modify it for earthquakes.

We had a kid throw up on her answer document this year. Too bad she didn't take precautions... we had to get her a new document. What was she thinking?! !

Testing regulations. Sigh.

[anesthesia16]

Ha!!! That's awesome! Love it.

A few years back, when I was teaching 5th, one of the other 5th teachers decided to pop a bag of popcorn in the pod (community room for all the 5th grade classrooms) during the AIMS test. The popcorn burned, and set off the fire alarm! We had to do an evacuation during AIMS!!!! Oh, the prince was NOT happy.

[maggiehgs]

A friend sent these to me during testing this past year. They are hysterical! Heh.

[tweet]

This is funny, and I have seen it before. As fate would have it, we actually DID have tornadoes during one day of our state testing week. The elementary had finished the day before, but high school was still testing (small school--all on one campus). We had gone into tornado drill formation under the tables... Later, one of our teacher's niece came over during her lunch break. We asked how it went at high school. She said most were finished with test when tornado warning came. They got against inside wall. Those still testing stayed in their seats and kept working, waiting for an actual sighting of a funnel cloud. Fortunately, none appeared. No testing irregularities occurred. Aren't we glad? (Sarcasm should be read into last statement.)

[bokajosu]

These are great. We've only had snow interrupt our testing but I am sure my colleagues will enjoy these.

[jcbsmom]

This was a GREAT post. I found it on one of my other teacher sites before we tested in May. Our testing czar is new at it and is VERY uptight. I figured she needed a bit of loosening-up so I printed these, substituting earthquakes for the twisters. She loved it and we had one "warning" per day in our Daily Bulletin. It certainly did help ease some of the tension.

[GraceK]

lmao!!! I love it, gotta share with my coworkers...

too bad it's almost true!